Smile
by halcyonwords
Summary: She doesn't know how she got here; knuckles vigorously colliding with the door before her. This isn't like her, this isn't what she does. She doesn't show up at stranger's doors to ask if they're okay all because she hasn't seen them smile in forever. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: One shot, possible multichapter if people would like me to continue. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this piece of writing, but thought I'd share it anyways. I do have ideas on where to take this if people would like to read more, so feel free to leave a review!**

* * *

She doesn't know how she got here; knuckles vigorously colliding with the door before her. This isn't like her, this isn't what she does. She doesn't show up at stranger's doors, one that she's only had brief conversations with – all of which have been her being a complete _ass_ to him for the noise and havoc he seems to create above her apartment, just to ask if he's _okay_ because she hasn't seen him smile in forever.

She moved into the apartment complex no more than five months ago, and for four out of five of those months – the tenants above her have done nothing but bother her. It started with heavy heels on hardwood, and what seemed like dance practice – which wasn't too bad, Kate could handle that. But then the noises only developed. His apartment was above hers, so how in the hell could she always hear the bed frame banging against the wall?

She'd gone up to his floor many times with rage burning inside of her and given him a piece of her mind – told him to keep the _damn noise down_. But for the past three, almost four weeks there's been complete _silence_. Kate presumes it has a lot to do with the red headed companion the man was always with, and was always half of the reason for the noise.

She should be glad really, that the noise has simmered down and she can finally get some peace and quiet in her own home. But she's not glad, because she hasn't seen his captivating and infectious smile in so long – and really, she should _not_ be this bothered or worked up over a complete and utter stranger. She only knew his name because his face resided on the back of one of her favourite books.

Maybe that's why she cares so much, because his books helped her get through the first few years after her mother's death, and seeing the glumness radiate from the man makes her feel like she owes something to him. Like his words helping her meant that if the roles were reversed, she should at least try and help as well, right? At least that's what she keeps telling herself so she doesn't look like some creepy stalker who's noticed her upstairs neighbour's smile faltering.

It hadn't occurred to her until now that he might not even be in, and now she feels like a complete and utter idiot for standing here for the last ten minutes banging on some stranger's door. She really should just retreat, save herself from the most awkward and embarrassing situation she's about to throw herself into. But before she can think to turn her body around, the door is flinging open and her fist stops mid-air, brows quickly raising and lips forming into the shape of an o.

Richard Castle stands before her in what she presumes is his sleepwear – a t-shirt, pyjama pants and a robe he's now trying to tie up while simultaneously trying to juggle the bottle of wine in his hand. His face is the embodiment of irritation and disinterested as he eyes her up and down and his head cocks to the side, brow quirking.

"Uh, hello?"

Kate swallows the small lump that's begun to form in the middle of her throat as heat begins to flare across her cheeks, and _shit_. She hadn't thought this far ahead. She hadn't come up with a plan as to what she was going to say when she came face to face with the man.

What exactly was she supposed to say? _Hi, I know I've complained about the noise a lot – but can you go back to wreaking havoc because at least you had a smile on your face?_ No, that simply wouldn't do it. That'd make her look like a mad woman.

She clears her throat, gaze darting down momentarily as she tries to compose herself together. Her hand lifts to tuck some short loose curls behind her ear as her tongue dips out of her mouth to moisten her lips.

"Hi…" She pauses, chest rising as her head rises, brown irises meeting the dull blue that's usually always so radiant and vibrant.

"If you're here to tell me to keep it down, I've been quiet all day."

She _almost_ laughs as her head shakes, teeth slowly sinking into her bottom lip to pull it into her mouth. "Uh, no. I'm not here to tell you to keep it down… kind of the opposite actually. Can I – can I come in?"

"I guess…" His brows pull together as he slowly steps to the side, gesturing for her to come in – which she does, and as Kate moves past him she takes in her surroundings. His place is ten times bigger than hers, much larger but slightly less filled than she would've thought.

"So, what did you want to talk about? Were you after an autograph or something?" She turns around to see him close the door and take a swig from the wine bottle and her face can't help but scrunch up; memories of her father just _months_ ago flooding into her head and she has to tear her gaze away from the man, focus on the coatrack in the corner by the door.

Rick notices this of course, and is immediately intrigued as to why the woman before him seems so _squeamish_ about the idea of him drinking from a wine bottle in the middle of the afternoon, it wasn't _that_ uncommon.

"I – no, I'm not after an autograph." She tries not to roll her eyes at his comment, tries to focus on the reason why she's actually here. "Well – okay, this is going to sound extremely weird, and maybe a little creepy…" An airy laugh slips through her lips, her palms starting to become sweaty as her chest rises once more, and _why_ is she so damn nervous? She's a damn detective. She interrogates people _daily_ , she rarely ever gets intimidated or nervous. You could put her in front of the toughest, most hardest criminals and she wouldn't even flinch. Yet, somehow standing before this _complete_ stranger has made her turn into a pile of anxiety.

"I've heard a lot of weird and creepy things. I don't think there's much you could say that would shock me." He shrugs, taking another swig from the bottle and Kate's brows pull together. She just needs to get it out – rip the band aid off.

"I know it's not my place, and I know you probably think I'm some kind of jackass for always showing up and telling you to keep it down but I've noticed that the past few weeks… well, it's been quiet. _Too quiet_. And the redhead you're always with, well – I haven't seen her around in a while, and you don't seem happy, I mean – whenever I see you, you just…" Her shoulders shrug, words flowing out rather fast that confusion only washes across Rick's face as he tries to keep up with her rushed out words. Her hands mimick her words as her gaze stays planted on the ground, unable to glance up at him.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is… are you okay?" Her teeth dig further into her bottom lip, head slowly lifting to make eye contact with him as her pulse begins to beat rapidly beneath the cage of her ribs. Her words are more of a question, and it pains her, physically pains her to say them because she feels so out of place. She doesn't confront people in this way. Has always been pretty reserved, and although she's very good at comforting victims' families, confronting strangers that were her neighbour was another thing.

She watches him carefully, the way the edges of his eyes crease, and his lips twitch in the slightest at her words.

"Am I oh – okay?" His brow arches, and a chuckle can't help but slip past his lips, which only makes the red prominently arise across Kate's cheeks and for her brows to pull tighter together. "I mean, now that you put it – that is just _a little_ bit creepy." There's the teeniest of smirks beginning to play across his lips, and Kate wants out of this situation _now_.

"I'm – I'm a detective. It's my job to notice… things." She swallows hard, arms coming to fold across her chest. She should've stayed downstairs in her apartment, enjoyed the quietness and finally relaxed on. But instead she's standing here, looking like some creepy stalker.

"A detective? Hey, now that is _pretty cool_." He moves around her, fingertips still gripping the wine bottle as he glances over her shoulder. "You want a coffee? I want a coffee."

Her head turns, eyes closing momentarily as a wave of confusion washes across her face. "What?"

"Coffee." His brows raise as he places the wine bottle down and moves towards his coffee machine, pulling out two cups.

Kate's confused, as she stands there just watching him. How they went from her asking him if he was okay, to him now suddenly making coffee just boggles her, and she's really not sure if she should make a run for it or wait to see what happens next.

"To answer your previous question – yes, I'm okay. Okay as one can be when they find their wife in bed with somebody else." He sees the apprehension and confusion on her face when he sees her standing in the middle of the room still.

Kate's eyes can't help but widen, lips gaping as she now stares at the back of Rick's head. Out of all the possibilities as to why he'd be like this – his _wife_ cheating on him hadn't been one Kate had thought of, and she's really at a loss for words now.

"Her names Meredith by the way. I'd rather you call her that then _that redhead_. Because well, my daughter is as red as they come, and this conversation could get _very_ awkward." He spins round, two coffees filled to the brim in his hands as he moves around his kitchen island and past Kate towards his living room.

"Daughter? You have a daughter?" She spins round, still standing in place as she continues to gawk at him in confusion. How had she been here for five months and not noticed that he had a daughter? Every time she'd seen him or gone to complain about the noise she'd never seen a child around, and his apartment barely had any toys lying around. Maybe his daughter was a teenager, though he looked pretty young to have a daughter that was almost an adult.

"Yes, Alexis. She's four." She sees some light etch into his face as he brings up his daughter, and the edges of her own lips can't help but crease. "You can sit down, you know. You don't have to stand there like a duck out of water, _detective_ … speaking of, I never actually got your name?"

"I never gave it." She moves slowly, carefully sitting herself down in the single chair next to his couch. "It's Kate, and I'm… really sorry about what happened with your wife – with Meredith, that's… such a shitty thing."

He shrugs, taking a small sip of the coffee before placing it down on the coffee table. "Actresses, what can you do?" The laugh is bitter, and it leaves a sour taste in the air, one that makes Kate's face scrunch up once more and the anxiety inside of her to build. "Caught her in bed with a casting director after putting our daughter down for a nap. She thought we were going to be out all day…"

Her brows pull together, heart beginning to _tug_ in the slightest as he explains to her. This is _too much_ for her. Like she's back in group therapy and people around her are laying out all their struggles on the table. She hated it – didn't know what to say or do, and this is _exactly_ why she doesn't approach complete and utter strangers. She doesn't deal well with confrontation or laying your feelings or issues out on the table.

"I… wow, that's..." Kate swallows, unsure of what to say and she glances down to the coffee cups on the table; starts watching the steam float up off the cups.

"Yeah, it's… a lot to take in. But I figured since you came all the way up here to ask if I'm okay, the least I can do is tell you why."

She's touched that he's being so open with her, like he feels he owes it to her for her coming up here, and the edges of her lips twitch, head lifting as she meets his gaze once more. She didn't expect him to tell her the exact reason, just wanted to know if he was okay or not, and now she can see why he wouldn't be.

"I'm really sorry that happened to you, Rick. Nobody deserves to find their partner in bed with somebody else." She reaches out, fingertips lightly brushing his knee before she realises what she's doing and her hand quickly retreats, lifts to tuck another curl behind her ear. A force of habit when comforting people – reaching out to squeeze or grip their arms or knees.

"It's not too bad, I guess. I mean, I get to keep this place – and I get full custody of my daughter." He takes another sip of coffee to that, and Kate takes another look around the apartment.

"Is she with Meredith now? I mean, I don't see much kids' stuff around… sorry, I'm being nosy. Force of habit, being a detective and all." She shrugs, a slight laugh slipping through her lips. Her curiosity was probably one of her greatest, yet most terrible qualities.

"Uh, no, it's okay. I mean, anyone else poking around… might be weird, but _you_ poking around is nice." His brow quirks and she pulls her brows together, quickly shoots him a look as a laugh slips through his lips, though she can't help but smile as she sees the smile etching across his own face. Glad to see something else on his face other than a frown. "Inappropriate jokes, it's what I do. I'm sorry. But my daughter, she's staying with my mother for now. I just didn't want her to be around… well, all of this." His hands lifts, gesturing around the room. "I didn't want her to hear all the fighting and see half of the furniture disappearing. I was planning on redecorating before she came back so it wouldn't be too weird for her."

"I see." She pauses, fingertips reaching out for the ceramic coffee mug he'd made her. "I think that's a good idea. Fixing things up after… life altering situations can be good. Nice sense of change." She shrugs, thinking back to when her father had gone up to their family cabin to remodel it and fix it up. Though he'd fallen off the wagon half way through fixing everything up.

She lifts the cup to her lips, letting the warm and delicious liquid flow down the back of her throat, and she almost moans from how good the coffee is. Probably one of the best she's ever had. The machine at work only produced pure sludge, and the one at home was on the verge of needing to be replaced.

"Wow." She murmurs, eyes opening and glancing down to the cup she's now balancing on her knee. "This is, really good. Way better than the sludge we have at work."

"Work – detective, right." She glances up at him, sees the smile and intriguing expression on his face. "I would not have thought you'd be a detective. You look too…" His eyes travel up and down her and she feels uncomfortable in a way, pulls her legs in closer to the chair as she clears her throat, his eyes snapping up to meet hers. "You just seem like you'd be some hot shot lawyer or something." He shrugs and she almost laughs, instead her eyes only roll.

 _If only he knew_. She thinks to herself.

Becoming a detective hadn't been her dream, hadn't even been a mere thought until her mother passed away and justice wasn't served. She transferred straight away when she realised how corrupt the justice system really was. She didn't want to be a part of it, wanted to be on the opposite side and actually make a difference. And maybe _Hoped_ she could figure out her mother's death and get the justice she so desperately yearned for.

"Guess your views of people are a little wrong." Her lips twitch into a small smirk as she tries to lighten the mood, shift it into another direction.

"Is that so? Why detective then? You got a handcuff kink. Ooh, you totally have a thing for putting people in handcuffs, don't you?" His brows waggle and she almost reaches across to slap him but instead rolls her eyes again and shakes her head.

"Yeah, I totally became a detective just so I could have my own handcuffs and use them against the public." She snorts as Rick's smug grin only grows wider. "No, I didn't become a detective for that reason!"

"Hey, hey, no need to get defensive now. Your secret is safe with me, detective." His hands are raised in defence, his smirk still wide across his lips.

"You try and be nice and ask how someone is, and instead it backfires."

She sees his gaze slowly drop, the smirk disintegrating into a small smile as his thumb brushes against the side of his coffee cup. "Hey, I really do appreciate you coming up here, Kate. It means a lot." She can hear the sincerity in his voice, and sees it in his eyes when his head lifts to meet her gaze.

Truth be told, Rick didn't have many people in his life who seemed to genuinely care about his wellbeing. All he had was his daughter and his mother who really cared. So, It made him feel a little lighter to know that the woman below his apartment – one that was only ever complaining to him about the noise, had taken the time out of her day to come and ask him if he was okay, that she had noticed his usual chipper and upbeat self-had dissolved. It made him feel good inside.

She intrigued him, the way she responded to his actions and words. How there seemed to be so much heartache and tragedy behind her eyes that made her so sweet and generous that she'd approach a complete stranger to ask if they were okay. He wanted to know more about her, know what lingered behind those eyes. She was easy to talk too, probably the first person he's sat down with and told about Meredith.

A phone going off causes him to pull away from his thoughts, and he realises he's been staring at her in a bit of awe.

Kate pulls her phone from her pocket, sees one of her partners names come across the screen and clicks answer before bringing the phone to her ear. "Beckett." She murmurs, flicking a glance at Rick who continues to watch her with such curiosity.

"Mhm-hmm, no it's okay, I don't mind. I'll be there in ten, okay? Okay, see you soon." She hangs up, pulls her bottom lip into her mouth as she glances down at her phone.

"That was my partner, uh – I have to go." She begins to rise, Castle quickly following suit as his head nods at her.

"Been a murder?" His head tilts, brow raising as the slightest bit of excitement starts to course through his veins and Kate tries not to roll her eyes at the glum man who's now turned into one of zing.

"Something like that." She shakes her head, lips pulling up wide. "Again, I'm really sorry about everything, Rick. You don't deserve that. Aside from all the noise you seem to make, you seem like a pretty alright guy."

She sees the smile across his face and the small gleam in his eye at her words. "Thank you, Kate. That means a lot, you coming up here… I didn't realise how much I actually needed that talk."

"Well, I'm glad I could have been of assistance. As weird and creepy as this entire situation was." She laughs, scratching the side of her head. Although the anxiety inside of her has simmered down, she still feels super uncomfortable for approaching him and now with the information she's gathered, she just feels intrusive. It's personal, what he's going through, and a complete stranger showing up and asking if you're okay is just an invasion of privacy, and she knows if the situation was reversed she'd be super creeped out – probably start looking for a new place to live.

But he seems lighter in a way, the glumness he was radiating when he'd opened the door seems to have disappeared and he seems like a completely different person, which makes her feel a little better and not like some creepy stalker.

"Weird and creepy is good. Beats all the other boring, normal qualities." He smiles, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his robe.

She smiles back at him, before her head dips. "Well, I Guess I'll see you around? And of course, come and complain if the noise starts up again." Her brow can't help but kink in the slightest, a smirk creasing across her lips before she's carefully turning towards the door, reaching out for the handle and turning it as she pulls it open.

"Oh, now I just have to create a lot of noise so my creepy stalker knows I'm okay." He smirks as she shoots him a look, her lips opening wide. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But, I do hope we see each other around, Kate."

She smiles at him, digging her teeth into the corner of her lip as her head nods and she's soon disappearing out of his apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: You were all pretty keen for me to continue this fic, and the ideas I had running through my head with how to proceed with this were just dying to get out. So I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

He hasn't seen her in over a week, and he's definitely disappointed. He'd meant to send her flowers to say _thank you_ or even hoped to see her in passing and tell her thank you again, but unfortunately the pair hadn't run into each other in the halls or on the elevator. He guesses it's due to the busy life of a cop, and that their schedules have never really matched up.

He'd felt lighter after she'd come to him, like some of the heavy weight he'd been carrying around had started to unload from his shoulders. Of course the pain and heartache from catching his wife in bed with another man wasn't going to just disappear over-night, but he was slowly starting to emerge from his office where he'd been hiding for the past few weeks. He began to clean up his loft; drained the rest of the wine bottle he'd been drinking from and decided to turn to water and caffeine instead. He tells himself it has nothing to do with the fact that Kate had looked so uncomfortable with him drinking from the bottle, and instead tells himself that drowning his sorrows wasn't going to get him anywhere – which was true.

He was curious why she'd felt that way. The time of the day hadn't been weird, and living in Manhattan, it wasn't uncommon to see people drinking straight from bottles – especially wine bottles. Everything about her seemed to make him curious, he was fascinated and he'd only had such a brief conversation with her. He wanted to get to know her better. Wanted to know why she'd become a cop. Because bright, beautiful and caring young woman like her didn't settle for jobs with low salary's like that. No, they became hot shot lawyers or top-notch doctors.

The apartment complex was a pretty high up one, and he doesn't think a cop's salary would be able to afford a place like this. So she _must_ be from money, which only peeks his curiosity even more.

After he'd cleaned up his apartment, he did some online shopping and filled the almost empty loft with more furniture and necessities that would make his daughter feel more at ease and at home. It was hard enough having to explain to a four-year-old that her parents weren't going to be together anymore and that her mother was no longer going to be living with them, so Rick had to make their home spectacular to make up for the missing presence.

* * *

Alexis had been back in his care permanently for the past few days, and it wasn't as hard as he'd thought it would be. They'd always had such a strong and close bond that it being just the two of them was never a problem, and creating a new routine – in Alexis' eyes, had been exciting.

After he'd dropped her off at pre-school he decided to head to his favourite coffee shop, and once he'd had a steaming to-go cup in his hand, he was off and heading back home. He felt good today, and he knows it has a lot to do with the fact that his daughter was back with him. He even felt like he could give writing a go – considering it'd been a few weeks and black pawn was _now_ starting to get onto his case about delivering a few chapters for his new novel.

The streets were crowded, and it only caused frustration to wash over him. He loves the city he lives in, but at times it can be overwhelming and downright annoying. He decides to take a short cut and heads down an alley way, but he barely makes it to the end before he sees the _lifeless body_ curled up atop of the trash bags beside the dumpster and his coffee cup falls to the ground, lid popping open and the contents inside spluttering out all over the concrete.

He fumbles to get out his phone, eyes wide and lips gaping as his pulse thumps faster than he thinks possible as he quickly dials 911.

* * *

She gets the call about a body drop while sitting at her desk finishing up a file for the previous case she's just closed, and calls her partners – Esposito and Ryan, telling them where to meet her.

When she arrives at the scene, they're there before her – both hovering near the entrance to the alleyway, and the looks of concern that's washed over them only has her brow raising, but as she passes by the boys and glances over to where her friend – and m.e; Lanie is knelt down beside, Kate stops in her tracks.

The scene before her, it's _too_ familiar. It makes her blood run cold, causes the hairs on the back of her neck to rise and a lump to form in the middle of her stomach. A young woman; who looks no more than fourty, is sprawled out atop of trash bags, blood smeared across her chest and markings covering the bare bits of her body.

"Kate." Lanie's head lifts as her gaze lands on her, and she's slowly rising to her feet, moving towards her friend. "Hey, you okay?" Lanie's head tilts, arm reaching out and as Kate feels the grip against her arm, it pulls her back to reality and she quickly blinks a few times, swallows the lump in her throat and lets her lids fall closed before she nods her head a little too fast.

"Ye – yeah, fine. Fine. I'm fine." Her chest rises as her eyes open and she tears her gaze away from Lanie to land on the body. "So, what do we got?" Her brows pull together, the professional woman inside of her starting to pull together.

"Fourty two-year-old Caucasian female with multiple stab wounds. Cash and ID weren't intact, so this may indicate a robbery gone wrong." Esposito responds, glancing down to his notes before back over at the body.

"And from what I can tell you, time of death indicates between three and seven this morning." Lanie taps her pen against the clipboard, eyes wandering over the notes she herself had written down.

"Any witnesses?" Kate asks, brows raising.

"Uh, not that we know of. We're getting street cams pulled, but the guy over there is the one who called it in." Ryan lifts his arm, pointing past Kate and Kate's head turns, gaze following and soon landing on a familiar man.

Her eyes widen once more, and her pulse speeds up for the _second time_ within the last five minutes. _What the hell was he doing here?_ She thinks to herself. She hadn't seen him in over a week, and part of her had been glad that she hadn't ran into him in the halls or on the elevator. She still felt weird for intruding, and she was trying to tell herself that checking up on a neighbour to make sure that they were okay wasn't a _bad_ thing. She was a detective after all. It was her job to notice things. For all she knew he could've been harvesting a body inside of his apartment and the glumness had just been guilt from taking somebody's life – of course that was just the very deranged part of her imagination.

"Has anyone taken his statement?" She tears her gaze away from Rick standing in front of two officers – glad that he hasn't noticed her.

"Yeah, his names Richard Castle. Want us to go grab it from him, ask a few more questions?" Esposito asks, and Kate shakes her head. She knows it's probably best that she goes and talks to him, gets yet another awkward encounter out of the way so that she can get back to solving this case.

"No, I've got it. Why don't you and Ryan look around, see what you can find and then head back to the precinct and see what the street cams have pulled up." With that, she turns on her heels and heads in direction of the man who's standing behind two officers.

"Mr. Castle." She breathes out, the men separating as they glance down at the detective and they're soon moving away from the two. Kate glances up, sees the smile twitch on Rick's lips and that _gleam_ in his eye.

"Kate! What are you doing here?" He tilts his head, quickly shakes it as his face scrunches up. "Right, you're a detective." He laughs slightly and Kate only stretches the edges of her lips up slightly. "What are the chances, huh?"

"Yeah, what are the chances." She almost groans, really hating the universe at this moment in time. Their first encounter had been awkward, and that had been on her. But now this had nothing to do with her, and was in fact the universes fault for putting her in this predicament. "So, you were the one who called in the body?"

"Mhm-hmm. I'd just dropped Alexis off at pre-school, grabbed a coffee and decided to take a short cut home. But, well… as you can see." He gestures to the body, a nervous chuckle escaping through his lips and Kate only nods.

She doesn't know him well enough, but she can already tell that he's just an innocent bystander, and has nothing to do with the woman who lays lifeless just a few meters away from them.

"Right. Did you see anybody around? Anyone come out of the alley when you came in?" Her brows raise but Rick only shakes his head, his own brows creasing.

"No, I didn't see anything. Not till I almost made it out of here and then I saw her hunched up in the corner."

She chews on her bottom lip, pondering a few thoughts before she's glancing at Rick. "Okay, thank you. That'll be all we need from you. We've got your statement and information, if we need anything else from you, we'll call. You're free to leave." She nods at him, gives him a brief smile before turning.

"Leave?" Rick tilts his head, shuffles forwards, almost bumping into Kate as she stops in her tracks and turns to look at him.

"Uh, yeah. This is a crime scene after all, we don't need civilians hanging round. We've got everything we need from you."

He almost pouts, his brows pulling together and furrowing. "But, I mean… I can help more, right? After all I was the one who found the body and called it in. Surely you'd need my help?"

Kate's brow pull together, slight confusion washing across her face. Because was he serious? She almost squints at him, lips gaping slightly. "No, you can't help. You're a _civilian_. Just because you called it in doesn't mean you get to hang around and intrude on official police business. So, if you will, Mr. Castle." Her brows raise, arm lifting and gesturing to the exit of the alley way.

She spins round, heading back over to where her partners and Lanie reside.

"Find anything?" She asks and Esposito hands over a wallet to her.

"Yeah, found that just under the dumpster. Her names Leslie Reynolds, she's fourty two year old florist. Married and seems to have two young kids from the pictures she's got."

Kate opens the wallet, pulling out the photographs of the twin girls and her chest hitches, heart beginning to thump. From the picture, it looked like the young girls were no more than five years old, and Kate had to pull herself together from letting tears emerge around the rims of her lids.

She feels Lanie's hand on her back and Kate snaps her head in direction of the woman who's giving her a comforting smile.

"Call her husband and have him come in." She slips the photos back in before closing the wallet and handing it back to Esposito.

"You sure you want in on this case, Beckett?" Esposito's head cocks to the side, concern washing across his face, and Kate hates this. Hates that _one_ case that's at all too similar to her mother's has her co-workers treating her like she's some invalid.

"Of course, I do. Why wouldn't I?" Her brow arches as she stares over at Esposito. Her look says it all _try me_ , and he definitely doesn't want to, so instead he raises his hands in defence and nods at her.

"'kay, only if you're sure, chica. We'll head back to the precinct now." He reaches out to grip her shoulder and squeeze it as Ryan and him pass by her before heading towards their cruisers.

"Espo's right, Kate. Are you sure you want to be in on this case? I'm sure your Captain would be understanding if you told him to pull you off."

Kate sighs at Lanie's words, her head lifting as she glances up at the clear blue sky. "I'm fine, Lanie. Really." And a part of her was fine. She'd gone to therapy, dealt with millions of cases that had victims who were in alleyways or young woman who looked like her mother, and she got through those cases. So, she'd get through this one as well. And if she struggled, she'd take a sip of liquid courage and remember _why_ she became a cop, _why_ she was doing this.

* * *

Kate grunts, fingertips curling into the palm of her hand before the fist she's made collides with the top of her desk. So far, they'd gotten _nowhere_ in their case. The young woman was a florist, and her marriage with her husband seemed solid. The wallet they'd found still had all her money and cards intact, and the street cams were no help. There weren't any that were close enough to their crime scene. There was nothing to indicate why anyone would want her killed, and why she was out in the early hours of the morning instead of at home with her family.

Out of all the cases she could've hit a dead end in, it had to be _this one_. She couldn't deal with another case too similar to her mothers going unsolved. She just couldn't.

The boys had left about an hour ago, and Kate _really_ should head off. After the day she'd had, she needed a long both and an extra-large glass of wine. She presses her index and middle fingers against her temples, groaning as she rubs them.

A sigh falls from her lips as she carefully pushes herself away from her desk and rises to her feet.

"You heading off, detective?"

As she reaches for her jacket, her head lifts, gaze landing on her Captain, and her head nods.

"Good. After today I think a nice long rest will do you good." He smiles lightly at her, and she reciprocates.

Her Captain had always been good to her – _too good_ at times. He knew all about her mother and the case, was _very_ understanding about it all, and just like the boys and Lanie, he too had asked her if she wanted to be taken off this case or not.

"Yeah, think a good night's rest will give me a clearer head." She reaches for her keys and phone before glancing back at Montgomery one last time. "Night." She nods at him before spinning around.

"Hey, Kate?" He calls out to her and Kate stops at the pillars, glances over her shoulders to look at him as her brows raise. "Take it easy, okay?"

She appreciates his concern, appreciates the concern her partners had given her as well. Is glad the people she works with are so understanding and caring. She smiles lightly at him and nods, head dipping. "Will do, sir." And with that, she heads towards the elevator before riding it down.

On her way home, she stops at the liquor store. She knows she finished her last bottle of wine a few nights ago, and there's no way she could get through the night without something in her system.

When she arrives at her apartment complex she reaches over to the passenger side where the brown paper bag with the two bottles reside. She grips it with one arm and heads inside, only to have to rush forwards as she sees the elevator doors beginning to close.

"Hold!" She calls out as she sprints across the lobby, an arm outstretching and stopping the doors from closing as she quickly slips in. "Thank you." She lets out a breath, the doors closing as the outstretched hand retreats.

She glances up, and her pulse begins to rise as she's met with the familiar blue eyes she'd seen this morning.

"Level eight, right?" He smiles at her, reaching past her to press her floor number, and it's only then does Kate notice the young girl with flaming red hair residing on his hip.

"We've really got to stop running into each other like this." He laughs lightly and Kate tears her gaze away from the young girl whose eyes are just as piercing as her fathers, to land on the man himself.

"Uh, yeah." She blinks, swallowing the small lump in her throat.

He notices her gaze travel from his daughter to her and he adjusts Alexis on his hip, his grin widening. "Oh! Kate, this is Alexis. Alexis, this is Kate. She lives below us, pumpkin." He grins down at his daughter who smiles over at Kate, her hand immediately stretching out and he watches Kate's brows furrow, a small smirk creasing her lips as she shifts the brown bag to takes a hold of Alexis' hand.

His brow raises as he hears the clatter of bottles in her bag and he's soon pulling them together. Curiosity beginning to wash over him.

"It's nice to meet you, Alexis." She laughs lightly, amused by the greeting from the young girl.

"It nice to meet you too!" Alexis' squeaky pitched voice fills the box, her grin stretched wide across her face as her head leans against her father's chest, hand retracting from shaking Kate's.

The young girl was adorable, and Kate couldn't help but feel like the troubles of today weren't that important when the young girl was smiling at her like that.

"You're very pretty." Alexis giggles, and Kate can't help but match it, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as her heart bursts from the joyful young girl.

"Well, I happen to think you're very pretty too, Alexis." Kate smiles at her, creases emerging around the edges of her eyes. "So, how old are you?"

"Four!" Her hand rises, as she folds up four fingers, a giggle eliciting from her lips. "But I'll be five in a few months, won't I daddy?" Alexis turns her attention to glance up at her father and Rick nods down at her, smoothing a hand over the back of her hair.

"Indeed, you will be, pumpkin."

Kate watches the pair, the smile still playing on her face as the elevator soon comes to a stop, a ding ringing through the small box to indicate the floor.

Kate tears her gaze away from the young girl to glance out and see the floor its stopped on and her smile falters slightly. "Well, this is my stop… it was nice meeting you, Alexis. Night, Rick." She tears her gaze away from Alexis to glance at Rick, giving him a brief smile before she's heading out of the elevator.

"Bye Kate!" Alexis waves while Rick lightly bounces the young girl on his hip.

"Until tomorrow, Kate." He nods and she pulls her brows together, glancing over her shoulder at him as her head cocks and her brows raises.

"Until tomorrow?"

"It's more hopeful than night." He shrugs, and before she can respond, the doors are closing on the pair.

She shakes her head, a slight laugh slipping through her lips before she turns and head towards her apartment.

* * *

When she gets in, she holds off for as long as possible before doing the unthinkable and pulling out her mothers case files.

She distracts herself with a nice long and hot bubble bath. Has two glasses of wine while eating last night's Chinese food. She even clears away the stack of cardboard boxes in her fridge and folds the clean laundry that's been sitting in her laundry basket for the past two days.

But as she sits on the couch, flicking through channels aimlessly, an itch that can't physically be itched nags away at her, and before she knows it. She's retreating into her bedroom and pulling out the large, heavy box she'd tucked away into the corner of her closet.

She pulls out all the files she'd copied and lays them out across her coffee table. She switches her glass of wine for a glass of whiskey and ties her hair up into a bun before she's sitting herself in front of her coffee table.

* * *

After Kate had told Rick he could leave the crime scene, he'd hung around; lurking behind the corner and watching the exchanges between the detectives. He was curious about the murder, and really, it was unfair they were keeping him out of the loop when he'd been the one to find the body.

But what peeked his curiosity even more was the way the detectives and the medical examiner seemed to comfort and be concerned for Kate. He wonders if she knew the woman, and that's why they looked so concerned, he also thought that maybe it didn't have anything to do with the case, that maybe she had things going on in her personal life.

His curiosity, and the concern for her wellbeing only increased when he'd heard the liquor bottles rattling in the brown paper bag when she'd shaken his daughters hand. He also couldn't help but notice the haunting look that filled her eyes, the same one he'd seen at the crime scene earlier. There was a story behind those eyes, and intriguing but also painful one.

After he'd given Alexis dinner and put her to sleep, he tried his best to distract himself from thinking about the woman below and tried writing a few chapters. He didn't get more than halfway through a chapter before he was closing his laptop and rising to his feet.

He had to check on her – make sure that she was okay. After all, she'd been concerned about his wellbeing and had gone out of her way to ask and see if he was okay, so the least he could do is ask if she was okay.

He checks on Alexis, and when he sees that she's fast asleep he carefully slips out of his apartment. He'll only be gone for a few minutes, and the building they lived in was safe, the neighbours next door had even babysat Alexis a couple of times when Rick and Meredith had gone out. So leaving her alone upstairs while she was asleep for a few minutes wasn't too concerning.

He rides the elevator down, his nerves beginning to rise and his pulse quickening as the elevator dings onto Kate's floor. He's not sure why he's so nervous. Maybe afraid to find out what lays hidden behind those horror filled eyes, maybe afraid she'll bark at him for prying and send him on his way.

He moves down the hall, stops just outside her number – he'd seen her go in a few times, so thankfully he didn't have to go door knocking. He wipes his sweaty palm across his trousers before he's curling his fingertips into a fist and letting it collide with the door a few times.


	3. Chapter 3

She awakes abruptly, face half buried into the cushion of her couch as her eyes peel open to what she thought was banging. Confusion washes across her face, lips parted as her head slowly lifts from the position. Her eyes begin to adjust to the light coming from the lamp beside her that's illuminating half of the open plan living space.

Her hand comes up to her face, rubbing at her eyes as she glances down at her watch to see the time: _12.04am._ She can't help but yawn as she sits herself up and stretches her legs out from the curled-up position they'd been in.

She'd fallen asleep about an hour ago; hadn't even meant to fall asleep. She only wanted to rest her eyes for a minute as the words across the copied files were starting to jumble inside her brain.

Before she can reach out to pack away the files, the knocking that she thought had woken her up comes again and Kate's brows pull together. So it hadn't been a figment of her imagination. But, who the hell was here at _this_ time of the night?

She tucks the loose strands that have fallen out of her bun behind her ear as she carefully gets to her feet, stretching her limbs for a moment as another yawn slips through her lips before she's padding across the living room towards her front door.

She glances through the peep hole and can't help but blink a few times; shock beginning to course through her. Because what on earth was Rick doing at her door at this hour? She almost groans, but instead a sigh falls from her lips as her hand reaches for the lock to undo it.

She pulls open the door, brows pulling together and furrowing as she's met with the blue gaze of her neighbour.

"Rick?" Kate's head cocks to the side slightly, fingertips gripping the door. "What – why are you here?"

He flicks her a small, tensed smile as he rubs the back of his neck. His adams apple bops before he's clearing his throat, gaze shifting to his feet. "I uh…" He can't help but laugh, eyes falling closed as his head shakes and Kate only continues looking at him with more confusion than ever.

"What's so funny? Is everything alright?" Kate looks him up and down and for a brief moment she remembers the elevator ride and the small red headed young girl she'd met. "Alexis?"

His head snaps up and he's quickly shaking it. "No, she's fine. I'm fine, we're both fine. She's upstairs asleep, but I wanted to come down here and, well… I wanted to ask if everything was alright with you actually."

Surprise washes over her, her furrowed brows slowly easing apart as one slowly raises before they're pulling back together. "Wait." She pauses, tongue slipping out of her mouth to run along her lips as her free hand lifts to hang between them. "Let me get this straight…"

Her gaze lands on Rick who's watching her, waiting for her to continue.

"You came down here at –" She glances at her watch quickly before back up at Rick. "Almost ten past twelve in the _morning_ to ask if everything was alright with me?"

The _irony_ and the role reversals was about to make her head spin, though she's sure the slight banging that's starting to surface in her head is to do with the multiple glasses of whiskey she had no more than an hour ago and not with the situation at hand.

The edges of Rick's lips crease, a breath of air slipping out. "Yeah… déjà vu, right?" His small smile turns to a smirk and Kate can't help but roll her eyes.

"It's just… well. You checked up on me when you thought something was wrong, and I wanted to do the same." His tone turns too serious too quickly, his hands slipping into the pockets of his jeans as his shoulders shrug, and Kate lets go of the door to fold her arms across her chest.

"What – why would you think something was wrong?"

"Well, at the crime scene this morn–"

"You were still there? After I told you to go?" Kate's jaw can't help but tighten, a small lump beginning to form in the middle of her throat as Rick's hands come up before him in a way of defence.

"Yes… I was hanging around the corner."

"What did you hear?" Her heart is beginning to thump; pulse quickening with each second that he leaves her hanging, and is it suddenly really hot inside her apartment?

"Nothing, really. I was too far back. I just – I've never been at a real crime scene, and I was curious." He shrugs, lips stretching out to the sides of his face. "I may not be a detective, but I am a writer, and as a writer it's kind of my job to observe and pay attention to detail. Hey, our jobs are pretty similar."

"They're very different, Rick." She cuts in sharply, her chest slowly rising.

The last thing Kate wants is for Rick to have overheard just how concerned her co-workers were for her wellbeing and _why_ she might not be able to cope with this case. She didn't need him looking at her or viewing her in a different light. She also didn't know him well enough to tell him her messed up life story. She'd checked up on him _once_ and asked how he was _once_ , it didn't make them friends.

"Okay, different. But, as I was saying… I noticed that your co-workers seemed… very concerned. I couldn't make out what any of you were saying, but I can read body language and facial expressions pretty well. And then earlier in the elevator I heard the bottles clinking."

"It was a crime scene. Ever think about how hard it is to see a dead body on the daily? Her brow raises, shoulders lifting in the slightest. She knows it's _cheap_ , that even she doesn't buy what she's saying. Becoming a detective means you have to be comfortable with seeing dead bodies on the norm, and she was – they all were. But she needs to detour away from this conversation quickly. "And what, now I'm not allowed to buy alcohol without everything not being alright? If I remember correctly, you answered the door to me drinking a bottle of wine."

"And you were uncomfortable about that."

He watches the quick intake of her breath, and he knows his observation is one she didn't think he saw.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to pry – though, you did pry _a little_ into my life." He pauses briefly, eyes widening slightly as his head tilts to the side while Kate only shoots him a look. "I'm not saying you owe me any explanations, but you don't look okay, Kate. And you were there to listen to me, so I'd like to do the same for you." His smile is comforting and warm, and Kate is reminded why she first approached him the following week.

A sigh falls from her lips, arms untangling themselves from around her waist and dropping to her sides as her gaze shifts to the ground. "I'm – I'm fine, Rick." She sucks in a breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out and looking up at him. "Just been a long day, tough case." She shrugs, lips forcing themselves to curl into a _very_ forced smile.

He sees right through her – can see the pain laced behind her eyes and the mess over her shoulder that's sprawled out atop of her coffee table. He knows there's more to what happened at the crime scene and the reasoning behind the alcohol. He won't push her though. He doesn't know her well, but he can tell she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve like he does. She's not as willing to open up to a complete stranger as he was.

He nods, lips forming into a line. "Okay, alright. Only if you're sure."

"That's the life of a detective. I have to deal with _death_ and bringing justice to those whose lives have been taken on the daily. It gets a little tough and tiring sometimes. But I'm sure I'm fine."

He believes that; admires her for wanting to bring justice, but he also believes there's so much more there. So much more as to why she became a detective – why her eyes seemed so old and tired for a woman so young and beautiful.

"Alright then. I'm – I'm sorry if I woke you." He can't help but sigh, his brows pulling together slightly.

"No – it's fine, if you hadn't woken me up I probably would've shown up to work late. I hadn't even set an alarm yet." She smiles lightly, sees the small smile twitch at his lips. "Thank you, Rick." She does appreciate it – appreciates him coming down here, even if the hour is ungodly and she's a very private person.

"Anytime. And I mean that – anytime you want to talk, maybe grab a cup of coffee… I'm just a floor above."

She nods her head, fingertips lifting to wrap around the door. "You better get back to Alexis, now. You wouldn't want her waking up to find you not there."

"Yeah, I should. I hope you don't think I'm a bad parent, leaving her up there. We've been here since she was born and the building – I trust it, it's safe and everyone is so nice and friendly."

"I don't think you're a bad parent, Rick, and you don't need to explain yourself to me." If it were any other building, she definitely would've questioned his parenting skills, but over the five months she's been here, she's noticed just how safe and friendly the building was.

He smiles at her, the edges of his eyes creasing before he's nodding his head. "Goodnight, Kate." And with that he slowly turns around, heading towards the elevator.

"Night." She murmurs, watching him get onto the elevator before she's closing the door to her apartment and pressing her back against it. Her head leans back, eyes falling closed as her chest rises slowly.

* * *

The second time she wakes, it's less abrupt, and more natural. She'd woken up a few minutes before her alarm and simply laid beneath her covers while staring up at the ceiling.

Her mind had one too many thoughts running through them and she wasn't even sure where to begin. She hadn't touched her mother's case in months. Had kept the files stored away in a box high up above in the corner of her closet that the top was slowly starting to gather dust on it.

She hates the little self-control she has, how the year of therapy and all the hard work she'd put into putting her mother's case away was slowly starting to resurface. She didn't want that, didn't want to fall back down the rabbit hole, but she knew if she didn't solve the Reynolds case; that if a case too similar to her mother's went unsolved – she wouldn't be able to handle it.

As her alarm goes off, Kate reaches over, her fingertips silencing the clock before she's shoving the covers off herself and heading into the bathroom.

It doesn't take her long to shower, dress herself and apply minimal makeup before she's slipping on her necklace with her mother's wedding ring attached to it, and putting her father's watch on. Two things she can't leave the house without wearing – two things that remind her why she's in this line of work.

She puts her gun into its holster and clips on her badge before she grabs her coat and keys and heads out the door.

She shouldn't be too surprised when the elevator doors open and she sees Rick standing there. She almost zips towards the stairwell, but he spots her; smiling at her before she can run off and not have another conversation about whether she's okay or not.

"Morning." He chirps and it's too early for this, she needs coffee in her system before dealing with over enthusiastic adults.

"Morning." She nods at him, rolling back her shoulders before focusing her attention on the numbers above the elevator, hoping and praying they'll go down faster and she can escape this metal box.

"How are you this morning?"

She turns her head, glancing at him as her brow arches.

"Not asking for a tell-all book." He puts his hands up in defence again, and she really should stop shooting him looks and shutting down his generosity. He was being kind, trying to return the favour as she'd checked up on him. She didn't have many people in her life that checked up on her regularly or wanted to know if she was okay, and there was no harm in being on good terms with her neighbours.

"I'm doing fine, bit tired." She shrugs, and soon sees slight worry begin to wash across his face. "Oh, that's not your fault. I stayed up a bit after you left." She watches the tension in his face begin to ease before she's turning away from him, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. "So, how are you this morning? Where's Alexis? You haven't left her upstairs again, have you?"

He's about to get offended till he sees the small smirk playing on her lips and his head shakes in the slightest, an airy chuckle escaping through his lips. "No, I haven't left her upstairs again. Though I did package her neatly in a box and send her on her way."

"I hope you poked air holes for her."

"Of course, I did! What kind of father would I be if I didn't?"

She shakes her head at him, the edges of her lips lifting.

"My mother came and picked her up, wanted to take her out for breakfast and have a girl's day since she doesn't have pre-school."

Kate nods her head, her smile softening at the mention of his mother. It warms her heart knowing he must be close with his mother, though she also can't help but be saddened and miss her own mother.

The elevator dings and soon the doors open. The pair both walk out, heading towards the entrance of the building.

"Hey, Kate." He stops in his tracks and Kate turns around, sees him pull his bottom lip into his mouth and her brow arches.

"Yeah?"

"Feel free to say no. But, would you want to grab some coffee?"

A small lump can't help but form in the middle of her throat as her own teeth sink into her bottom lip and her gaze flicks away from Rick. "I'm – I can't. I really have to get to work, I can't be late." She really doesn't want to be late. She really needs to close this case, and she's hoping that Ryan or Esposito have found something on their victim that can lead them somewhere.

"Okay, not right now. But how about later? When's your lunch break?"

A sigh falls from her lips and she scratches the side of her head. "Rick."

"Hey, it's just coffee. You don't have to reveal all your secrets and spill out all your feelings." He takes a tentative step towards her, head cocking to the side as his hands stuff into his pockets. "But, I do need a friend right now. Aside from you, the only people I really have to talk too are my mother and my daughter. And although I love them both to bits, my mother is, well… a lot sometimes, and I can't talk to my daughter about most things because one; she's only four and doesn't know what's going on half the time, and two; despite being four, she scarily gives good advice. I don't think I want to be put in a time out for telling her about some of the things I've done…"

He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck as Kate can't help but snort at his words.

"And what's some of the things you've done, Rick? Anything illegal? Because you know I'm a cop, right?"

"Well, if you want to know whether I've done anything illegal or not… you'll have to meet me for coffee." He waggles his brows, a smirk growing wide across his face as Kate shakes her head and rolls her eyes, her teeth dragging through her bottom lip.

"My lunch break is at 11.30."

She watches his face light up, his smirk turning into a grin. "11.30 it is then. I'll text – Wait, I don't have your number."

She snorts once more, head shaking again. "Give me your phone." Her hand stretches out as Rick digs through his pocket for his phone before handing it over to Kate.

She takes a hold of it and quickly puts in her number and name before handing it back to him.

"Just text me a place, and I'll meet you there at 11.30."

He grins once more at her, letting his phone tap this side of his head. "No standing me up, I know where you live remember."

She rolls her eyes, tries to refrain from letting a smirk crease her lips and instead shrews her lips to the side. "Not something you really want to say to an officer. But, I'll be there if it means I get to hear about all these illegal activities you've done."

"Oh, I can definitely promise you'll hear about all the fun things I've done." He nods at her and Kate glances down at her watch before her eyes are widening.

"Crap, I really have to go."

She spins round, quickly heading for the door.

"See you at 11.30, don't be late!" Rick calls out to her and Kate's arm lifts, hand waving at him slightly before she disappears out of the building and into the brisk New York air.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate glances down at her phone, a small sigh slipping through her lips as her brows pull together. She reads over the address for the coffee shop he's chosen one last time before slipping her phone into the pocket of her jacket and starting up her car.

She's trying to convince herself that them becoming friends isn't a bad idea. That going for coffee isn't as scary as she thinks. They were neighbours after all, and getting along wouldn't be the worst idea. She only had a very few close friends, and they were all her colleagues. So, maybe somebody else in her life that wasn't in her line of work would be refreshing for her.

From their first meeting, she could tell that Rick was somebody who spoke so easily about how he felt and what was going on in his life – which was a change from how she is. She's closed off; finds it extremely difficult to reveal even the slightest bit of information about herself. But there was something different about being in Rick's presence. He was easy to talk too, and she felt like he wasn't judging her – or for right now, wasn't viewing her as a tragedy.

And maybe that's why she's scared of them becoming friends; scared to reveal the tragedies of her past because she's afraid that once he really gets to know her, he won't want to know her and that he'll start viewing her as some sob story, that he'll start walking on egg shells around her. She didn't want him to start looking at her in a whole new light. She hated the change in people's eyes when she revealed very deep and intimate things about herself. How a few words could make them start viewing her as somebody weak, or somebody trying too hard to be strong.

She was just lucky that with the few close friends she did have, that the line of work they were in meant they were used to such losses, so they didn't view her as some tragedy or a weak detective.

She swallows the small lump in her throat as she parks outside the coffee shop. She turns off her engine and glances at the time on her watch. _11.28am._ She does her best to shake off the nerves that are beginning to bubble up inside of her before she's exiting her vehicle and heading inside the coffee shop.

The bell on the door rings; announces to everyone inside that somebody new has entered. Kate glances around the modern yet cosy place; the aroma hitting her instantly and causing the edges of her lips to twitch upwards. If there's a smell that could make her feel so at ease – it was coffee.

"Kate!"

Her head snaps in direction of the familiar voice as she sees Castle occupying a table in the corner. His arm is stretched out above him, a wide smile across his lips as he waves her over and Kate sucks in a breath before proceeding in his direction.

"Hey, Rick." She sends a slight smile in his direction as she slips into the seat opposite him.

"You came."

"I said I would, didn't I?" Her brow arches as she lets her gaze lock on his. "And I believe I may have been promised some _very_ interesting stories." Her head cocks to the side as her hands come to tangle with one another while resting atop of the table.

"Hmm, I think I may have said that. Then again, I do have a pretty short memory." He shrugs, though a smirk is evident across his face. "Let's get the coffee's in first. How do you take yours?"

"Oh, I can get mine, it's fine."

"No, please. I did invite you, so, my treat. I insist."

She rolls her eyes, a breath of air escaping through her nostrils. "Fine. Vanilla skim latte then, please."

"Coming right up!" He taps his fingertips against the table before sliding out of his seat and approaching the counter.

It's not long before he's returning with two ceramic mugs filled to the brim with their orders.

"Thank you." Kate murmurs as the coffee is set down in front of her, and her hands quickly reach out, lifting the cup to her lips and letting her eyes fall closed as she takes in the delicious liquid. Anything was better than the stuff they served at the precinct. She's positive they only allow the bitter sludge because of how awake and buzzed everyone is after consuming it.

"So, let's hear these stories then."

"Well…" Castle pauses, putting his own cup down as he looks over at Kate. "I may have been arrested once…" He trails off, eyes tearing away from her and Kate's brows can't help but shoot up. She's surprised in only the slightest.

"You have?"

"Mhm-hmm. I may have… stolen a police horse… naked." He scratches the side of his head and Kate's brows pull together as her head leans in slightly, a laugh threatening to slip from her lips.

"I'm sorry. You _what?_ " Her tongue slips from her mouth, head shaking in the slightest as Rick lets out an airy breath. "How in the hell did you _steal_ a police horse and how did you even ride one – no, never mind, I don't want to know that actually." A chuckle can't help but slip from her lips as she takes another sip from her coffee.

"Quite a memorable night if I do say so myself." He waggles his brows before he's glancing down at his coffee cup. "But, enough about my crazy antics… why don't you tell me about yourself?"

"Oh, I definitely don't have any crazy stories like that." She chuckles once more, completely missing the fact that he was asking about _her_ , not about whether or not she had any crazy stories of being arrested. "Though, one of the crazy arrests I made – what?" Kate pauses, brows pulling together as she watches Rick.

"I meant, tell me about yourself." He shrugs, can see the nervous smile playing on his lips and a lump can't help but form in Kate's throat. "I'd like to get to know my neighbour a bit more. Like, why become a homicide detective? Most smart young woman from money usually become lawyers or something like that." His arms come to rest against the table as he props himself up slightly, his brows pulling together as he watches her intently.

He's been curious about her and her story from the moment she entered his apartment a week ago to ask if he was okay. There was so much to her, and yet he didn't know any of what there was to her.

"What makes you think I'm from money?" Her brows pull together tightly, gaze drifting down to her coffee cup as she swallows the small lump in her throat.

"Well, not to pry into your… financial situation. But the building we live in, it's not cheap, and I know a cop's salary can't be… that much." He chews on the inside of his bottom lip, still watching her.

She'll give him props to being observant, and she can't be _too mad_ about it – especially considering she'd observed him a great amount to notice the change in his mood.

"Oh, uh – well, the place is actually my cousins. I mean, she lived in it before I rented it. She put in a good word with the landlord and since I work with the law, they ended up dropping the price a bit." She shrugs, her index finger beginning to circle the rim of her cup.

She'd been evicted from her last place, and was in dire need of finding a new once. Her cousin had suggested the apartment she was moving out of, and although Kate had fallen in love with it, she also knew it was _extremely_ out of her price range. But, after a few phone calls and meetings, she was signing a year's lease. Of course she had to do some extra over time every now and again just to make sure she could meet the monthly rent. But she'd always been good with budgeting and keeping up with her finances, so keeping up with the slightly above price range rent wasn't too hard. She also stored away a fair amount of money in the back – just in case things went south, like they usually did every now and again. Not that her life went south, no, it was more her fathers. And she wanted to make sure that if she were to take care of him again, that she'd be prepared and not forced out onto the streets.

"The perks of working in law."

"You could say." Her lips stretch out to the sides, gaze flicking up to meet with Rick's.

There's such a softness in his eyes – something that makes her feel at ease, and she chews on the bottom of her lip as she contemplates diving in more about the reasoning behind her becoming a detective – the _real_ reasoning.

"I was actually studying pre-law at Stanford, but transferred a few months in." She swallows a little too hard, her foot tapping slightly as she tears her gaze away from Rick to glance around the coffee shop.

Rick's brows can't help but raise, lips gaping ever so slightly with the little information he's just received. "You were pre-law?" He's amazed, and also even more curious than he was before.

"Mhm. My parents were both lawyers. Wanted to be just like them." She laughs slightly, chewing on her bottom lip slightly hard.

"Why'd you transfer?"

She can't help but grip the mug as her teeth dig further into her bottom lip, and just as she's about to answer him her eyes take notice of something very familiar and she releases her bottom lip she'd held captive.

Her brows pull together; furrowing slightly as she sits back.

"Kate?" Rick pulls her from her trance and Kate blinks as she glances at Rick.

"Hmm?"

"You alright there? You disappeared on me for a second…"

"Oh, yeah. I'm – I'm fine, it's just." Kate pauses, head turning back in the direction of the woman that's standing at the counter and the familiar attire she's wearing.

"That woman over there… does she look familiar to you?"

Rick's brows pull together as he looks in the direction Kate's looking in. His eyes land on the woman at the counter and he lets his blue irises run up and down her, taking in the form fitting green jeans and the flowy white blouse with grey dots speckled across it.

"Uh… yeah? I guess? I mean her clothes look familiar." He's confused as he continues staring at her before looking back at Kate.

"That's exactly what I thought." Kate pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, gaze still glued to the woman.

"Am I… missing something here?"

Kate tears her gaze away momentarily to glance at Rick. "My victim – the one you found yesterday, she was wearing that _exact_ outfit."

It finally clicks for him why the attire looked so familiar and he does a double before looking back at Kate. "Okay, and?"

"And? That cannot be a coincidence."

It very well could be, but Kate and the boys hadn't gotten any further in their investigation then when they first found the body yesterday morning. If she didn't act on the small hunch she had, she'd never forgive herself. Even if it didn't lead her anywhere, there was no harm in following it up.

"Just give me a second." Kate mutters as she quickly pushes herself up from her seat and carefully moves across the coffee shop.

"Hi, excuse me, miss?" Kate calls out to the woman at the counter who turns to see her.

"Hi? Can I help you?"

Kate pulls out her badge, raising it in front of her. "My name's Detective Kate Beckett, I'd ju–" Kate doesn't get to finish her sentence as the woman before her bolts out the door.

 _She knew_ the attire was no coincidence, that the fact that the woman looked _freakishly_ similar to her victim wasn't anything.

Kate clips her badge back onto her pants before she's rushing out of the coffee shop after the woman. She glances both ways, sees the woman turning the corner and Kate quickly runs after her. "Hey, stop!" She hates it when they run – not that she's not fit, she has a very high stamina. But it just drags the process out.

She chases the woman down a dead-end alleyway, quickly pulling out her gun and raising it before her as the woman turns to face her, arms raising in defence.

* * *

He's been told to wait by her desk while she interrogates a suspect, and he doesn't mind. Is pretty content sitting in her chair while he takes in the surroundings of the precinct floor.

He's only ever been in holding, never actually seen the proper layout where detectives work. It's nothing like he would've imagined, but even better.

He likes the murder board that's propped up beside her desk with images and writings all over it. He takes in the images of the body he found and the crime scene as well as the very few and little details scattered around it and now – the image of the woman he'd watched Kate arrest.

It was a rush in a way, the scene that unfolded before him.

She'd stepped away from their table for a moment and he kept his gaze on her, but the second he saw her bolting out the door after the woman, Rick couldn't help but follow after her. He'd watched the two end up down an alleyway, watched Kate pull out her gun – which was way too hot and cool and something he'd only ever seen in the movies, and then take the girl in for questioning.

He tears his gaze away from the board, starts glancing around her desk and the edges of his lips can't help but curl upwards as he takes in the little knick-knacks she has. He reaches out, fingertips taking a hold of a family of elephants and he brushes his thumb over them.

"Put that down before you break it, Rick."

He hears Kate's voice fill the air, and he glances up, expecting to see some sort've amusement on her face, but instead it's dead serious and he swallows before quickly putting it back into its exact position.

"They're uh – very nice."

"Thanks, they were my mothers." Her lips twitch into a sad smile as Rick quickly rises to his feet, stepping away from her chair as she slips into it. "I'm sorry coffee got cut short."

Castle shakes his head, hand stretching out in front of him. "Hey, it's no big deal. Watching you chase after someone was pretty darn cool."

Kate smiles at him, shaking her head as she lets out a chuckle.

"So, is she a part of all of this? Did she murder your victim?"

Kate types a few things into her computer before tearing her gaze away from the screen briefly, her fingertips hovering above the keys. "You know I can't discuss any of that with you, Rick." Her brow arches high and he pouts, his own brows dropping and pulling together.

"That is so unfair – uncool." He huffs and Kate only smirks, turning back to her computer to type a few more things in before her partner; Esposito, is approaching.

"Got Ryan to look through Leah's messages and phone records, and she's definitely lying about not knowing who Leslie is."

"Are you sure? We went through Leslie's phone records, and there's nothing that connects her to Leah."

"Well, there's messages between her and a burner phone – which could be Leslie's. We're trying to track that down now, but there's also messages between Leah and an unnamed contact talking about making a deal with Leslie, and get this – where they planned to meet is where we found our vic."

"So, whoever this other person is, they all meet up to make this deal – it goes south and one of them kills Leah."

"Seems like it. I'm gonna go have another word from her with the new info we've got. Ryan's tracking down that unnamed contact and burner phone now. Looks like we're finally getting somewhere, chica."

He smiles down at her, and Kate feels slightly on top of the world as her teeth dig into her bottom lip, the edges of her lips curling.

Up until an hour ago they had _nothing_. They were at a complete dead end, and she knew that if they didn't have anything by tonight, or come tomorrow morning – then they'd have to put the case to the side, and that's the last thing Kate wanted to do.

If she couldn't find her mother's real killer and get justice for herself, she wanted to track down who killed Leslie and bring justice for her family.

"Ahem." Rick clears his throat and Kate's brought back to reality, blinking as she snaps her head in his direction.

"Rick." _Crap_. She'd forgotten for a moment he'd been standing right there when Esposito had approached her.

"Uh, Espo this is Rick Castle, Rick this is one of my partners Javier Esposito."

She nods between them both as Esposito shifts the folder to his other hand and extends the now vacant one in Rick's direction.

"Hey, nice to meet you man."

"Nice to meet you too." Rick takes Esposito's hand, shaking it firmly.

"So, how do you know our girl?" He pulls back his hand, head tilting to the side as he shifts his gaze from Rick to Kate.

"Oh, we're neighbours."

"Neighbours, huh? Tell me, is she a noisy neighbour?" Esposito smirks at Kate and she shoots him a look.

"Don't you have a suspect to be questioning?"

"Don't have to tell me twice." He shakes his head, a smirk still playing on his lips as he glances over to Rick and nods at him before turning and heading towards interrogation.

"He seems like a nice guy."

"He is. Anyways, I'm sorry you had to come all the way down here, but I really have to get back to work, Rick."

She sighs, turning her chair so she can face him more.

"No, I understand. Busy life of a detective. Plus, when Ryan – is he that small Irish fella? Comes back, you'll want to check up on those leads."

Her brows pull together as she shoots him a look. "Were you eavesdropping?"

"You two were standing before me, it was pretty hard not to."

She almost groans, but instead rolls her eyes. "Yes, I do have to do that. And you being here will only get in the way of that. So, please?" She tilts her head in direction of the elevator as she looks at him.

"You sure I can't stay around and help out? I mean, I can be very, _very_ useful."

"Oh, I'm sure. This is official police business, and we don't need a naked cowboy corrupting it." She hitches her brow, a hint of amusement evident in her tone and the edges around Rick's eyes begin to crease as his face softens, a small smirk beginning to wash over his lips as he shakes his head.

"You are truly evil, detective."

She shrugs, turning her gaze back to her computer. "Goodbye now, Mr. Castle."


	5. Chapter 5

Her body leans against the back of the elevator, her head resting against the metal contraption as her eyes fall closed, a small sigh slipping from her lips.

When they'd gotten the lead earlier today, Kate really thought that, that would be the big break in the case; and for a while, it was. But no matter how hard they kept digging or what direction they went in, they always seemed to hit a dead end.

Her captain had told them they'd have till the end of the week to wrap this case up, and if they couldn't – then it'd be tucked away into the archives and gather dust with the rest of the unsolved cases.

Kate didn't want that, she _needed_ this case to be solved. If not for herself and the so little justice she's received – then for the family of the victim. She'd spoken to the husband about the new leads and had seen how distraught and distressed he was; how his children cried for their mother and evidently it broke Kate's heart. She'd ended up sitting in her patrol car to take a minute or two to breathe, because she knew if she didn't then all the grief from her own loss would surface, and she needed to be levelled.

The elevator dings and Kate's eyes peel open as she glances down the hall of her floor, but as she exits and heads further down towards her place – a man is slouched beside her front door, his head dropped and fingertips busy with the device in his hands.

It doesn't take her long to realise _who_ the man is and her brows quickly pull together.

"Rick?"

His head shoots up, blue irises meeting green, and the edges of his lips curve upwards as he quickly gets to his feet, tucking his phone into the pocket of his jacket.

"Kate, hey!"

"What are you doing outside my place?" She almost laughs as her head tilts to the side, brows pulling together tighter.

"Oh, well I…" He pauses, gaze dropping from her as his hand comes up to the back of his head, rubbing at it slightly.

For someone who'd been sitting outside Kate's door for the past fifteen minutes and had been thinking about seeing her again the entire day, he was short on coming up with an excuse. As a writer, he was appalled with himself for not being able to come up with something so quickly on the spot. This was his forte, and yet he was stumped. But he didn't want to blatantly come right out and ask her about the case – the one thing _he knows_ she's not going to give up and talk to him about.

"You want to know about the case, don't you?"

He glances back up to see that her face has softened and the small smirk that's playing upon her lips.

He should've known she'd read him so easily.

The tension in his shoulder eases, a breath of air escaping through his nose as the edges of his lips curve up wide.

"That obvious?"

She nods, brows arching slightly before her eyes wander over him before settling on his face again.

"No Alexis?"

"Mother has her for the night."

She nods once more, lips shrewing to the side as she ponders for a moment.

It wasn't like her – to talk about her work ( on-going work for that matter ) to people she hardly knew, or to anyone that wasn't partaking in the cases she was working on. But Kate was _desperate_ to close this case, and a fresh mind wouldn't hurt.

She could always threaten him with her gun if he dared to speak about the case to anyone else.

"Have you eaten yet?" Her pearly white teeth reveal themselves and capture the edge of her bottom lip, pulling it into her mouth as Rick shakes his head.

"I was actually going to order some Chinese from that place a few blocks away…"

"Oh! Alexis and I _love_ that place. One time we ordered way too much food an–"

"Rick."

"Sorry, right, you were saying?" He laughs slightly and she shakes her head.

"You want to come in? Do a do-over for coffee getting ruined this morning?"

"I'd love to." He beams at her and she dips her head. "But, really. Coffee wasn't ruined this morning, if anything, the complete opposite. Definitely gave me some inspiration to write."

Kate's moved passed him already, her fingertips fishing through her bag for her keys.

"Your next Derrick Storm book?" Her brows raise as she grabs a hold of the key and glances over her shoulder.

"A fan, are we?" He smirks, as a twinkle appears in his eye and Kate almost groans, but instead rolls her eyes as she turns back to her task at hand and shoves her key into the keyhole.

"Don't flatter yourself." She murmurs. She'd never admit it to him, but she was very much a fan of his books. They'd been her mother's favourite, and after she'd passed; Kate had taken the small collection of books in her mother's study and read through them all – a way to feel closer to the woman who was now gone. Rick's books were the ones that stood out to her the most, the ones she reread over and over again. It seemed her mother had read them many times considering the edges of the books were starting to peel and the tops of the pages had creases from being folded many times.

She pushes open the door to her place, flicking on the light switch and letting Rick move past her before closing the door and locking it.

Rick takes in the places – it's much smaller than his, but it's definitely more filled and less modern.

There's a stairwell to the side, books running up along it and as he glances up he can see what appears to be a reading nook, a large window surrounding it that faces out to the city. It makes him smile, warms his heart.

He takes in the other surroundings as he watches Kate shrug off her jacket, tossing it on the edge of the couch and dropping her bag beside a large box with papers sticking out of it, which makes him tilt his head to the side and pull his brows together as curiosity washes over him.

Was it paperwork to do with former cases she'd worked, maybe on-going cases? Or, secret government conspiracy theories. Either way, her place is definitely one that has him wanting to know more and more about her.

She doesn't have a lot of pictures, which he was hoping she'd have – so he could see if she had any family, possibly a boyfriend or any pets. Instead knick-knacks were scattered throughout each shelf and open space.

Her place was cosy, but at the same time left you curious, and although he didn't know her that well; it seemed very much like her. He wanted to know the reasoning behind the paintings and where she got all the knick-knacks in her place. She was a very closed book, from the short time he'd known her, and he wanted to open that book and see the story hidden inside.

"You alright there, writer boy?"

Her laugh snaps him out of his trance and he blinks a few times to see her standing behind the kitchen counter and he's wondering when she moved from beside him to all the way over there.

"I like your place."

"Thank you."

"And, it's writer man."

She refrains from laughing, her teeth digging into the edge of her lip as she suppresses a smirk.

"Okay, writer _boy_. What are you in the mood for?"

He shoots her a look, though it's hard to take it seriously when a smirk is playing at his lips.

* * *

After the food has arrived, they settle on Kate's couch with at least a dozen boxes of Chinese food settled on her coffee table – mainly because Rick couldn't decide what he wanted, and Kate hadn't eaten all day, so she really could do with multiple choices and a stack of Chinese food.

She's chewing on some pork, her pulse beginning to thud beneath the cage of her ribs as she stabs at the food inside the box with her chopsticks.

"Hey, Rick… You write for a living."

"Indeed, I do." He chuckles slightly, his fork stopping in the box he's holding onto as he glances up at Kate.

"So, what do you do when you're at a loss? I mean, what would Derrick do if he kept hitting dead ends?"

"First name bases with my character, huh? And you say you're not a fan." He shakes his head and she shoots him a look as she shoves him lightly with her foot. "Well… I guess he'd start looking at it from a different angle, go back to the beginning and work over everything, see what he's missed."

"What if he's done all of that? What if each time he starts again or each angle he looks at he still keeps hitting a dead end?"

She watches him contemplate, sees him concentrating hard and the box in his grasp slowly lowers to rest in his lap as he leans back slightly.

"When you hit a dead end, you have to go back. It's like a maze. Each wall may look the same, but sooner or later they'll start looking different and you'll know which ends are going to take you to a dead one, and which one is going to take you the right way and get you out of there."

She chews on the inside of her lip, her brows pulled together and furrowed as she moves the pork around inside the box.

"I get the feeling we're not talking about Derrick Storm here."

Her gaze shifts, heat emerging across her cheeks as she stutters. "I-I'm–"

"No luck with the case?"

She sighs, leaning forwards to dump her box of food on the coffee table as she sits back and runs her fingers through her hair, a small groan eliciting her lips.

"You know I can't talk about that." But she wants to, she really needs help on this one, and she's ready to admit defeat.

"Well… what if you were to hypothetically talk about a case that wasn't going so well?"

That gets her attention, and she looks at him, ponders it for a moment.

"Okay… Hypothetically speaking then…"

She watches the pure joy wash across his face and how he follows her previous steps in placing his food down on the coffee table before he's sitting back and giving her his full undivided attention.

"Say there's this woman. A picture perfect one."

"There's no such thing as picture perfect."

"Hush." She lifts up her index finger and Rick closes his mouth, lifts up his hands in defence.

"Say this woman is the picture perfect one, that she doesn't have a bad bone in her body. Has never gotten into trouble with the law and everyone only ever has nice things to say about her."

"Is she married? Have kids?"

Kate nods her head, tucking some loose curls behind her ear as she pulls her leg under her body more. "High-school sweethearts, and two young girls."

"Job?"

"Flower shop owner."

"Maybe she delivered the wrong flowers to someone and they got revenge?"

Kate shakes her head, although they'd thought about that possibility when they kept hitting a dead end. But the attack seemed far too personal for it to be a complete stranger upset over the wrong flower arrangement.

"Her clients raved about her, and there wasn't any rivalry between her business and other flower shops."

"What about that burner phone and the lady dressed like her earlier today?"

"Hypothetical, Rick!"

"Okay, okay! Hypothetically… if you found a lady who looked like her and a burner phone on her, wouldn't that lead you somewhere?"

Kate sighs, her elbow coming to rest atop of the couch as her fingertips slide into her hair, her head shaking in the slightest.

"You'd think, but no. Hypothetically… we couldn't find who the burner phone was in contact with and although we'd found messages on this woman's phone with her talking about the victim with someone else, we couldn't find out who it belonged to. The phones either off or been permanently damaged."

"What did this hypothetical woman who looked like your victim have to say?"

"Well, hypothetically – not much. Just the usual, 'oh I didn't know her', and all that. Except they both went to the same high-school and were in the same classes. But she claims to not remember her."

"Oh, she definitely remembers her, why else would they be dressed the same? That's totally weird."

"You're telling me."

Rick's brows pull together tightly as he thinks over the information he's gathered from Kate and soon something clicks in his head.

"If I were writing this… the woman who was dressed the same as your victim, that wouldn't be just a coincidence. It also wouldn't be the big reveal. That would be a small twist in the plot to keep people hooked and wanting more."

"Okay…" Kate trails off, her brow arching slightly as she glances at him sceptically.

"This unknown person she was in contact with… if they were talking about meeting up and making a deal… say they didn't know what your victim actually looked like. Say they only knew of the description and what she'd be wearing."

Kate thinks it over for a minute, gaze darting around her lap as her brows pull together tightly, the veins in her forehead starting to become prominent. Her head shifts from the position of it being held up by her hand and she glances at Rick.

"You only make a deal with someone if you're going to get something out of it."

"Exactly. But what if that person didn't want to make the deal anymore? Or whatever was going to be shared, they suddenly didn't want to share it anymore..." Rick trails off, his body leaned forwards slightly.

"Unless you dress up exactly like them and make the deal yourself." Kate says, her eyes widening slightly.

"But you wouldn't be able to make that deal yourself if the other person was still around and could ruin it all for you."

"Unless you murdered them." The edges of Kate's lips curl upwards, her body leaned in and lips gaping as she stares at Rick.

It dawns on her, lightbulbs going off in her head and she pretty much jumps off the couch – which only startles Rick and makes him jump as he sits back, his hand coming to his chest to tame his rapid heartbeat.

"You're a genius!" Kate shakes her head, hands clasping together and pressing against her lips.

"Well, I don't like to brag about it." He smirks, shoulders shrugging and Kate's too happy to even shoot him a look or roll her eyes.

"Rick, I hate to do this to you twice in one day… but can we reschedule? There's somewhere I need to be…" She chews on her bottom lip, glancing at him as he smiles up at her and nods.

She would continue to sit around and eat with him, but everything is so fresh inside of her and she's completely buzzing. She needs to get back to the precinct and use the new ideas she has and see if they'll take her somewhere. Which she hopes they will, and with the good feeling inside of her; she has a feeling she'll be closing this case now.

"You can take some of the food home with you if you'd like." She nods down to the boxes and Rick glances at the multiple boxes, a small laugh slipping through his lips.

"I think I'll take you up on that."

He rises to his feet, picking his jacket up off the floor and putting it on.

"I'm really sorry about this." She's got her own jacket on now and her keys with her by the time they reach the door to her apartment.

Rick's got a bag of half the boxes and he turns to face her. "No, it's okay. I understand. Plus, I had a lot of fun. Even got more writing ideas."

"Those writing ideas better not include what we talked about. I have a gun you know."

"Ooh, that's hot." She shoots him a look but he only laughs and shakes his head. "No, no. I wouldn't talk about our _hypothetical_ case with anyone. It's safe with me."

She rolls her eyes, running her top lip over her bottom as she shakes her own head.

"Call me tomorrow, tell me how things are going?"

He looks so hopeful and Kate nods as she opens the door for him, lets him go out before her.

"I'll update you." She grins at him, switching off the lights in her apartment and closing the door behind her and locking it.

The least she could do with his fresh thoughts in her mind is tell him whether or not he was helpful and if it helped her close the 'hypothetical' case she's working on.

* * *

She works all night, calling in her partners in the early hours of the morning, deciding that they should at least get to sleep and come in with fresh heads. When they do arrive, they dive deeper into Kate's theory.

It's not long before new information is arising, and come lunch time Kate's making an arrest.

She gets to tell the victim's family they found the killer, hears them tell her thank you over and over with tears in their eyes.

She tells them that despite the loss, they'll continue to get through it. Something she tells each victim's family, but at the same time she's also saying it to herself.

She gets to head home afterwards, her Captain thanking her for her excellent work and telling her to go catch up on some sleep. She doesn't oblige, knows her lids are starting to get heavy and that she'll end up falling asleep at her desk with paperwork a mountain high if she doesn't go home. Which wouldn't help her rep around the precinct.

It doesn't take her long to get home, and as she enters the elevator she's reminded of the man who helped steer her in the right direction and a smile begins to form across her face as she pulls out her phone and dials his number.

"Kate, hi!" She hears from the other line.

"Hey, Rick."

"How's everything going?"

She can already hear the eagerness in his voice, and decides that she's far too tired to string him along.

"Good. Very good. I made a very interesting arrest today." She grins, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. "A hypothetical one of course." She quickly adds in, hears the small chuckle from the other line.

"You did? Oh my god, that's great! Hypothetically of course."

"Yeah it is. I just wanted to say thank you, Rick. You really helped."

"So, this is what it feels like to solve your first case, huh?"

"You didn't solve any case. It was just hypothetical, remember?" She muses, the elevator dinging and she heads out and down the hall towards her place.

"Alright, alright. But I'm glad I could be of assistance, and if you ever need help again–"

"I won't."

"Uh huh. But if you do, you know where to find me."

She uses her free hand to pull out her key before entering her apartment.

"Hey, we should celebrate!"

"We?" Kate's brows pull together as she closes the door behind her and starts shrugging off her coat.

"Yes! You, me and Alexis! Why don't you come over for dinner tonight?"

"Oh, Rick, I don't know…"

"Come on! It'll be fun. Alexis and I are making lasagna and we always make far too much. Plus, you owe me for bailing on me _twice_. And I think I deserve to know how this _hypothetical_ case got resolved."

She rolls her eyes, a small huff escaping her lips. "You don't make it easy to say no to you, do you?"

"Nope. So is that a yes?"

She plays with the hem of her shirt, staring at the hardwood floor of her apartment before a sigh escapes her lips. "Fine."

"Success! Why don't you come over say… around six?"

"Okay, six it is then."

"See you then, Kate! Oh, Alexis is gonna be so excited to see you! She keeps asking about the pretty lady in the elevator we met."

Kate shakes her head, slight head washing across her cheeks as a smile spreads across her lips. "She's too adorable. I can't wait to see her either. Bye, Rick." The slightest smirk twitches at her lips as she hangs up the phone, taping her index finger at it monetarily while she stares off into space. He was definitely something, and someone she was already finding it hard to say no to. Plus, his little girl was adorable and the first time they'd met she was filled with pure joy it couldn't help but radiate off of her, and Kate needed that.

She shakes her head, her smirk growing slightly wider as she heads towards her bedroom. She definitely needs to get a few hours of rest before she becomes a walking zombie. She wants to be fully awake when having dinner with Rick and Alexis.


	6. Chapter 6

The alarm she set prior to falling asleep blares, and Kate groans before her body is rolling towards the edge, her arm outstretching from underneath the covers and hitting the snooze button on her alarm clock.

She keeps one eye closed, the other peeling open as she takes in the time on her clock: _5:40pm_. She rolls onto her back and blinks a few times as she lets her sight adjust to the darkness that's settled in her bedroom.

She was thankful that Rick only lived a floor above her and that she only had to set an alarm for twenty minutes before she needed to be at his place. Her body had succumbed to sleep the second her head hit the pillow. She hadn't realised just how deprived for sleep she'd been, and she needed as many hours as she could squeeze in.

She shoves the covers off of her and pads into her bathroom to take a quick shower. Once she's out she slips into a pair of jeans, a purple sweater and ballet flats; a pair of shoes that's very rare to see on the young woman's feet. She usually went for something with more levels to it, but considering she was only having dinner with Rick and his daughter in his home, she wanted to be comfortable and as casual as possible.

She applies minimal makeup and dries her hair, natural curls falling around the frame of her face as she tucks them behind her ears.

By the time she's left her apartment and has slipped into the elevator, it's two minutes to six.

It's not till she's standing outside of Rick's door, her fingertips curling into the palm of her hand to knock on the door that the nerves start to bubble up inside of her. Her pulse can't help but pound beneath the cage of her ribs, the sound travelling up to her ears as warmth spreads through her neck.

It's rare that she gets nervous. She's stood in front of the toughest, most hardened criminals without batting an eye lid. But there's something so _personal_ about having dinner with somebody that she barely even knows – that she's known for only a week and had possibly three full conversations with. All she knows about him is that he's in the midst of a divorce and that he writes – one of those facts she knew before she'd even began talking to him.

She doesn't know him, and he doesn't know her. And yet, being in his presence is easy. She feels comfortable with him around and that scares her. It takes her awhile to get comfortable around people, to want to share things with them. And maybe it's the fact that his books helped get her through her mother's murder, or maybe it's the fact that she feels a little sorry for him considering his situation, but she wouldn't mind so much if the pair became friends. If coffee and dinners became a regular thing.

She didn't have many friends, and the close ones she did have she could count on one hand. Even if Rick was added to that pile, she'd still be able to count them all on one hand. Which makes her nervous for tonight, and a little afraid. Opening up to him means the possibility that he could view her as a completely different person. Start looking at her as if she's some tragedy or somebody who needs to be treated with care. She worked too hard to get to a place where she stopped viewing herself as such, she couldn't bare it if others began too.

She takes a deep breath, as her hand drops to her side, the door flying open after what seems like forever, but in reality, is only a few seconds.

Her brows pull together; furrowing as air stares back at her and it's not till her head drops that she sees the small redheaded girl staring up at her with a wide smile.

"Hi, Alexis!" Kate grins down at her, a hand lifting to wave as Alexis waves back at her before stepping back.

"Hi, Kate! Come in, come in!" She gestures, and Kate can't help but laugh as she steps into the apartment, her head lifting just in time to see Rick darting towards the two, an apron wrapped around his body.

"Alexis! What have I told you about opening up the door?" He's trying his best to sound serious, but there's a smirk playing on his lips as Alexis only grins up at him.

"To not open it to strangers."

"That's correct." He pokes her nose and her face scrunches up.

"Oh, so I'm a stranger now, huh?" Kate's brow arches as Rick glances over to her.

"No! That's why I can open the door silly." Alexis says, shaking her head before she's tugging at her father's apron. "Daddy, manners!" She says, pointing to Kate whose lips are pulled into her mouth as she stifles a laugh at the young girl.

"Yes, yes, of course, pumpkin." He shakes his head slightly as he straightens up and glances to Kate. "Hello, Kate. How are you this evening, may I take your coat?"

Kate's tongue slips from her lips, running along her lower lip as her brows begin to raise. "I'm not wearing a coat, Rick."

"Oh, right." He blinks at her, his eyes raking over her body as his brows pull together.

"Daddy, you're silly." Alexis shakes her head, the girl's brows furrowing as she heads off towards the kitchen.

"I see it's clear who the adult in the house is." Kate muses as Rick's eyes squint, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"I'll have you know that she keeps me very much in line." His head lifts, hand motioning as if he were tossing a scarf over his shoulder.

"Oh, I bet." Kate shakes her head, chuckling as the pair head towards the kitchen.

"I hope you're hungry! Alexis and I definitely overcompensated."

"It smells delicious, Rick." The spices from the kitchen only just hit her senses as she follows Rick into the kitchen, watching him lift Alexis up onto the bar stool before he's heading around the island and towards the stove top as Kate takes a seat next to Alexis on one of the bar stools.

"I didn't overcome – pen – overcom'sate." Alexis' legs dangle from the chair, her brows pulled together tightly as she struggles to get the word out clearly.

Kate can only smile down at the girl, an awe threatening to slip from her lips.

She hadn't been around many children, only the few that she occasionally dealt with if they were apart of cases, but even then, they were more guarded with grief overcoming them. They weren't as bright and bubbly as the redhead sitting next to her was.

"Dinner shouldn't be too far away. The lasanga and garlic bread have about five or so more minutes and the salad is ready in the fridge."

"You've truly out done yourself, Rick. You too, Alexis." Kate adds, making sure to not exclude the young girl whose frustrated expression has now disappeared, and in place one of content and innocence.

"Do you like lasanga, Kate? It's the only thing daddy's good at making."

"Hey!"

Kate's hand quickly comes up to her mouth, a laugh muffling against her skin as she watches Alexis sink in her chair, a small smirk playing at her lips as she bats her lids up at Rick.

"You're lucky you're cute." He squints at her, pointing the end of the wooden spoon in her direction and Alexis' tongue sticks out of her mouth, getting trapped between her teeth before she's looking over at Kate, waiting for an answer to her question.

"I do, very much."

"Me too! But my mommy doesn't like it, she says it's too many cards."

Kate's eyes widen in the slightest, her brows pulling together slightly as her gaze snaps to Rick, the pair both doing their best to refrain from letting out a laugh.

"Carbs, Alexis. Carbs." Rick adds.

"Right, carbs." A beat passes before she's looking over at him, her head tilting to the side. "What's carbs?"

"Nothing important, princess." Rick nods at her, and for now, it's enough for the four year old who simply shrugs at his response and looks back up at Kate.

"Do all mommy's not like lasanga? When I become a mommy will I not like it? Does your mommy like it?"

The questions roll off Alexis' pretty fast, and they're innocent, but Kate's face visibly drops – and Rick notices as he stands there and watches the two interact. He sees the way Kate tenses slightly, the way she swallows the lump in her throat and his brows pull together slightly. Confusion washing over him.

"U – uh, I'm not sure." Kate pauses, head nodding. "My mom loved it." Her jaw tightens slightly, brows pulling together. She hates how stupid she's being. She should be able to answer an innocent question about her mother and not tense up.

"Hey, Alexis. Why don't you go get the picture you drew for Kate?" Rick pipes in, his elbows coming to rest atop of the counter. He thinks the full attention from the four year old might be a little overwhelming for Kate and that a few minutes of breathing air would settle her.

"Okay!" Alexis beams, quickly sliding off the stool and heading up the staircase.

"Sorry about her. She can be a bit much at times."

Kate shakes her head as she forces the edges of her lips up into a small curve. "No, it's fine. She's good."

Rick nods at her, the pair staring at one another for a moment before Kate's shifting her gaze away from him.

"So… do I get to hear how you closed that 'hypothetical' case?" He was curious, of course. But he also wanted to shift the mood back to something lighter, and when Kate glances at him, a small smirk playing on her lips, he knows he asked the right question.

"Hmm, I dunno." She shrugs and he squints slightly at her.

"Would a glass of wine persuade you?"

"It might."

He turns around, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of red before filling them up midway and handing one over to Kate.

"Thank you." She murmurs, taking a small sip of the liquid that instantly makes her body feel warm as she sets the glass back down on the counter.

"So?" Rick's elbows meet the counter top, his chin coming to rest in the palms of his hands and Kate shakes her head at him, laughs slightly at how childlike he seems to look.

"Well, turns out your supposed theory of my victim being killed over a deal was right."

"No way!" His face lights up and Kate's smile can't help but grow wider as her teeth sink into her bottom lip.

"We dug a little deeper into the woman you saw me arrest and found _a lot_ of money in her bank account. We checked who it was sent from and it turned out to be the guy she'd been contacting from her burner phone. Apparently the vic and her were going to go into business together, but at the last minute my vic pulled out because she wanted to expand her family instead of her business. They'd ended up arguing and to stop her from leaving, she shoved her back and ended up colliding with the garbage. Her head split open so far down it was impossible to tell till our m.e had gotten her back to the morgue, but essentially that's what she died from. The stab wounds were staged to make it look like a mugging gone wrong." Kate's brows pull together tightly at that, another lump forming in the middle of her throat that she quickly swallows.

"Whoa."

Her gaze flicks to Rick whose eyes are wide, and he's leaning back from the childlike position he'd been in moments ago. His face scrunches up, gaze landing on Kate. "She could've avoided so much had she just called emergency services straight away instead of going to all the trouble to make It look like someone else had done it."

Kate shrugs, head shaking. "People do unimaginable things."

"You're telling me."

His tongue sweeps across his bottom lip before he's pulled away from the millions of thoughts running through his head as the timer on the oven goes off, and little footsteps come running down the stairs.

"Ah, lasanga's done!" His index finger raises into the air as he grabs oven mitts and pulls out the dishes.

"Kate, look!" Alexis comes to Kate's side, placing the piece of paper onto her lap as she beams up at her with wide eyes.

Kate's gaze drops to the picture in her lap. A variety of shapes and colours filling the page.

"That's you, me and daddy in the elevator. And you've got a gun! 'Cause daddy says you're a cop, and cops have to have guns." She points to the variations and Kate's face softens, her heart filling with so much joy that it's bursting, as her fingertips smooth over the picture.

"Thank you, Alexis. It's very beautiful." She grins down at the redhead who only smiles wider at her.

"Really?"

Kate nods at her, her hand lifting to tuck the loose strands of red behind Alexis' ear.

"In fact, it's so beautiful that I definitely have to put it up on my fridge so everyone can see it."

She watches the young girls face light up, the grin plastered across her face stretching right to the edges, and if Kate's heart hadn't melted before, it definitely had now.

* * *

Dinner's a breeze, the conversation effortlessly flying between the three and Kate doesn't think she's enjoyed such a night more than she has now.

She tries to help Rick clean up, but he has none of it. Instead forces her into the living area with Alexis, and her and the young girl sit in the living room, Alexis showing Kate the few toys that were scattered around downstairs.

After they've had dessert, Rick takes Alexis upstairs to bed, and Kate sits on the couch with a glass of wine in hand while she waits for Rick, telling her he'll only be a moment. But Kate's in a daze from dinner, her eyes taking in the surroundings like the bookcase wall while she waits for him.

"Sorry you had to wait. Alexis insisted on three stories, even though she knows two is the maximum."

Kate's hand lifts, head shaking. "No, it's fine. She deserves three after cooking such an amazing meal." She smirks, a twinkle in her eye as Rick shoots her a look with a smirk playing on his own lips.

He grabs his own glass of wine from the kitchen countertop before coming to join Kate on the couch.

"Thank you for inviting me, Rick. I really enjoyed myself. And thank you again for your help with my… 'hypothetical case'." She laughs slightly as he smiles over at her.

"Anytime, Kate. Alexis and I really enjoyed you being here. It's been a little tough since Meredith left, but I don't think I've seen her smile so much in one night than she has tonight. So, thank you."

Kate's heart warms again, her pulse beginning to pound slightly. "She's such a wonderful kid. I couldn't imagine Meredith not wanting to share custody with you."

Rick shrugs, taking a sip of his wine before placing his glass down on the coffee table and leaning back. "She loves Alexis. There's no doubt about it. But, Meredith is more of an aunt or a sister to Alexis than she is a mother."

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, head lifting to face Kate. "It's okay. Meredith and I, well – Alexis wasn't planned. We really rushed into things. I thought I was doing the right thing by marrying her, but it was the wrong thing." As he really thinks about it, he loved Meredith, but he wasn't in love with her. They hadn't known each other that long before he'd knocked her up. He proposed because he thought that was the right thing to do, and things seemed perfect – almost blissful. But Rick should've known it wouldn't last.

"When I found her in bed with her director, I'd been crushed. But I was also kind of relieved." He shrugs once more and Kate tilts her head.

"How come?"

"Meredith and I weren't right for each other. We'd barely known each other five minutes before Alexis came along. She was too engrossed with Hollywood and 'making it'. She wasn't interested in settling down and having a family like I was. We hadn't really been doing too good before I caught her. Our sex life was probably the only thing aside from Alexis that kept us together."

"Not to sound like a broken record, but I'm really sorry, Rick." She felt bad for him, he was a decent and kind man. Someone who's words and smile could really fix anyone's broken day. She couldn't know why this Meredith woman wouldn't want to be in his, or Alexis' presence.

"Hey, no. it's okay, really. But, enough about my sad and pathetic love life. Let's talk about you. As I recall before we got interrupted yesterday. I was asking why you transferred from Stanford and stopped studying pre-law?"

Kate's pulse pounds faster as she sucks in a breath – one that's louder than she intended and fills the quiet space between them.

"If that's not too personal, I mean. I don't want to pry… or overstep." Rick quickly cuts in, his brows pulling together as he hears Kate's intake of breath.

She shakes her head, brows pulling together and head dropping as her gaze fixates on her wine glass and her index finger slowly beginning to circle the rim of her glass.

"No, no. I mean, you've shared… _a lot_ with me. So, I can do the same." She shrugs, trying to convince herself more than him.

"I transferred after my mom died." The pounding in her chest only grows, it starting to ache against her bones and she can already feel the tears starting to arise around the rims of her lids.

"Kate… I'm so – so sorry."

Rick's shifted closer to her, his hand coming to rest atop of her knee and squeeze it lightly.

Her lips twitch, head shaking as her eyes fall closed.

"She was a lawyer herself, and I – I wanted to be just like her. Ever since I can remember I wanted to be exactly like her. She was… incredible in every single way. Always fought for the little people, you know?" She tilts her head and risks a glance at Rick, sees a soft gaze staring back at her. And although she can see the sorrow filling his eyes from what she's spoken, she doesn't feel judged, doesn't feel like he's viewing her any less and it makes her feel better, prompts her to keep going and reveal more to him.

She glances back to her wine glass, chest rising as she runs her tongue along her bottom lip. "She was murdered, stabbed in an alley way and just... left there." She feels Rick's hand tighten on her knee and she bites the inside of her bottom lip, her fingertips tightening around her wine glass to refrain from placing her hand on top of his.

"A… mugging?" His voice is quiet, like he's afraid interrupting will shatter her or have her running for the hills, but Kate only shakes her head and continues.

"They wrote it off as a random act of gang violence. But… god, it wasn't." Her brows pull together, tears beginning to burn the rims of her lids before one betrays her and slips down her cheek. Her hand quickly lifts to wipe it away as she sucks in another breath.

"After that, getting justice for people seemed more right than being a part of a corrupt justice system. Working in homicide I could make more of a difference, you know? Think outside of the box and put my all into it and make sure people receive the justice they deserve, unlike writing it off and wrapping it up neatly like they did for my mom's case."

His thumb began brush back and forth against her knee the second he saw the tear slip, and he'd almost reached out to wipe it away, but she beat him to it.

He hates that she's suffered, that she's had to endure so much and he wishes he could do something to help, something that could make her eyes look less heavy and dark.

He thinks she's completely remarkable in every way. The fact that she dedicated her life to getting justice for other people when she lacked getting her own amazed him, and he counts himself lucky to be in her presence.

"You're extraordinary, you know that?" His lips twitch as he squeezes her knee one last time and Kate's body vibrates beneath him as a laugh slips through her lips.

"Yeah, okay." She shakes her head, a look of amusement and slight bewilderment washing across her face. Because, extraordinary? That's not a word she'd use to describe herself. Not even close.

"No, I mean it, Kate. What you've been through… I couldn't even imagine. You're doing so much to make a difference and people need that. They need someone who's going to fight for what's right. And that's… incredible. You're incredible."

Kate's lips twitch slightly, her gaze landing on Rick and she slowly shifts her hand from her wine glass to lay on top of his as she squeezes the flesh of his skin. "Thank you, Rick."

He only smiles at her, and the pair sit there in silence for a while, his hand still resting atop of her knee, and her hand covering his.


	7. Chapter 7

She knocks on his door, and not even a second later its swinging open. Rick's out of breath but once he sees Kate on the opposite side, his face softens and a smile begins to spread across his face.

"Kate! Thank god you could make it. You're a _lifesaver!_ " He grins at her and she can't help but match it when he ushers her inside.

It'd been over four months since Kate had shared with him one night about the death of her mother, and ever since then, they'd grown so much closer. She found it easy to open up to him, even if she still held a few things back. But he was patient with her, and never pushed for her to open up to him.

Any free time she had, she usually spent it with Rick. Whether it be going for coffee, lunch, or being invited over for dinner or having a movie night; most times with Alexis being there. But Kate didn't mind one bit, she enjoyed the little girl's presence as much as she enjoyed Rick's.

Which is why she had agreed to babysit Alexis.

Rick had called her no more than ten minutes ago asking her if she could mind Alexis. He apologised for the late notice, but apparently his mother was busy with a show she was in the middle of working on, and the babysitter had cancelled no more than twenty minutes before rick had called Kate, informing him she'd been hit with the flu.

Rick was out of options and thought he'd have to reschedule the meeting he was having with Meredith and his lawyers, but luckily his daughter had reminded him about Kate. At first, he was hesitant, because although they'd grown closer and had spent so much time together – considering one another as close friends, he didn't want her to think he was using her. But when he'd called her up, she had said yes before he could even finish his sentence.

"Hey, it's no problem. I love spending time with my favourite Castle." She teases, her tongue sticking out between her teeth as Rick closes the door behind her and quickly narrows his gaze over at her, the teeniest of smirks playing upon his lips.

"Now that's just rude. I am wounded, Kate." His eyes fall closed, head shaking as his hand comes to rest over his heart.

Kate only rolls her eyes and chuckles before she's glancing around the loft. "Speaking of… where is she?" Her brow quirks, gaze landing back on Rick.

"Oh, she's upstairs getting dressed. Informed me that she's more than capable of picking her own outfit and dressing herself. She's such a diva, I think she gets that from my mother. Coffee?" He asks as the pair wander towards the kitchen and Kate nods as she slides onto the stool next to the island.

"Yeah, it's your mother who's the diva, Rick. Wouldn't come from your genes at all. I mean… how many hair products do you have again?" She smirks and he squints at her as he starts up the coffee machine.

"Is this pick on Rick day?" He shakes his head, starting to make Kate her coffee. "It's sure gonna be a long day if it is." A sigh falls from his lips and Kate chews on the edge of her lip.

"Hey, I'm only teasing."

"I know… just, Meredith is definitely going to drain the life from me today. And my money." He adds, another sigh falling though he quickly masks it with an airy chuckle. He turns around to place Kate's coffee in front of her before leaning his body against the counter. "Which is why I'm so glad you could look after Alexis, especially at such short notice. I just want to get this divorce over and done with, she's dragging it out as long as possible I swear." His brows pull together, arms coming to fold across his chest.

Kate reaches for the mug he'd placed before her and takes a quick sip before placing it back down on the counter. "I thought you came to agreement last month with everything?"

"We did. But then she decided she wanted something else, and thought that'd I was getting more – which I'm not. All I'm getting is Alexis, the loft and the house in the Hamptons. Which is what I'm fine with, she can take everything else. I really don't care If she bleeds me dry. I just want this to be over with so I can move on from it. And I want it over with before Alexis' birthday comes in a few weeks."

Kate's brows furrow, lips pulling to the side as her arm extends across the counter, her fingertips gently placing atop of Rick's hand currently resting on the counter. "I'm sorry you have to deal with this, Rick. You deserve more." She squeezes his hand gently, the edges of her lips pulling up into a soft smile.

The edges of his lips twitch slightly at Kate's hand on top of his and he turns his fingertips over, lets theirs intertwine before he squeezes their palms today.

"It's okay." He pauses, gaze dropping to their hands still intertwined. "At least I've got Alexis – and you." He adds, and had he looked up sooner he would've seen the way Kate's chest hitched; how her pulse sped up from his words.

Truth be told, if it weren't for Kate being by his side the last few months, he's sure he would've been completely miserable – probably gone crawling back to Meredith just so he didn't have to be alone with his thoughts.

Kate was different from anyone he'd ever met. There was so much to her that fascinated him, that had him wanting to just sit and listen to her for hours – even if it was about nothing. She inspired him. Had him hitting the keys so effortlessly that his publicist was telling him to slow down with how fast he was sending chapters out to her.

Having both Kate and Alexis in his life, Rick felt a fulfilment like no other. He'd be even more content if things moved further between them. But, he also didn't want to rock the boat – ruin the friendship they had between them, because Rick wasn't entirely sure if Kate felt the same, or if she only saw him as a broken man in the midst of a divorce with a young girl he could barely take care of. He tried to not let his thoughts run in that direction, mainly Meredith's voice ringing through his ears telling him that nobody would ever love him, that he wasn't good enough.

"Rick?"

He snaps from his thoughts to see Kate giving him a quizzical look and he blinks a few times before turning to see Alexis now standing before him and his brows pull together.

"Daddy, are you okay?" The young girl – now dressed in a pink dress with flowers, tilts her head and looks up at him concerned.

He quickly pulls together a smile – never being able to fake it when it comes to his pride and joy. He bends down to pick her up and presses his lips against her cheek as Alexis' face scrunches up. "Of course, I am. I've got you, don't I?"

Alexis' hands come to cup Rick's cheeks as she pushes them together. "You're cheesy, daddy."

Kate watches the interaction between the two, with contentment and awe – something that happens a little too much. She'll find herself with the duo and will end up getting lost in the beautiful relationship between father and daughter. It made her think of her and her father when she was a little girl – it made her miss those times so terribly; when things were so easy and full of love and life between her family.

"Now, you be good for, Kate. I'll be back around lunch time, okay?" Rick says, placing Alexis down on the ground and she nods up at him before looking over at Kate with a smile.

"You're always good for me, aren't you, Alexis?" She grins, and Alexis nods her head rather enthusiastically as she comes around the kitchen island to Kate's side and tries climbing up the stool positioned next to hers.

Kate reaches over to help lift the girl up and place her on top of it.

"Alright I should get going. She hasn't had any breakfast yet, you don't mind putting something together for her?" His brows arch and Kate shakes her head, glancing over at Alexis as she reaches out to run her fingers through the girls red hair.

"Not at all, I'll make you whatever you want, Alexis."

"Can I have cereal?" Alexis' hands come to rest on top of the counter, her legs dangling from the stool as she looks over at Kate.

"Of course, you can."

"You've got my number if you need me. I should be back around lunch time. Thank you again, Kate." He leans down to kiss Alexis forehead. "Love you, pumpkin." He almost leans down to kiss Kate's forehead as he passes her, but luckily stops himself and passes it off as him tripping on air – which Kate buys, and only raises her brows at him as she stifles a laugh.

He grabs his keys and wallet as he heads to the door, glancing over his shoulder to call out to the pair. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

"You mean, don't do anything that you would do." A smirk plays on her lips as Kate looks from Rick to Alexis, a laugh eliciting from the girl's lips.

"Ha ha, very funny." He rolls his eyes, a smirk creasing his lips as he shakes his head and takes one last glance at Kate and Alexis before disappearing behind the door.

* * *

"Alexis, lunch will be ready in five minutes." Kate calls from the bottom of the stairs and waits till she hears an 'okay' from the young girl before she retreats back into the kitchen to finish making the young girls lunch.

Her phone begins ringing while she's in the midst of finishing up Alexis' lunch, and quickly wipes her hands before glancing down at her phone to see Rick's name across her screen. The edges of her lips pull upwards as she presses accept and brings the phone to her ear.

"Hey, Rick. How far away are you? Lunch is almost ready."

She hears him sigh from the other end and her brows soon pull together.

"About that…"

Kate's tongue slips from her lips, teeth slowly digging into the flesh.

"It looks like this is going to go on for much longer than I thought…"

"How much longer?"

"Till about five."

"Five?!"

"I know, I know… Like I said this morning, Meredith is really dragging this out. You know she showed up half an hour late?" From the other line, Rick shakes his head, another sigh eliciting from his lips as he stuffs his free hand into the pocket of his pants. "You wouldn't be able to keep looking after Alexis for longer, could you?"

Kate chews on the edge of her lip, her hip pressing against the side of the counter as she contemplates Rick's question.

When he'd asked her this morning if she could mind Alexis for the morning, she'd jumped at the chance to help him out. She didn't have work, and wasn't on call till the afternoon. So, everything worked out perfectly. She wasn't worried about it because she knew he'd be back by lunch time. But now he wouldn't be back till the evening, and Kate was on call from midday till onwards. If she were to get a call about a body drop, she'd have to go in, she couldn't not. But she also couldn't take a four-year-old to a crime scene.

"Kate, you there?"

She swallows the small lump in her throat, her chest rising before exhaling. "Yeah – I can keep looking after her." The last thing Rick needed at the moment was to worry about somebody taking care of Alexis. She knew how much this divorce was getting to him, and she wanted to help in any way she could. There was also a 50/50 chance she'd get called in, and considering she wrapped up a case a few days ago, surely, she'd be okay.

"You truly are a lifesaver Miss Beckett."

"Anything to help."

Kate glances to the staircase as she hears Alexis coming down the stairs and she smiles at the young girl.

"I better get back, say hi to Alexis from me, okay?"

"Will do. Bye, Rick."

She hangs up after he says goodbye to her and she slips her phone onto the counter as Alexis comes round to her side.

"Was that my daddy? Is he gonna be home soon?"

Kate reaches out to the girl, her hand gently smoothing back her hair.

"Turns out your daddy is going to be out a bit longer than he thought. He says hi, but I'm going to keep minding you. Is that okay?"

Alexis nods her head, her face lighting up. "Of course! I like when you take care of me."

She grins, and Kate's heart can't help but melt.

"Why don't you go pick out a movie and we can watch it while we have lunch, okay?"

Alexis nods and quickly scurries off into the living room while Kate turns back to plate up their lunch.

* * *

They sat and ate their lunch on the couch while watching the movie Alexis had picked out – Cinderella. But no more than an hour into the movie and the pair had both fallen asleep.

It wasn't till Kate's phone started going off that Kate began to wake from the unplanned slumber. She yawns, her hand lifting to rub at her eyes as she adjusts to the soft sunlight filling the living room in the loft. It's then she feels something warm and heavy against her side, and as Kate looks down her heart can't help but burst with joy as she takes in Alexis curled up asleep beside her.

Her phone goes off again, snapping her from watching Alexis, and that's when Kate remembers what had woken her up to begin with. Carefully, she removes herself from the couch, replacing her body with a pillow that Alexis could curl up against before Kate headed into the kitchen where her phone was.

"Beckett." She murmured into the phone as she pressed it to her ear.

"Hey, Chica. There's been a murder." Esposito's voice fills the other line and Kate refrains from groaning. Because of course, on the one day she hopes and prays there's no body drop so she can take care of Alexis, there's a body drop.

"Beckett?" Esposito repeats into the line and Kate blinks back to reality.

"Yeah, okay. Send me the address. I have to make a pit stop at the precinct, but I'll be there."

She hangs up and quickly heads over to the living room where Alexis resides. Kate chews on the edge of her lip as she watches the young girl fast asleep and she hesitates before gently shaking her.

"Hey, Alexis. Wake up."

The young girl slowly wakes, her eyes fluttering open as she yawns and stretches out her arms.

"Is my daddy home?"

Kate shakes her head, gently brushing the strands of hair out of Alexis' face. "No, not yet. But, I thought we could take a little road trip? Maybe go see where I work?" She smiles down at the young girl, watches the smile that spreads across her face, and in seconds Alexis is sitting up and wide awake.

Before leaving the loft, Kate leaves a note on the counter for Rick telling him where she's taken Alexis. She would call or leave a message for him, but she also didn't want him to worry or to know that she'd been on call for the afternoon.

It doesn't take them long to get to the precinct, and once they've arrived Kate finds one of the officers on duty and gets them to mind Alexis in one of the family rooms.

"I'm not going to be gone for that long, okay? I just have to go do some grown up stuff. But Matt here is going to take very good care of you, and whatever you need. You just ask him, okay?"

Alexis nods at her as she settles in front of the coffee table where pieces of paper and colouring pencils have been laid out for her.

"Good girl. Why don't you draw something for your daddy? I'm sure he'd love that to come home too. Okay, I'll be back soon." She's hesitant on leaving Alexis, isn't sure how Rick would feel. But Kate trusts all of her colleagues and she's built up a reputation around the place that they'd all do anything for her and take care of anyone she needed to like they were their own.

* * *

She arrives to the crime scene slightly later than she would've anticipated. Lanie's kneeling beside the body, and in the distance Kate can see the boys talking to who she presumes is a witness.

"Hey, Lanie. What do we got?"

"Well look who decided to show up." Lanie smirks, and Kate rolls her eyes.

"I had to drop Alexis off at the precinct."

Lanie stops writing notes and glances up at Kate, a brow arching. "Alexis? As in writer boy's daughter?"

Kate nods her head, bending down to Lanie's eye level as she rakes over the corpse in front of her.

"He asked me to look after her while he sorts out divorce things. I didn't think I'd get called in." She shakes her head, a small sigh slipping from her lips.

"Well aren't you super mom today." Lanie teases and Kate shoots her a look. "Bet that'll get you brownie points for sure."

Kate rolls her eyes once more. "It's not like that Lanie, we're friends."

"You sure? Cause as much as I love my friends and children, I sure as hell wouldn't waste my day off to babysit a child."

"It was only supposed to be for this morning but he called and asked me to look after her for longer." Kate shrugs.

"Mhm hmm. I'm sure that's the only reason. Not like your face doesn't light up whenever you talk about him." Lanie points her pen at Kate who lets a groan fall from her lips as her hands place atop of her knees while she rises to her feet.

"Can we not do this?"

"Do what? I just want to know if I need to leave nights open to baby sit my future niece when you two have date nights."

"Who's having a date night?" Esposito adds in as the boys come to Kate's side.

"Nobody." She grits, shooting Lanie another look as heat starts to flare across her cheeks, her pulse pounding as her body tenses. "Can we please focus on the body at hand? Now, for the second time. Can you tell me what we've got?"

Lanie puts her hand up in surrender, and the boys share a look between each other before leaving it, deciding to not pry any further.

While Lanie goes on about the corpse before them, Kate's mind can't help but drift to Rick, and what things really were between them.

She found him attractive, there was no doubt about it. She also enjoyed his company and found him easy to talk too. She cared about him, they cared about each other. Plus, his writing had gotten her through some pretty tough times, but that didn't mean she _liked_ him in that way. She couldn't. He was in the midst of a divorce; his heart still mending from being broken. She'd only be a rebound, and he was the complete opposite of who she usually went for.

They were strictly friends, even if her heart pounded whenever she saw him or her face lit up whenever she saw his name come up on her phone, it meant nothing. It had to mean nothing. She wasn't stable enough for a relationship, she had things to figure and sort out and he was already a mess, they'd be a complete disaster together.

She shrugs off the thoughts now running round in her head, deciding to not let her mind travel to dangerous territory and instead starts focusing on the case so she can head back to the precinct and keep minding Alexis like she'd told Rick she would.


	8. Chapter 8

Slender digits move across the keyboard, hazel eyes speckled with green transfixed upon the computer. Kate's tongue moves along her lower lip before her teeth are sinking into the edge of the flesh. Her brows are pulled together; furrowing at the words sprawled across the screen.

She's in the zone, has been for the past fifteen minutes, she's trying to wrap up the last of her paperwork so she can get Alexis home before Rick returns. But the second she hears movement from beside her, Kate's fingertips come to a halt, her gaze snapping in direction of the young redheaded girl sound asleep on the chair perched beside her desk. Kate's face softens, the edges of her lips curling slightly as she carefully moves forwards and adjusts her leather jacket she's placed atop of Alexis to cover the young girl and keep her warm.

The red head had been a delight for her for the afternoon. Anytime Kate needed to head out of the precinct or into interrogation, Alexis was left with an officer, or Ryan and Esposito. She didn't seem to mind, and Kate was glad. If anything, she thought the girl would be bored out of her mind, but she could see that Alexis shared the same level of excitement and curiosity as her father did.

She keeps her gaze on Alexis for a few more seconds, watching as the young girl's chest rises and falls with each breath she takes before Kate is turning her head back to her work and continuing with what she'd been typing.

A few minutes have passed, and she's on her final paragraph, almost on the verge of being done for the day. But the clear of a throat behind her causes her to jump, her fingertips digging into the keyboard as her pulse increases. Her head whips round, lips gaped and eyes slightly wide as the brunette's gaze lands on the familiar man with piercing blue eyes.

"Kate?"

"Ri – Rick." Kate stutters as she quickly rushes to spin round on her chair and get to her feet. Her pulse only increases, the organ beginning to thump rapidly beneath the cage of her ribs.

"I got your note." He holds up the small piece of paper she'd left on the kitchen counter at the last minute. She had planned to bin it when she got Alexis back home and explain what the two had gotten up to that day, she hadn't intended for him to come back to an empty loft and nothing but a piece of paper with the whereabouts of his daughter.

She sighs, head shaking slightly as she swallows the small lump that's formed in the middle of her throat. "I'm so sorry, Rick. You wanted me to look after Alexis but then I got called in – and I-I didn't want to worry you so I brought her with me. I thought I'd get back before you were done, but well – clearly, I didn't. I only left her alone a couple of times, well no – she wasn't alone. She was with an officer and my partners whenever I couldn't watch her. But, I should've called – made sure it was okay with you." The words tumble out of Kate's mouth so fast she's barely sure what she's said, let alone if Rick understood any of it.

"Whoa, whoa. Hey, Kate. Slow down." Rick steps towards her, his brows furrowing as his head shakes. His arms reach out, the palms of his hands laying out flat against Kate's arms and she sucks in a deep breath.

"You don't have anything to apologise for." A slight chuckle slips from his lips and Kate's pulse starts to decrease, a normal rhythm starting to emerge.

"You're – you're not mad at me?"

"Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you, Kate?"

"Because you trusted me with Alexis and wanted me to take care of her and she spent half the afternoon with my colleagues looking after her?"

Rick smiles lightly at her, squeezing her arms before his thumbs begin to brush back and forth against her arm, which only causes her pulse to increase once more.

"I'm not mad at you, Kate. I'm very lucky that you and your colleagues could look after Alexis. Your work is important, and you managed to do it while still taking care of my daughter, so thank you."

She lets out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding, her face dipping as her own hands come to rest against Rick's arms.

"I should've told you when you rang me at lunch I was on call for the afternoon–"

"You were on call?" He cuts in, his head tilting to the side.

She nods as she begins to chew on the edge of her lip. "I didn't think I'd get called in, but a few hours later…"

"I wish you would've told me. Not that I'm mad you brought Alexis here, because it's pretty darn cool, and if I know my daughter, then I think she would've thought the same."

"Oh, she did." Kate laughs slightly before a sigh falls and she's stepping back, Rick's arms dropping to his sides. "But, I didn't want to worry you. You already had so much going on with Meredith, I didn't want you to have to worry about finding someone to look after Alexis for the afternoon."

The edges of his lips curl upwards and though he won't let Kate know it, her words certainly cause warmth to spread through his body and his heart to skip a beat.

"I'm touched. But – you shouldn't have to worry about that, or me." He shrugs and Kate shakes her head.

"Of course, I'm going to worry about you and your problems, Rick. We're friends." The word can't help but seem so foreign falling from her lips and she almost frowns at herself.

"Well then I'm very glad to have a friend like you, Kate." His eyes twinkle while a light shade of crimson begins to spread across Kate's cheeks.

She quickly clears her throat, head dropping as her hand rises to tuck a loose curl behind her ear. "Uh, she fell asleep about half an hour ago."

Rick takes one last glance at Kate before moving around her to glance down at his daughter sound asleep and his heart leaps. He gently removes the jacket he knows belongs to Kate and hands it to her before he's carefully scooping Alexis up into his arms.

"'lexis, hey. Pumpkin, time to wake up." His voice is soft as the palm of his hand rubs up and down the small girls back.

It takes a few seconds before Alexis' eyes are slowly peeling open and she's blinking a few times, adjusting to the light of the precinct floor before her fist is coming to rub at her eyes. "Daddy?"

"Mhm-hmm."

Alexis smiles, leaning back to take in her father before she's wrapping her arms around his neck. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, pumpkin." He glances at Kate over Alexis shoulder, watches her pulling on the leather jacket she'd used to cover Alexis.

"Did you have fun with Kate today?" He asks as Alexis head begins to nod, the once sound asleep girl now wide awake and beaming with enthusiasm.

"Uh huh! I drew you a picture, daddy! And Javi and Kevin let me have a donut! It even had sprinkles on it."

Alexis beams, pointing down at the drawing on top of Kate's desk.

Rick glances over to Kate, a smirk playing on his lips as his brow arches.

"My partners. They were looking after her while I interrogated a suspect. The sugar wasn't my idea."

"It's okay, Kate." Rick chuckles slightly, glancing down to Alexis who's grinning away.

"That's them!" Alexis points, her voice rather loud and gathering the two detective's attention. They both rise to their feet and head towards the trio and are soon standing in front of Kate's desk.

"Rick, you remember Javier Esposito, my partner. And this is my other partner, Kevin Ryan." Kate nods between the two and Rick frees a hand to shake both men.

"I do. And I should probably say thank you for minding Alexis."

"Hey, no problem. Anytime, man. She's a pretty cool kid, and very smart, right?" Esposito tilts his head to the side, his gaze dropping to Alexis who smiles widely at him, the girls head nodding up and down.

"Yeah, she could definitely give us a run for our money." Ryan leans forwards to tap Alexis nose and her face scrunches as she leans back into Rick.

"Well, I'm done for the day, and I may have promised Alexis earlier I'd take you two out for pizza." Kate's lips stretch out as she chews on the edge of her lip once more, her gaze landing on Rick.

"Oh, I could definitely go for some pizza right about now. Are you hungry, Alexis? Or did all those sprinkles fill you up, hmm?" He grins down at his daughter.

"Sprinkles can't fill you up!" She shakes her head as Rick begins to tickle her and she squirms in his arms. "Stop, daddy! Kate, help!" Alexis splutters and Kate laughs lightly as she steps forward and only helps Rick in tickling the young girl.

"You betrayed me!" She pouts, arms coming to fold across her chest and Kate only smiles down at her.

"I'm very sorry. How about I make it up to you with that pizza I promised?" Kate laughs as Alexis' face lights up, and her head nods.

"Isn't this all domestic. When's the wedding and family photos?" Esposito murmurs under his breath while Ryan snickers beside him.

"Huh?" Rick tears his gaze away from Alexis to land on Esposito, his brows arching.

"Oh, well I said–"

"That he has paperwork to be doing. Both of them, don't you." Kate quickly cuts in, her tone rather sharp as she shoots the boys a look. Her pulse pounds, her cheeks going bright red – and she's glad the lighting in the precinct doesn't show just how red she's gone.

Rick watches the exchange, confusion starting to wash across his face and he looks between Kate and the detectives.

"Uh, yeah. We better get that finished so we can head out." Esposito nods and clears his throat as him and Ryan say goodbye to Alexis before heading back to their desks.

"Well that was weird." Rick's brows furrow as he looks down at Kate who shrugs, unable to meet his eye.

"So, pizza?" She quips, beginning to head towards the elevator. "I know this pizzeria just a few blocks down."

* * *

They walk to the pizzeria, the night too fine to waste sitting in a stuffy car, as Rick had said. Kate didn't mind. The cool New York air felt good on her skin as the three of them walked the streets.

Once they arrived, they ordered a large pizza to share between them all, and while they ate, Alexis recited her entire day to Rick, who was more than pleased to hear every detail of his daughter's day.

Half way through dinner, their pizza almost gone and Alexis spooning ice cream into her mouth, Kate's phone begins to ring. She pulls out her phone from her jacket and the smile that'd previously been on her face from listening to Rick talk is suddenly dropping as she takes in her father's name across her screen.

"I – excuse me for a moment." She swallows hard, not tearing her gaze away from her phone as she quickly gets to her feet and moves away from the table. Only when she's out of ear shot does she finally answer. "Dad?"

Rick watches her in the corner of the room, sees the sadness and frustration across her face. How she paces back and forth and the veins in her forehead begin to appear. He's curious, and somewhat worried as he watches one too many emotions wash across Kate's face in such a short period of time.

He watches the call finish and how she stands there sucking in breath after breath before she's plastering on a smile that's all too fake, and he quickly snaps his gaze to Alexis so Kate doesn't see that he's been watching her for the past few minutes.

"Everything okay?" He asks once she slips back into the seat opposite him, and Kate shoots him that too fake smile she plastered on just seconds ago. It causes a frown to spread across his face and his heart to deflate in the slightest.

"Yeah, just work." She shrugs, the lie so easy rolling off her tongue. She averts her gaze to Alexis, unable to keep looking at Rick who's looking at her with such concern – because she doesn't want to dive into things now, not in front of Alexis, and not in a public place.

"Okay." He won't push it, has come to know that when she's ready to share things with him, she'll easily come to him. "I was just telling Alexis that as soon as she's finished we can head off."

"No, you weren't, daddy. You were watching Kate."

Alexis frowns up at her father, chocolate ice cream covering the lower part of her face.

Rick's adams apple bops, pulse skipping as he glances at Kate who raises a brow at him. "Uh – I was just seeing where you were going." He shrugs, brows pulling together as he reaches across to grab a napkin. "Let's clean your face, pumpkin." He says, beginning to wipe away the remains of the ice cream as he frowns down at his daughter for completely outing him.

Kate dismisses it though. Knows how curious Rick is, how he's always itching to know more about her. It's not surprising to her that he'd been watching her take a private phone call. It only makes her nervous though, and she hopes he didn't overhear anything.

* * *

They walk back to the apartment complex, and by the time they're in the elevator, Alexis is asleep on Rick's shoulder.

"Are you okay, Kate?" He knows he shouldn't poke or prod, but ever since her phone call her mood had dropped completely and things had been quiet the entire walk home. It seemed her smile failed to return to its proper gleam and as if her lips lifting was one of a struggle.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" She shrugs, giving him a slight look before looking back ahead.

"Because you've been off since that phone call earlier…"

He watches her stiffen and he carefully frees one of his hands from holding Alexis to reach out to brush his fingertips against Kate's arm.

"Whatever's going on, Kate. I'm here for you."

Her jaw tightens in the slightest, chest rising slightly as the elevator dings to her floor.

"It's my stop."

"Why don't you come up for a bit?"

"It's been a long day, Rick." She sighs, beginning to step forward but Rick grips her arm lightly, stopping her from exiting the elevator.

"Hey–" The shifting of his body from stopping her had caused Alexis to wake and he freezes while Kate's gaze drifts down to the redhead's eyes fluttering open and she squints from the harsh lighting of the elevator before meeting Kate's gaze and taking in the surroundings behind her.

"Are we home?"

"Just one more floor and you will be. But I'm at my stop now, Alexis." She smiles slightly at the young girl, pulling her arm away from Rick's grip to run her fingers across the red hair.

"Will you – will you come up and read me a story?" She yawns, rubbing at her eyes as she repositions herself on Rick's shoulder.

Kate chews on the edge of her lip, her pulse beginning to increase as she glances between Rick and Alexis.

"Your call." Rick mouthes to her, and Kate sighs, because although she just wants to escape to her apartment and deal with the phone call from earlier on her own, she can't say no to Alexis – or let the young girl down.

"Okay. One story." She nods, stepping back to stand beside Rick.

She doesn't miss the smile that spreads across both of the Castle's faces, and although her mood has shifted, her heart can't help but beat fast from the reactions.

* * *

She ends up reading Alexis two stories, and promises to take her back to the precinct another day if it's okay with her dad since she enjoyed it so much. She waits till the young girl is sound asleep before carefully exiting the room and heading down the stairs to the open living space.

She stops at the end of the stairs, glances round to see Rick perched on the couch, his computer in his lap and his fingers typing away aimlessly.

She smiles lightly, watches him for a few minutes before a sigh slips from her lips and she carefully moves towards him.

He notices her out of the corner of his eye and when she sits down next to him, he closes his laptop and places it to the side before giving her his full undivided attention.

She's tucked her legs under her body and he watches her chew on the edge of her lip while she plays with the tips of her fingernails.

"The call before was my dad." She pauses, glances up to see Rick staring at her, waiting for her to continue. Her gaze drops down to her hands momentarily before her eyes are falling closed. Her head shakes, hands coming up to cover her face as another audible sigh slips from her lips.

She hadn't ever told Rick about her father, had skipped out on the part about him being an alcoholic. Mainly because she knew letting Rick know her mother was murdered was already so much to deal with that she was afraid letting him know just how screwed up her life really was, that he'd think of her as a victim, or possibly not even want to be a part of her life anymore.

Ever since her mother died, she'd built up these huge walls around herself – too afraid to let anyone in for fear of feeling that same heartache again, because she knew all too well that she wouldn't be able to deal with that sort've loss again, and giving someone her heart – letting them know the ins and outs of her life, it was terrifying.

Rick's brows pull together in confusion and he shifts closer to her, reaches out a hand to place atop of her shoulder.

"Kate, what's wrong? Is your father okay?"

She pulls her hands back, lets them drop to her lap as her tongue sweep across her bottom lip, tears beginning to emerge round the rims of her lids. "He was drunk." She lifts her head to glance up at the ceiling and shake her head, an airy bitter laugh slipping through. "He got out of rehab six months ago, he was six months sober – and I thought he was doing fine, but..."

Rick's heart aches for her and he can't help the drop in his face as he shifts even closer to her, his knee bumping hers. His hand slides down her arm to rest atop of her hand and squeezes it tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Kate… Why didn't you tell me?"

She flicks her gaze down to land on Rick and the tears in her eyes burn. "Because I'm ashamed? I don't know." She shakes her head for what seems like the hundredth time, her eyes falling closed once more. "It's a lot. My life is a lot. It's a lot for people to handle, and usually me telling them my mom was murdered is too much. But telling them my dad is an alcoholic because he couldn't handle my mom's death is like the icing on the cake."

"It's not a lot for me." He shakes his head, squeezes her hand once more as he watches her head dip and a sniffle elicit from her. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Kate. You've been through a lot and you're still standing tall. And if people can't deal with that – if they can't deal with your life, then they're not meant to be in it at all."

Her head lifts slightly, and she sends a sad smile his way. She can't help the few tears that fall and Rick's quick in lifting up his other hand to wipe them away. Feeling his hand against her skin causes her pulse to rise and her eyes quickly fall shut as she leans into the warmth his hand brings. Her own hand lifts, fingertips wrapping around the wrist of the hand against her skin.

"You're too kind, Rick."

"I'm just being honest. You're extraordinary, Kate. You've been through hell and back and you haven't let it consume you. You're trying to make a change, and I for one think that's incredible. You don't ever have to feel ashamed to tell me anything. Like you said earlier – we're friends. I care about you, and I want to be there for you."

The edges of her lips lift, eyes opening as his hand slowly drops from her face. Their eyes meet, and as the piercing blue eyes stare back at her, Kate can't help but move forwards. She buries her face into his neck, inhales his scent that causes warmth to circulate through her body and her eyes can't help but fall closed as her arms come to wrap around his waist.

She feels his arms wrap around her back, the palm of his hand beginning to softly run up and down her back as he pulls her in tighter against him.

She's unsure if the rapid beating is coming from her heart, or his. But it only causes her to feel at ease for the first time since receiving the drunken call from her father.

She's never been an affectionate person, not since her mother passed. Having someone hold her was the same as opening up to someone – it was too much, it was giving them too much power to see her so vulnerable. She feared that once she got a taste of what it was like to have someone by her side that she'd never want them to leave, and almost always did everyone in her life leave. She didn't want another gaping hole in her heart and cold arms the yearned for faded memories of those she loved.

But Rick was different, he'd been different since the very first day she met him. And over the course of the few months she'd come to know him, she didn't mind him seeing her so vulnerable – didn't mind giving him small glimpses into her life. Which only terrified her even more.

"Thank you for being here for me, Rick."

"Always." He murmurs against the top of her head, and the word only causes a tingling sensation to run through her body, her heart thumping rapidly beneath the cage of her ribs. The edges of her lips lift wider as her face buries itself deeper into the crook of his neck.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for the late update, things have been a bit hectic! But I'm back to regularly updating now. I also hope you're enjoying this story so far!


	9. Chapter 9

"One grande skim latte with two pumps sugar free vanilla, and a bear claw." Rick beams, placing the steaming to go cup and pastry bag down atop of Kate's desk as he slips into the seat residing beside it.

"Thank you." Kate spears him a glance, the edges of her lips curling upwards as she reaches for the styrofoam cup and quickly brings it to her lips and takes a large sip that has her eyes falling closed and her body sliding back into her seat as she leans back. "Oh, that's good."

She'd been working nonstop for the past few days on an old case that was coming up for trial. She'd been prepping and doing so much paperwork she barely had time to leave work, which is why when Rick asked to meet up for coffee, he'd suggested coming to her place of work.

At first she'd been a bit sceptical; was unsure about having coffee together at her work, but the more he went on about the steaming cup of coffee and the decadent bear claw, Kate's mouth was watering and she was immediately telling Rick to hurry up.

"If you think that's good, then you're going to _love_ the bear claw. It's from that Danish café a few blocks away."

Her brow arches as she places the cup down and reaches for the bag, pulling out one of the bear claws and tearing a piece off it. "A few blocks away? Rick, that's almost halfway up state." She shakes her head at him, though a smirk plays upon her lips.

Rick only shrugs, a light shade of red beginning to sweep across his face. 'Going up that far isn't too much trouble for you.' He won't say it, but he'll definitely think it.

"But it was worth the trip, wasn't it?" He waggles his brows at her, his elbow leaning on top of her desk as he watches her pop a bit of the pastry into her mouth.

She can't contain the smile that spreads across her lips as the flavours burst through her mouth, and all she can do is nod her head at him and tear off another piece from the bear claw.

"So, have you spoken to your dad since he called?"

It'd been over two weeks since she'd gotten the drunken call from her father, something that probably wouldn't shake most people. But considering he was an alcoholic, it had shaken Kate up pretty bad.

A sigh tumbles from her lips, her teeth beginning to dig into the inside of her bottom lip as her fingernails drag through the icing covering the bear claw.

"I went to see him, but he tried to tell me that it was nothing – just my imagination." She pauses, placing the pastry down on the brown paper bag and bringing her fingertips to her mouth. "He failed to rid the dozen bottles of beer behind the couch." She shakes her head, riding the icing off her fingertips.

"I'm sorry, Kate."

She shakes her head once more, her gaze coming to land on Rick.

"It's okay. Well, it's not okay, but, what can I do? He doesn't listen to me, and he refuses to let me help him. It's as if I've suddenly become so unimportant to him. You'd think that I wasn't enough to make him happy." Her brows pull together and furrow, her heart beginning to pound as a small lump begins to form in the middle of her throat.

"Kate, I may not know your dad, but I do know what it's like to be one, and I can tell you this – your child is always everything and more to you. You'll love them till the very end and they'll always be important to you, they'll always be enough for you. And sometimes life won't seem so bad and they'll be the only thing that can get you up in the morning. But a broken heart – that's not something easily handled. Losing the love of your life isn't easy and your child may fill that gaping hole inside, but there will always be a part that's missing. A part that nobody aside from the one you lost can fill." He reaches out for her, his hand coming to rest on top of her arm as he watches her head dip, can see the tears beginning to emerge round the rims of her lids and he squeezes her arm.

"Your dad loves you, Kate. And maybe right now it may not seem like it, maybe it seems he's choosing his drinking over you. But, maybe he's a little lost as well and is having trouble trying to adjust to living life without your mom. He looks at you and sees someone with their whole life ahead of them, and then he looks at himself and sees he's already lived half of his life and the one person he spent that with, who he thought would always be by his side is now gone." He stops, tongue sweeping across his bottom lip as his thumb gently brushes back and forth against Kate's bare arm.

"He needs you now more than ever, Kate. But you don't have to do any of it alone. You may have to be strong with him, but you don't have to always be strong with me."

His words seem to flow so naturally, like a lullaby Kate could fall asleep to. So soothing and relaxing; a sense of tranquillity. Nobody's ever had such an effect on her and it gets to her, it really does. She hates getting emotional, hates people seeing her so vulnerable – especially considering they were sitting at her desk in the middle of the ballpit. But his words hit her hard – she hadn't realised just how desperate she'd been to hear the things he's said.

A few tears slip down her cheeks and she lets them fall, allows herself to feel the emotions that are washing across her as Rick's thumb gently runs back and forth across the skin of her arm.

Her chest rises and she sucks in a breath before letting it out and raising her hand to wipe away the tears that had fallen. She laughs slightly, her gaze snapping to land on Rick who's looking at her with so much comfort and warmth in his eyes she almost never wants to look away.

"How do you always know what to say?"

"I'm a writer. It's kinda my job." He shrugs and she rolls her eyes, shoving his hand away lightly. But she appreciates his words, and appreciates him trying to maneuver it back to a rhythm that's them – lightheaded teasing and fun.

"But really – anything you need, and I mean _anything_ , Kate. I'm here to help."

She smiles lightly at him and tips her head as she reaches across to squeeze his knee. "Thank you, Rick."

* * *

She manages to get off work at a reasonable time – mainly because her Captain decided she'd been running herself ragged the entire week because of this case and she deserved a night off to relax and recuperate.

She was planning to do just that – order some Chinese food and slip into a warm and relaxing bubble bath with one of her favourite books and a large glass of red. But then she'd ran into Rick in the elevator and somehow after their brief conversation and him telling her he'd dropped Alexis off at his mother's, she'd invited him back to her apartment for dinner.

So now, here they sat on her couch in her living room with multiple boxes of Chinese food between them. It became a somewhat regular occurrence for them. To order Chinese and sit on her couch chatting away about anything and everything.

"I promise I can cook."

"Uh huh." He smirks, though he doesn't doubt she can, she seems to excel in most things. "I'm sure you're not as bad as my mother. Let's just say… nothing is edible if she's in the kitchen – oh, and you should have a fire extinguisher on hand."

They both can't help but laugh, and Kate shakes her head slightly.

"I get it though. You don't have as much time to prep and cook for a meal as I do. Which, isn't a bad thing. I'm not – I don't mean it in a bad way." He frowns and Kate smirks at him, her brow arching as her head tilts to the side. "I just mean – you're busy saving the world, I doubt you'd want to come home and cook a four-course meal, let alone for just one person. So, I understand ordering takeout. It's the easy and fast option." He shrugs, shovelling his fork around in the box of rice he's just picked up.

"I'm better at making breakfast than I am dinner." She shrugs and reaches for her glass of wine.

"Breakfast, huh?"

She nods at him, a small smile tugging at her lips as she digs her teeth into her bottom lip. "Every Sunday my mom would cook up a storm in the kitchen. Eggs, waffles, pancakes, bacon, fresh fruit – everything you can imagine, she cooked it up. My dad and I would come down and the entire table would be packed to the brim. After she died, well… I tried to keep doing it for my dad and I. of course, it wasn't as spectacular and great as she did it. But I like to think I do a good job." She shrugs, and Rick smiles lightly at her.

"I'm sure it's wonderful. And I hope one day I get the pleasure of your breakfast cooking."

Kate smiles back at Rick, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip and pulling it into her mouth as a small shrug leaves her shoulders. "Maybe, if you're lucky." She smirks and Rick's heart can't help but thump.

"You know, all my mother ever did was have me fetching aspirin and water for her every Sunday." He jokes as he watches the smile blossoming across Kate's face. "Your mom really does sound like a wonderful person though, Kate."

"Oh, she was, Rick." Kate's teeth slide through her lips once more, a happy and content sigh falling free. "You would've liked her." She smiles at him a little shyly, her gaze dropping down to her food.

"Well, if she's anything like you. I'm sure I would."

A light blush can't help but creep across Kate's cheeks and she's thankful the lighting in her living room is dim to hide the red surfacing across her cheeks.

"Oh, before I forget. You are officially invited to Alexis' fifth birthday party. She told me the other day that I had to invite you face to face since you live downstairs, and that sending you an invite in the mail would be silly." He pulls his brows together and shakes his head. "I don't know what she's done with my daughter, but I'd like her silliness back. Sometimes I think she's the adult and I'm the child."

"Oh, I have no doubt she's the adult and you're the child, Rick." Kate muses and Rick shoots her a look, though amusement is evident in his face. "I can't believe she's going to be five. She seems so much older and mature."

"Oh, you're telling me. It feels like just yesterday I was holding her for the very first time." He almost pouts as he goes over the memory in his head of a small Alexis barely longer than his forearm, a light array of red hair sticking up everywhere and blue eyes brighter than he's ever seen.

"So, you'll come?" He looks over at her with hopeful eyes and Kate gazes off for a moment, brows pulling together as she ponders, a smirk playing across her lips as she teases Rick with a long-awaited response.

"Of course, I'll come, Rick. I wouldn't miss it." She shakes her head at him and grins.

"Wonderful! She'll be so excited to know you're coming! It's this Saturday at one!"

Her face immediately falls when he tells her the time and what day it is and as he sees her face drop his brows quickly pull together.

"What?"

Her tongue runs along her bottom lip, a sigh falling. "It's just – this case I'm working on. We're working on it nonstop and I don't know if I can get away..." She chews on her bottom lip, sees the slight pout beginning to form on Rick's lips.

"Oh." Rick's frown becomes more evident and another sigh falls from Kate's lips.

She'd grown so fond of the little redheaded girl and she wanted to be there to help her and Rick celebrate.

"I'll see if I can get away. But, I don't know, Rick…"

He shakes his head, his hand lifting in front of him. "Hey, it's fine. Your work has to come first. It's important, and Alexis will understand."

"I promise I'll make it up to her."

"You don't have to, Kate. Really, she probably won't even notice you, let alone me there. She'll be too engrossed with her friends and all the sugar and presents she's getting. Besides, Meredith's coming into town – and Alexis is more excited to see her than she is for her actual party." He shrugs, but it's the truth. He knows that Alexis was already excited for her birthday, but the minute he'd told her, her mother would be flying in to spend the weekend with her, suddenly Alexis didn't care about her birthday and only cared about seeing her mother.

"Well, I'll just have to get her a kickass present to make up for me not being there."

"It can't be too kickass now. You can't outdo me, Katherine Beckett. That would just make me look very, very bad."

Her brow arches before pulling together in a squint, a smirk beginning to form across her lips. "Oh, challenge accepted, Richard Castle."

* * *

"Hold the door!" Kate calls out, rushing towards the elevator and as she slips inside thanks to the arm that stuck itself in the way of the metal doors, she meets Rick's gaze.

"Hey." She laughs slightly, head tilting to the side.

It wasn't that weird, them running into each other in the elevator. But it was weird sometimes to run into one another multiple times in a day.

"Hey." Rick gives her a small smile, and she can immediately tell somethings off.

"You okay?" She asks, brows pulling together slightly.

"Oh, yeah, fine." He nods, and does his best to muster up a wider smile. "What are you doing off so early, what about the big case?"

"I'm just dashing home to change then head back." She'd been working since four this morning and after an intense workout at lunch, Kate decided to use her dinner break to head home and slip into a fresh pair of clothes, rather than the extra pair of clothes she kept in her locker at the precinct.

"You don't look fine though, Rick." She chews on the edge of her lip, gaze darting to the numbers on the elevator slowly going up each level.

Rick sighs beside her and she glances back over to him.

"Got a call from Meredith at lunch… Turns out she can't make Alexis' birthday on Saturday."

"She can't make it?"

Rick shakes his head, hands slipping into his pockets.

"Nope. Apparently, she has an audition – one that's a make or break for her career." His tone comes out so bitter as his jaw tightens slightly and Kate reaches out to place her hand against his arm.

"I'm sorry, Rick. That's – well, that really sucks."

She'd never met Meredith, had only ever heard about the things Rick had told her – which didn't paint the nicest image of her. Any good things she heard about the almost ex-wife was from Alexis who seemed to talk about her mother like she hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Which only made Kate admire Rick even more for trying to shield Alexis from the not so good things.

"I just can't believe she'd let Alexis down like this. Cancelling to come visit her any other weekend I could understand. But her _fifth_ birthday? That's a big thing! You know what Meredith said to me?"

Kate shakes her head, still looking at Rick.

"She's going to have more birthdays, so it's not that big of a deal if she misses one. If she _misses one_. I can't believe she said that! Sometimes I wonder if she even really loves Alexis as much as she says she does." His head shakes, anger beginning to course through his body.

"The worst part is – when I told Alexis." He stops, eyes closing as his hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I've never seen her look sadder in her entire life. And she's had some pretty sad moments – when her pet goldfish passed away and when we moved just before Christmas and she thought Santa wasn't going to be able to find us." He rubs a hand over his face and Kate reaches out to stop the elevator as it almost comes to her floor. If Rick notices, he doesn't say anything about it.

"Each time Meredith has cancelled and I've had to tell Alexis, she's disappointed. But not as disappointed as she was today. She was so excited to show Meredith everything and share her special day with her." His head shakes, his fingers curling into his fists. "How could a mother not want to show up for their own child's birthday? Especially a fifth birthday! You only have one of those once."

She doesn't know what to say, has never been good with words. That's not her specialty and all Kate can do is grip Rick's arm and run her hand up and down it.

"Hey, she'll have you and your mother there."

"Yeah, but she sees us all the time. She barely sees her mother, and when she does – it's special for her. When I dropped her off at preschool earlier… she was so sad. I watched her outside the window for a few minutes and she just sat in the corner flipping through a book while all the other kids played outside. Completely broke my heart. I can't believe Meredith would do this… that she'd ruin Alexis' special day like this."

Kate's teeth slowly dig into her bottom lip before her lips are shrewing to the side and she's shifting her gaze to the ground, pondering for a moment.

She knew it may not mean that much, and she knew it would be completely difficult to get the day off to attend Alexis' birthday, but her Captain was always very understanding and willing to give her time off. She could always put it down to needing extra time to recuperate so she could give this case her all, and instead attend Alexis' party to hopefully put a smile on Rick and Alexis' face.

"Besides Alexis' broken heart, now I'm going to have no help fending off all the single mom's." He mutters, chuckling slightly, and Kate knows his sense of humour is always a defence mechanism – a way for him to process and deal with everything.

"I'll be there."

"Huh?"

"I'll be there to help fend off the single mom's." The edges of her lips twitch slightly as she looks over at him.

"But… your case?"

"I'm allowed days off, Rick."

"You can't, Kate… Your work is important."

"And so are you and Alexis."

Her chest can't help but rise as she sees a twinkle form in one of his eyes and she reaches out to wrap her fingertips around the bone of his elbow, squeezing it lightly. "I'll talk to my Captain, and then Saturday at one I'll be there." She smiles a little wider at him, sees a smile beginning to tug on his own lips.

"You know… I think that may just put a smile back on Alexis' face."

"Good. That's what I'm hoping for." She squeezes his arm one last time before turning back to the buttons and letting the elevator continue.

She stares ahead while Rick stares at her in awe an amazement. His heart thuds, a feeling he hasn't felt in a while starting to surge through his body, and he knows he's a goner. Probably knew from the first day he'd met her. But she never seizes to amaze him and he wonders what good he's done to deserve someone like Kate Beckett in his life.


	10. Chapter 10

"You really pick your moments, Beckett."

Kate swallows the small lump in her throat, her teeth beginning to chew on the edge of her bottom lip as she looks across the desk at her Captain.

"Sir, I know it's not the most convenient time."

"You're not wrong there."

Her brows pull together and she sits up a little straighter. "You know that I put 110% into my work, Sir. I've been working this case harder than anyone, and I'll still continue to work harder than anyone. It's one day, really only a few hours. I can still come in early in the morning and I promise I'll even be here bright and early come Sunday morning in that conference room. You know that I wouldn't ask unless it was important."

She can see Roy contemplating across from her. His gaze drops briefly, lips shrewing and hands coming to rest atop of his desk and Kate's pulse rises as her teeth sink further into her bottom lip.

She wanted more than anything to be able to get the day off so she could attend Alexis' party, especially considering how much in low spirits Alexis was, and after promising Rick she'd find the way to get the day off, she wasn't about to let either of the Castle's down – not after they'd already been let down by Meredith.

"May I ask why you're taking the day off?"

Her brows pull together, gaze snapping to land back on Roy, not realising her sight had trailed off and she'd been staring into space.

"I – it's a personal matter."

"Is it about your father?" His head tilts to the side and a sigh escapes from Kate's lip as she lets her tongue sweep out across her bottom lip, her head shaking.

Roy knew all about her father's bad habits – he pretty much knew everything about her past and the reason why she'd become a cop. He'd been good to her – too good to her at times.

"No, he's–" She pauses, not wanting to lie to his face about how her father was doing, especially after all the time he'd given her off no more than a couple years back when her father's drinking had gotten to the point of him almost landing in hospital. "He relapsed a few weeks ago. Has sworn to me it's the last time, but–" Her head shakes as she swallows once more.

"It's just really important I get Saturday off, Sir. And I normally wouldn't ask for time off – especially in the middle of a case, but this… it's important."

She's not sure how else to word it without completely word vomiting to Roy. It wasn't the easiest thing to explain – that she needed time off to attend a _good friend_ 's five year old daughter's birthday party because her mother had let her down and wouldn't be attending anymore. It didn't sound like such an important thing to attend too; nor did it seem appropriate to ask for time off to attend something just to put a smile on not only the almost five year old's face, but her father's as well.

Roy studies her for a moment, eyes slightly squinted as he slowly leans back in his chair. "Alright."

"Really?" Kate's eyes go wide, a smile threatening to bloom across her face.

Roy's head nods, a small smile starting to crease his lips. "So long as you're here early on Sunday morning and you continue putting a 110% into this case, then Saturday's all yours."

"Oh, Sir – I will, of course I will. This won't affect the case in anyway whatsoever, I promise you." She can't contain the smile spilling across her lips now as her hands come to grip the armrests on her seat, her body slowly starting to push itself up from the sitting position she'd been in.

"It better not, or you'll be doing Esposito and Ryan's paperwork for a month." A smirk comes in place on Roy's face, and Kate can only let the smile on her face break out into a full blown grin, because she knows having a few hours off won't affect her work in anyway shape or form, that she'd feel so much better about putting a smile on both the Castle's faces that she'd probably do even better in court than if she couldn't attend.

"Thank you so much, Sir."

He nods at her and she spins around on her heels, heading towards the door.

"Oh, and Kate?"

Roy calls out and Kate stops in the doorframe, glancing over her shoulder and raising her brow at her Captain.

"I hope he makes you happy."

Red immediately starts to surface across her cheeks, her pulse beginning to thump rapidly beneath the cage of her ribs as a small lump starts to form in the middle of her throat.

She wants to ask him what he means – ask him how he knew, but she shouldn't be surprised. He'd been a detective longer than she'd been, and he wasn't Captain for no reason.

All Kate can do is swallow the lump in her throat and spin back around, her cheeks flaming red as she quickly exits her Captain's office.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd almost spilled out a _yes_ to Roy's sentence, and something inside of her makes her giddy and nervous all at once.

* * *

She doesn't tell Rick she officially got the day off and that she'll be attending Alexis' party – mainly so she can see the pure shock of surprise on his and Alexis' face when she shows up.

A smile is stretched across her face, butterflies swarming around in her stomach as she grips the present in her hands.

She's nervous, and she's not exactly sure why she's nervous. She's attending a five year olds birthday party, there was nothing to be nervous about.

But even she knows not knowing the reason why she's nervous is a lie, and that the anxiety building up inside her stomach right now has a lot to do with the man she's grown close to over the past few months.

The elevator dings open on his floor and she needs to calm herself down, can already feel heat rising to her cheeks.

She can hear the music and loud voices from down the hall and she moves to the side as she closes her eyes momentarily and sucks in a breath, holding it for five seconds before exhaling. She repeats this a few times till she calms the nerves inside of her, and once she thinks she's able to move without wanting to throw up the contents inside her stomach, she approaches the Castle resident.

Her fingertips curl into the palm of her hand as she lifts it and knocks a few times on the door before standing back and adjusting the box in her hands.

The door flies open no more than a few minutes later, and before her in dark blue jeans and a plaid shirt is Rick.

"Ka – Kate?" It takes him a few seconds to realise it's her standing before him and she watches the wide grin that breaks out across his face as he takes her all in. "You made it!"

"Well, there's no way I could miss such an important day." She grins, her head lifting slightly and he can't help but look at her in such awe.

"Come in, come in. Let me take your coat."

He steps aside, allowing her to come in and as she does she takes in the mass amount of decorations scattered around the loft.

There's people dressed up; some making balloon animals and another doing magic tricks.

She sees most of the adults have migrated to the kitchen, a few eyes landing on her and she tries her best to not pay attention, instead moving her gaze back around the room, because she has nothing to be nervous about – a few parents and housewives shouldn't scare her.

"So, what's in the box?"

Rick murmurs, a smile still plastered across his face as he helps Kate take her coat off and the nerves ease a little, a smile stretching across her lips as she makes eye contact with him again.

"Why, afraid the present I got her is much better than yours?" She smirks, her brow kinking slightly and he squints, a smirk spreading across his own face.

"Oh, that I doubt. Nothing could ever top the hundreds of presents Alexis got from me."

She shakes her head at him, eyes rolling as he leads her towards the gifts table so she can place hers among the rest.

"Alexis is really going to be so happy you're here, Kate. Let me go find her and tell her, just stay here."

She's about to protest, but before she can he bolts off and instead Kate stares at the empty space, blinking a few times with her hand outstretched for the air.

She retreats her hand, lets it hang down by her side as she sucks in another breath and glances around the busy loft once more.

"Katherine Beckett?"

Her head whips round, gaze landing on an older woman with flaming red hair and Kate's brow arches. "Uh, yes?"

"Hi, I'm Martha Rodgers." Her hand outstretches, a smile sprawled across her face and Kate's brows pull together slightly, a somewhat smile creasing her lips as she stretches her hand out to grasp the others.

"I'm Richard's mother, Alexis' grandmother."

Kate's eyes immediately go wide and she grips Martha's hand.

"Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry." She laughs awkwardly, head shaking and Martha merely shrugs her off, her other hand coming to rest atop of Kate's.

"Oh, don't worry about it dear. I was merely going on a whim. Richard has talked so much about the _lovely detective_ he's befriended. And out of all the other woman here – you definitely don't look like a housewife."

"I – thank you?" She chuckles slightly, unsure if she should be flattered or not. But her pulse pounds either way at the mention of Rick talking about her to the other and Kate can't even contain the small smile that creases her lips.

"It's definitely a compliment, dear. Most of these women here seem to only be after one thing – that thing being my son, of course. But you on the other hand – I've never seen my granddaughter look so happy talking about anyone aside from her father."

Kate's pulse pounds even harder, a warm feeling starting to surge through her body and she isn't sure whether to smile or cry.

"She's a really great kid."

Kate slowly pulls her gaze away from Martha and glances around the room in search for the Castle's. It doesn't take long before her gaze lands on Rick on the opposite side of the room. He's bent down, a knee touching the ground as he speaks to Alexis before him – presumably telling the little girl who was here.

It doesn't take long before Kate sees Alexis' face light up and Kate's heart only grows, the pounding beneath her chest increasing as the smile on her face only grows wider.

She watches Alexis search the room, can see the excitement on her face and the frantic look of desperately trying to find her – and before long, the pair are making eye contact.

Alexis' face – if possible, lights up even more and the little girl immediately leaves the grip of her father, dashing across the room towards Kate.

"Kate!"

"Alexis, happy birthday!" Kate grins, almost stumbling back as Alexis' collides into her, small arms wrapping around her legs and Kate can only beam down at her before she's bending down to Alexis' level and giving the girl a proper hug.

"You came!"

"Of course, I came. I wouldn't miss it for the world." She shakes her head, her cheeks starting to hurt from how wide she's grinning as she watches Alexis pull back her head and match her own grin.

"Are you having a good party so far?" Kate asks, slowly lowering the girl to the ground, but Alexis only protests and grips her arms around Kate tighter.

"Hey, Alexis – c'mon, you're a big girl now, big girls don't need to be held." Rick steps forwards, about to take Alexis out of Kate's arm to free the woman from the five year old but Kate only steps back, an arm wrapping more securely around Alexis' back.

"Hey, who says big girls can't be held?" Kate raises her brow, titling her head slightly and Alexis only giggles, sticking her tongue out at her father who squints and tries to hide the smirk threatening to spill across his face.

"So?" Kate turns her attention back to Alexis who continues to grin up at her.

"I am! Better now that you're here though." She grins even wider, melting Kate's heart completely.

"Do you like balloon animals?" Alexis tilts her head to the side, brows pulling together and looking up at her so curiously.

"I do, very much. Elephant balloon animals are my favourite."

"Let's go get you one!" Alexis points her arm in direction of the man making balloon animals, having no intentions of leaving Kate's arms. But Kate doesn't mind one bit, she simply adjusts Alexis in her arms and carries her in direction of the man.

All nerves she had from before are simply gone, and even the stares from other parents don't seem to bother her, not when Alexis' is smiling bigger than she's ever seen.

* * *

The party soon flies by, everything going off without a hit. Kate even swears she sees Rick tearing up when Alexis blows out her candles, she teases him about it – light-heartedly of course, even though he denies it and says something about allergies, which she knows is a lie.

The entire party she'd spent either by Alexis' side, or in the kitchen sharing a drink with Rick and chatting away about nothing and everything. She also got to know Martha a bit better, considering all she knew was from Rick or Alexis.

After all the guests have left, Kate stays behind – tells Rick she'll help him clean up, despite his protesting and moaning that he was planning on leaving it and calling a cleaning service in the morning.

Martha's taken Alexis upstairs to get into her pyjamas, with promise that Kate won't leave without saying goodbye to her first.

"I'm really glad you could make it, Kate."

Kate glances over her shoulder, as she stops her task of cleaning up the remains of the ripped up wrapping paper.

"Me too, Rick."

"What'd you tell your boss to get the day off?" Her asks, coming around to her side and holding out the rubbish bag for her.

She shrugs, though a smile plays on her lips as she thinks about the last words her Captain had said to her.

"Just said it was a very important personal issue."

"He must really like you." Rick chuckles as Kate's face softens.

"He's good to me." She smiles at Rick before dropping her gaze and picking up one of the last boxes from the table.

"Hey – this is still wrapped." Her brows furrow as she glances down at the present she'd brought Alexis. "I got her this one." She turns to glance at Rick and he pulls his own brows together.

"Huh…" He mumbles, both of them turning around upon hearing Alexis and Martha coming down the stairs.

"Pumpkin you've still got a present here…"

"Don't chuck it out! It's Kate's! I wanted to wait to open it." She grins, scurrying over to the pair and happily taking the box from Kate.

Kate chuckles, glancing between the pair of adults before down at Alexis situating herself on the ground and beginning to carefully tear off the wrapping paper.

Alexis gasps, her eyes taking in the box's images and writing. She glances up at Kate rather quickly and almost squeals as she looks back down at the science kit. She's quickly rising to her feet and moving towards her father, showing him her present. "Daddy, look! Look what Kate got me! It's that science kit I wanted!"

Rick had already seen it when Alexis opened it, but he doesn't dismiss her excitement and instead bends down to Alexis level. "I saw! How lucky you are you." He grins at her. "What do you say?" He murmurs, running his fingers through her hair.

"Thank you, thank you!" Alexis beams, not able to take her gaze off the kit in her hands.

"You're welcome, Alexis." Kate laughs lightly, watching the young girl. "I remember you telling me you really wanted a science kit. I'm surprised your dad didn't get you one." She smirks at Rick who only shoots her a look.

"That's because the store was out." He mutters under his breath, a small pout forming on his lips.

"Oh, don't pout, Rick. Just accept that I'm the better gift buyer." She grins, teasing him as she pokes his shoulder and he folds his arms across his chest.

"Can I play with it now, daddy?"

"Not right now, pumpkin. It's bed time. But first thing in the morning, okay?" He turns back to his daughter, lifting her up into his arms and it's her turn to frown, a small pout forming on her lips.

"Hey, no birthday frowns." He lifts his hand, his fingers trying to push up the edge of her lips to form a smile.

"Can I at least open it and take a look inside, please, daddy?" She pouts up at him, her eyes going wide and Kate stifles a laugh watching Rick's lips stretch out, his shoulders deflating.

"Fine. But only looking, no touching." He places her down and before running off she takes a hold of Martha's hand, leading her into the living room.

"Come see with me, gram!"

Rick shakes his head watching his little girl before turning to find Kate putting her jacket on and his smile soon drops.

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah. Need to get an early night if I'm going to make up for having today off."

"Let me walk you down."

"You don't have to do that, Rick. Besides, don't you want to see Alexis open up her favourite present?" She grins wide at him and he can't help but smirk as he shakes his head.

"If Alexis is anything like me, she would've already started an experiment." He pauses, glancing over to Alexis already wearing the safety googles and Martha helping her into the lab coat. She glances over her shoulder and gives Rick a sheepish look. "I risk my case." He murmurs before turning back to face Kate. "Now, c'mon. Let me walk you down, make sure you get home safely. It's the least I can do."

"Make sure I get home safely? It's literally a floor down, Rick. And I'm also a cop." She shakes her head at him, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip, but Rick only shrugs at her.

"Alexis, Kate's leaving now, come say goodbye."

"Bye, Kate!" Alexis calls out, her eyes transfixed on the slime she's pulling out of the container.

"Alexis, don't be rude." He frowns, and Alexis sighs, placing the objects down and quickly running towards Kate and wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Thank you for the present, Kate, and coming to my party." She grins up at her and Kate matches it, her hand smoothing over Alexis' hair.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"It was nice meeting you, Katherine."

"It was nice to meet you too, Martha." She nods at the older redhead and watches the two head back into the living room before Kate turns to Rick.

"Ready then Mr. Protector?" She smirks at him and Rick places his hand against his chest, eyes falling closed.

"I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

Her head shakes, eyes rolling at him as the two head out of the loft and down to the elevator.

The ride down is silent, a comfortable silence nonetheless, but it's not until they stop outside Kate's door that Rick starts speaking.

"I want to thank you again for coming, Kate. I know you're in the middle of a big case and that it probably wasn't easy getting time off. But it really meant a lot to me, and to Alexis."

Kate smiles over at him, her heart starting to pick up.

"You don't need to thank me, Rick. You and Alexis are important to me. I couldn't let her be sad on her special day." She shakes her head slightly, brows pulling together, and she really can't understand Meredith not wanting to attend her own daughter's birthday. She'd only known Alexis for a short amount of time and was already so fond and attached to the little girl.

"Her own mother couldn't even give up something important to be here, and you could… You're incredible, you know that?"

Kate's head dips, heat starting to flare through her cheeks.

"I don't think I've ever met someone as amazing as you, Kate. You pay so much attention to Alexis, you really listen to her and make her feel so special. Her mother wouldn't even know she wanted that science kit, and Alexis has been begging me and anyone she sees to get it for her for months now."

Kate shrugs, warmth traveling up the sides of her neck as her pulse pounds beneath the cage of her ribs at such an ungodly speed.

"She's a special girl. You've got a really special daughter, Rick."

She lifts her head, sees a look in his eyes she hasn't seen before and her head can't help but tilt to the side.

"You're special too." His voice is so soft as he speaks and the pounding in her chest only travels up to her ears as she watches Rick take a step towards her, his hands coming to rest against the sides of her arms.

"And I am so lucky to even know you. These past few months… I don't know how I would've gotten through this without you. You really made… you made me see things so much clearer. You're so important to both Alexis and I, Kate."

He's closer than she ever thinks he's been and she suddenly isn't sure how to breathe anymore, all she can do is stare into the darkened skies in his eyes as he leans even closer to her. The only sound she really hears is the pounding of her heart in her ears.

"The day you knocked on my door… my whole world changed." Slowly he lifts one of his hands to cup her cheek, his thumb lightly brushing over the bone under her eye and somewhere in the back of her mind does Kate register that this isn't a good idea, but she also can't manage to stop the situation from where it's going.

"I'm so glad you knocked on my door. That I made so much noise you noticed it. Because had I not… we wouldn't be standing here right now, and you don't know how unhappy that makes me. The idea of you not being in my life – god these past months with you in my life have been everything, Kate. Seeing you, even briefly has made me so happy."

Her eyes are slowly falling closed as he speaks, tears beginning to emerge round the rims of her lids as her lips slowly part upon feeling Rick's forehead rest against hers. She feels his breath against her lips, and every nerve inside her body tingles.

The gap between them is soon closed, Rick's lips pressing against Kate's in a soft, yet slow kiss.

He's testing out the waters, trying to get a feel of how she likes to kiss – how their lips would work together, and as he slowly peels his lips off hers, he dives back in with more force than before that Kate can't help but gasp into his mouth.

Her hands immediately come to rest against his chest, her fingertips curling into the fabric of his shirt as her lips begin to move against his in a forceful, yet sensual kiss.

Both hands have come to cup her cheeks as he tilts her head back, bringing her body closer as his tongue pushes out of his mouth to nudge against her closed lips, and she doesn't hesitate in opening her mouth for him.

His tongue slips in, and it's unlike anything she's ever felt before. Most people whose tongue have been in her throat have always been rushed or uncomfortable, but Rick takes his time in exploring every inch of her mouth.

His tongue retracts and he surprises her in sinking his teeth into her bottom lip, to the point that she feels a moan threatening to bubble up out of her throat – and that's when she realises exactly what's happening – who she's kissing exactly, and before he can run his tongue along her bottom lip and soothe the bite he's made, she's shoving him back.

Her hand immediately flies to her swollen lips as she looks over at Rick with wide eyes.

The deep blue in his eyes have darkened, his pupils practically blown as he stares at her with such a daze.

She blinks at him, unsure what to say, or what to do.

Half of her just wants to grab him and continue what they were doing, but the rational side of her knows they shouldn't have done that in the first place and that she should leave quickly before they both do something else they regret.

"I…" Kate's at a loss for words, her chest rising as she quickly swallows the small lump in her throat. "That shouldn't have happened."

Rick frowns at her, taking a step towards her, but Kate simply takes a step away from him.

"Don't say that." He shakes his head and she can barely even make eye contact with him.

She doesn't say anything more, instead she pulls out her key and turns to unlock her apartment, but before she can go any further Rick is reaching for her arm and stopping her.

"Don't walk away from me, Kate."

She jerks her arm away from him, spinning round to face him. Her pulse is already racing, a lump starting to emerge in the middle of her throat, along with tears threatening to appear round her lids.

"Don't go. Come – come back to the loft."

"Why?" Her brows pull together tightly as she stares over at him.

"So we can talk."

She shakes her head, gaze dropping. "I have an early start, Rick." Her tongue sweeps out across her lips, running over her bottom lip his teeth had sunken into no more than five minutes ago. And already she hates him, because now she's never going to be able to look at her lips again without thinking of his against hers.

"Tomorrow then. Come over tomorrow."

She shakes her head, a sigh tumbling out of her lips.

"I can't, Rick."

"Can't, or won't?" There's a slight bite in his tone, and it does take her back.

"I'm not doing this with you, Rick. You're not… you're married."

"Okay, that is not an excuse you can use, and you know it. I'm separated, almost divorced. But I don't need to tell you that, because you already know all of that. You've known all of that from day one."

She chews on the inside of her lip, her fingers starting to fiddle with the keys in her hands.

"I like you a lot, Kate."

"No, you don't." She replies almost immediately and he looks at her with more confusement than before. "You don't like me, Rick. Not in that way. You like that I'm good to your daughter, that I have a cool job. But, you don't like me."

"How could you even say that? I don't like you because you're good to Alexis, or because you have a cool job. I like you for you, Kate."

She's too broken for anyone to like her. At least, that's what she seems to think. It's why she holds herself back from anything good in her life. She's been in relationships, plenty of them – but she's always had one foot out the door. Because she knows sooner or later they'll only ever view her as damaged goods.

And even though Rick's been understanding, a part of her thinks it's because he feels sorry for her. That he doesn't want to rid her simply because she's good to Alexis and could probably get him out of trouble with the law if he were to ever get into trouble again.

"You're still getting over Meredith, a-and I won't be your rebound."

She turns, pushing open her apartment door and closing it behind her before Rick can even open his mouth and respond.


	11. Chapter 11

His mood had immediately dampered after Kate had disappeared behind her apartment door. The kiss had been everything and more – unlike anything he could've imagined. The way her lips felt against his, he was forever hooked – he'd never be able to kiss another woman without comparing them to Kate.

But what he hadn't prepared for – even expected, was for her to freak out like she had. Throwing around the excuse that he was still married only made him confused, because she _knew_ the situation between Meredith and him.

He could understand where she was coming from by saying he was on the rebound. He had briefly thought about that when he first started to develop feelings for Kate. But as the feelings progressed, any doubt that Kate could be a rebound completely disintegrated.

She was different to anyone he'd ever met, and if he was being honest with himself – he stopped being in love with Meredith a long, long time ago.

If anything, Meredith had been a rebound for his heart being broken by his first love Kyra Blaine.

He met the redhead no longer than a few months after the woman he thought was the love of his life, left him. And it wasn't long till Meredith had fallen pregnant with Alexis, and Rick was proposing – trying to do the right thing.

Their marriage had been rocky for quite some time now. Rick tried his best, did everything to be a loving and devoted husband. But the spark they once had was no longer there, and the love he had for Meredith was none other than the love for being the mother of his child.

He'd only hit rock bottom after Meredith left him because of how badly everything had turned out. Catching her cheating made him think he wasn't good enough anymore, that there was something wrong with him that Meredith couldn't be honest with him about how she really felt. It may have seemed contradicting considering he only loved her, and wasn't _in love_ with her. But he'd been trying to keep them all a family.

He was mourning for the family he wished his daughter could've had, especially since his own upbringing hadn't been the greatest. Despite his undying love for his mother, he did yearn to have that fatherly presence and there'd always be a part him that wondered why his father never wanted to be in his life. He wanted Alexis to have both parents present in her life, to grow up seeing them be nothing but in love. He didn't want her to face the same difficulties he had.

He'd gotten over Meredith long ago, it just took Kate coming into his life for him to realise the difference between love and _in love_. He loved Meredith – there'd always be a part of him that did. But he wasn't in love with her anymore.

He'd been falling for Kate and his damaged heart was slowly staring to mend. He wanted things with her to progress to something more than just a friendship, and with all the signals he'd been receiving – how she was slowly letting him into her life and know bits and pieces about her and her past, he thought the feelings were reciprocated.

He thought that right up until she'd freaked out on him.

He gives her a few days, mainly because he knows she has an important case to focus on, and that way when she's finished with it; she won't be able to use it as an excuse to not talk to him.

He travels down to her floor on Tuesday afternoon – knowing fully well that Kate's case was running till Monday, and if he was correct – then her Captain would've most likely given her the day off to rest and recuperate before diving into a new case.

He hopes he's right, because he doesn't want to go down to her place of work and make her think he's invading her space. He wants to approach her in a way that won't have her running from him, because he's not about to give up on her or let her believe she isn't worthy of love and happiness.

He stops in front of her door and sucks in a breath, his knuckles coming to collide with the door and a few minutes later he hears shuffling from the other side.

His heart pounds, his adams apple bopping in his throat as the door slowly opens and a half-asleep Kate Beckett appears before him.

She's in an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants with her hair up in a messy bun. Her lids are half open and as she yawns, the edges of Rick's lips can't help but crease up into a wide smile – because he doesn't think she's ever looked so adorable and beautiful all rolled into one.

He watches the realisation wash across her face as she wakes up more and comes to realise who's standing before her.

"Rick."

"Hi, Kate."

Kate swallows the lump in her throat, her fingertips gripping the door as she moves towards it more.

"What – what are you doing here?" Her head tilts to the side, brows pulling together slightly as she tries to keep her composure.

"I wanted to talk."

"About?" She immediately regrets letting the word tumble from her mouth, because she knows _exactly_ why he's here and what he wants to talk about.

A laugh slips from his lips, his tongue slipping from his mouth to run across the flesh.

"I think you know what I want to talk about."

She lets go of the door and folds her arms across her chest, shoulders shrugging slightly.

"What's there to talk about exactly?"

"Well, for starters – a lot." Rick sighs, a hand coming to run over his face before it's dropping to his side. "May I come in?"

"I'm not in the mood for company right now."

"You finished your case yesterday, right?"

She nods, gaze dropping to the ground and Rick's brows pull together, frustration starting to course through his body already – but he refrains from letting any of it show.

"Then we can stand out here and talk, I'm fine with that." He shrugs, hands stuffing into his pockets as he continues to stare over at Kate.

Her eyes fall closed momentarily before her head is shaking and she's opening the door wider and stepping aside. "Fine. Come in." She almost grumbles as a smile stretches across Rick's lips.

He moves past her and heads towards her couch while she closes the door then follows him.

He situates himself on the edge of the couch while Kate stands behind the coffee table, her gaze on him.

"How'd the case go?"

"Fine." She pauses and sits herself opposite Rick in the singular chair. "But you're not here to talk about the case. So, let's go this over with already."

"Get this over with already?" His head tilts, and he can't help but be offended in the slightest. "Kate, we kissed, and then you freaked out on me."

She doesn't expect him to be so blunt about it – expects him to beat around the bush, only subtly touching on the subject. It takes her back slightly.

"I didn't freak out on you, Rick."

"Yes, you did!" His head shakes as he runs the palms of his hands over his thighs. "What are you so afraid of, Kate? I like you a lot – and not just because you're great with Alexis or that you have a cool job. I like you for _you_."

"Please, just stop." Her voice cuts in and his gaze snaps to land on her. Her jaw is tight, gaze frowning at a magazine on the coffee table.

"No. I won't stop. I like you, and I know you like me."

"Is that so?" She almost snorts, her eyes rolling as they come to land on Rick.

"Yes, and you're afraid."

"Afraid? What am I afraid of, Rick?"

"That you like me. That there's something between us. That we could be great."

Her brow arches before her lids begin to squint. "Rick. You're in the midst of a divorce, and when we first met – you were a complete wreck. Drinking in the early morning – not having Alexis with you. So, excuse me if I don't believe you for even a second that I'm not some sort've rebound to you."

"You're not a rebound!" His voice raises, his jaw tightening as his fingers curl into the palms of his hands. "God – you're not a rebound, Kate. I stopped loving Meredith a long time ago, and yeah maybe if you weren't in my life I would've gone crawling back to her. But not for the reasons you're probably thinking. I would've gone back to her for Alexis' sake. To make sure my daughter had the family I never had."

His words make a lump form in the middle of her throat and she can't look at him, has to focus her sight on somewhere else. She feels for him, and hates herself all in one.

He was a genuine guy who deeply cared about her, but she had too many problems – so many issues unresolved. He hadn't even known her for a year – and already he had her figured out. He knew she didn't see her self-worth, that she was too afraid to let anyone in.

She hadn't thought about their kiss a lot – mainly because she'd been so swamped with work, that any free time she did had was spent eating or sleeping. She was lucky he'd kissed her at a time she was swamped, because that meant she didn't have to think about it.

Until now that was.

She was scared of what she felt for him – how she felt about him and where the two of them could go. She didn't want to lose their friendship, but she also didn't want to screw up being in a relationship with him. And she knew she'd end up screwing up sooner or later.

She always did when entering relationships. She never gave herself fully – always one foot in, and one foot out. It was the only way she could protect herself.

She had so much to work on before she could give her all to someone. She was too focused on the loss of her mother and striving to seek the justice she so desperately needed, that anything else came second.

She'd end up hurting both Rick and Alexis if they were to pursue anything, and she'd never forgive herself if she did.

"Just talk to me, Kate. Tell me what you're thinking. Don't shut me out – because I'm not going anywhere till we resolve this."

She shakes her head and sucks in a breath as she leans back in her chair and pulls her knees up and under herself.

"Why are you pushing so hard, Rick?"

"Because I care about you. I think you're extraordinary."

Tears almost emerge around the rims of her lids, because he's called her that word so many times, and yet – each time still feels like the first – still takes her breath away and has a smile threatening to stretch across her lips.

"But that's the thing. I'm not. I'm just an ordinary cop, a woman who lives in your building. I'm not anything special, Rick."

Her head lifts finally, gaze landing to meet with Rick and he looks so sad that she can't help but swallow and shift uncomfortably.

"You, ordinary? Just a woman living in the same building as me?" His head shakes as he rises to his feet and comes around to sit on the edge of the coffee table in front of Kate. "You're more special than you know, and you can't even see it. Which only makes me want to try even harder to show you just how worth it you are. We've only known each for a few months, but everything you do is incredible, Kate. How dedicated and determined you are in your job – how much you care and love other people." His head shakes once more and he reaches out towards her, his hand hesitating before resting on top of her knee and Kate sucks in a breath, but doesn't attempt to shift or move his hand.

"Why can't you just give this a chance, Kate? Why can't you give _us_ a chance?"

"Because I'll hurt you." She responds almost immediately, her gaze lifting to land on his as she chews on the inside of her lip, tears beginning to burn round the rims of her lids.

He will admit he's taken back by the blunt honesty, but he appreciates her giving him something.

"Or I could hurt you." He shrugs, his gaze travelling down to where his palm rests, and slowly he begins to move his thumb back and forth over the fabric of her pants. "It's true that things could end in a disaster. That you could hurt me, or I could hurt you. But how is that any way to live?"

His head lifts, brows pulling together and furrowing as he makes eye contact with Kate.

"You can't live life holding yourself back because you're afraid of the outcome – you'll just miss out on the magic and happiness life can bring you."

He hates that she's lost so much – that she's built herself to be this half realist, half pessimist.

He wonders what else she's held herself back from doing, from loving, all because she was too afraid of the possibility of getting hurt and having to suffer all alone.

"You can't live life because you're afraid of getting hurt, Kate. Because you will get hurt, it's inevitable. That's just how life is."

He watches her gaze drop, can see her swallowing a small lump in her throat and the tears that have emerged around the rims of her lids.

"I couldn't imagine losing my mother – what that would do to a person." His head shakes as his hand slides up her thigh to where her hands are and he's soon taking one of her palms in his own, intertwining their fingertips and squeezing her hand.

He's glad she doesn't tear her hand away and shove him off, but instead lets him grip her hand in his.

"But that doesn't mean you have to go through life alone, Kate."

The edges of his lips twitch slightly as his head tips while trying to find her gaze.

It's when she looks up that his phone begins going off in his pocket and he curses when Kate's hand pulls out of his grip and her body shifts further away from him.

He lets out a frustrated sigh as he pulls out his phone and sees his mother's name across his phone screen.

"Mother."

The frown across his face doesn't last long, and Kate watches as Rick shoots to his feet, sees the worried look that's sweeping across his face, and the next set of words have her own heart thumping loudly as she rises herself to stand beside him.

"What? Slow down – mother, what – what do you mean Alexis is _gone_." He doesn't think his pulse has ever pounded so loud and fast before as he's listens to his mother go on to him about how she'd gone to get something and left Alexis in her room for no more than a few minutes before returning to find the young girl gone.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming right now. I'll be up in a second, just stay put."

He hangs up, his head whipping to face Kate.

"Alexis is gone?"

He nods, swallowing hard as his brows pull together. "Mother said she'd left Alexis in her room alone for a few minutes and when she came back – she was gone."

"Has she checked the loft?"

"The front door was wide open when she went downstairs after checking upstairs."

"Let me get changed and I'll help you look for her."

"No, Kate, it's your day off–"

"Are you kidding me? I'm not going to sit here while your daughter is possibly missing, Rick."

She's dealt with cases before – missing children. It makes her blood run cold thinking about Alexis being lost – someone possibly having taken her. Kate tries to not let her mind wonder to the worst-case scenario – to the last case she dealt with where they didn't find the child in time. She refrains from shivering, from sharing that information with Rick – it won't do anything but heighten his fears.

"Okay, thank you."

He doesn't say another word before he's disappearing out of her apartment and Kate's quickly retreating into her bedroom to change out of her bedroom attire.

* * *

"She knows not to leave on her own – to not answer the door." He sighs as Kate and him move down each level searching for the redheaded girl.

They told Martha to stay put at home just in case Alexis comes back, and Kate insisted they search Rick's floor, before going down each, then checking the lobby and the basement, and if they had no luck – then she'd call her partners immediately and get them in to help.

They've gone door to door, nobody having seen the young girl, but promising to keep an eye out and let them know if they see Alexis.

Rick's thankful they live in a building that's safe and has multiple family's living inside, ones that have been here longer than he has and have spoken to or taken care of Alexis.

"Kids wander off all the time, Rick. Even the most responsible ones."

She tries to send him a smile, her hand stretching out to grip his arm. He sends her a weak smile that has her own faltering and her chest rising.

"Hey, we'll find her." She nods at him and all he can do is nod back at her before they enter the lobby.

"Eduardo – have you seen Alexis?" Kate calls out to the doorman and he gives the two a small smile, his head nodding and Rick's eyes widen as he rushes forwards, his pulse beginning to pound.

"You have? Where? When?" His words tumble out fast and the man is taken back by the tone and worry on Rick's face.

"No more than five or so minutes ago. She headed to the mailroom." He nods in direction and Rick's off on his feet, disappearing behind the door that Kate thanks the man before following after Rick.

"Alexis?" Rick calls out after shoving the door open and as he moves further in, he spots the flaming red hair in the corner of the room by a mail slot. "Alexis!" He's rushing towards her and scooping the young girl up into her arms that she can't help but squeal from surprise.

"Don't you ever do that again young lady." He huffs, his grip on Alexis tightening.

Kate walks into the room and her own pulse settles upon seeing Alexis breathing and safe.

"Daddy, put me down." Alexis squirms in Rick's grip and he carefully places the young girl down.

"Alexis, you know you're not supposed to leave the house on your own! That was very naughty." The stern voice is always something new for Alexis to hear, and a pout can't help but form on her face as she looks up at her father.

"No, don't give me that look. You had your gram and I worried sick."

"I'm sorry, daddy. I didn't mean to scare you…"

He shakes his head, his hands cupping his daughter's cheeks before smoothing back her hair. "What on earth were you thinking? What are you doing down here?"

"Mommy said on the phone last night I'd get the present she sent today and I wanted to see if it was here."

His heart twitches, his eyes momentarily leaving Alexis' to look in the _empty slot_ of their mailbox before returning his gaze back to Alexis.

"You could've told your Gram or I and we would've come down with you or checked for you. You're too little to go off on your own, Alexis."

He can't be too mad at her, even if she gave him an almost heart attack. Because she's safe and alive and in his presence and that's all that matters to him.

"I won't do it again. Promise, daddy."

He knows she won't, especially if he makes her punishment her not receiving a story before bedtime. Then she'll definitely know her actions have consequences.

"Come on, let's go make sure your Gram sent out a search party for us all." He laughs slightly, scooping Alexis up into his arms.

"But my present!" Alexis squirms as he moves her away and a sigh slips from his lips.

"I don't think it's come yet, Alexis. But we'll tell Eduardo that if anything arrives, that it be sent up to the loft straight away so you won't have to sit here and wait for it, okay?"

He watches her think about it, even though she really doesn't get a choice in the matter. But she soon sighs and nods her head.

He walks over to where Kate stands, sends a smile in her direction that she sends back.

* * *

"Were you worried too?" Alexis asks after they've left the mailroom and Rick has told Eduardo to send any packages that arrive straight to the loft.

"Of course." Kate smiles lightly, reaches out to tuck some of Alexis' loose strands behind her ears. "I'd hate for anything to happen to you. So, you make sure you always listen to your daddy, okay?"

The young girl nods at her and Kate flicks her gaze to Rick, sees the soft smile on his face that has her pulse skipping a beat.

"But not always everything, right? He's not very smart sometimes." Alexis giggles and Rick's jaw drops as Kate can't help but snort.

"Oh, yes. Not everything." She smirks, and Rick's brows pull together.

"First of all, I am hurt and offended. Secondly, I'm smart all the time." He lightly squeezes Alexis' sides as she only giggles more in his arms.

The elevator soon dings and the three of them move out of it and down towards the loft.

As soon as the door opens, Martha is in their face and taking the young girl in her arms.

"Oh, thank god! I was just about to send out a search party for you all."

"What'd I tell ya?" Rick mumbles under his breath and ends up receiving a look from Martha as she only holds Alexis tighter while taking her into the living room. "Hush you, I was worried sick about my granddaughter." She shakes her head as Rick watches her.

"Thanks for coming with me to find her." Rick says as he tears his gaze away from his daughter to look at Kate.

She shakes her head. "You don't need to thank me, Rick. I wouldn't want anything to happen to Alexis, she's important to me." She pauses, her chest rising as she drops her gaze to the floor and swallows the small lump in her throat. "Which is why nothing can happen between you and I."

"Kate…"

"No, listen to me, Rick." She's shaking her head once more before lifting it to meet his gaze and she feels guilty for the crestfallen look in his eyes.

"You and Alexis..."

She pauses, her tongue sweeping out across her bottom lip before her teeth are sinking into the flesh and her head is dropping.

"You're both too important to me and I'll… I'll screw this up like I screw everything else up."

"You can't be sure that you will screw up." He steps closer to her and she swallows as her arms come to fold across her chest and she looks up to meet Rick's gaze one last time.

"But I can be. Because I will, and I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you or Alexis."

He shakes his head at her, a sigh falling as his hand reaches out to place against her arm, but it's soon dropping to his side as she shifts away from him.

"No, no." His head shakes once more and he steps forwards again, won't have her leaving like she did last time. He reaches out once more; his hands managing to grip her arms and pull her towards him.

She looks up at him as her arms folded across her chest come in contact with his chest.

"Will you just – will you stop pushing me away and denying yourself of what you deserve." He almost growls, the frustration evident in his tone. But Kate only sighs and untangles her arms to place her hands against his arms.

"Why can't we just be friends, Rick? What's so wrong with being friends?"

"What's so wrong with being more than friends? What's so wrong in trying?"

He pushes, his gaze burning into hers as he watches her eyes fall closed and he takes this to lean in and press his forehead against hers.

His hand rises to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing against the bone under her eye as his voice softens to almost a whisper, her own breath hitching.

"Let me take you on a date. It's just one date. _One date, Kate._ Give us a chance… just, say yes."

He watches her chest rise and fall, feels her hands tighten against his arms and he _almost_ misses the yes that falls from her lips from how loud his heart is thumping that he has to do a double take as he watches her eyes open and meet with his.

He blinks a few times, his brows pulling together as his breathing becomes shallow. "Y-yes?"

She hesitates before nodding, her gaze flicking to his lips before back up to his eyes.

"Yes."


	12. Chapter 12

She stays for dinner, after a little convincing from both Rick and Alexis.

She's quiet throughout the duration of the meal – though she is polite and does her best to converse with the young girl and Rick's mother, not wanting to draw attention to herself in any way.

She does enjoy sitting there, watching the three of them be the family that they are. It makes her want this – all of this, despite the tight ache in her heart and the feeling in the pit of her stomach that she should run now before it's far too late.

After they've finished their meal, Kate situates herself on the couch – as per Rick's request, and watches him say goodnight to Alexis before Martha's taking the half asleep young girl up the stairs. He comes around after that, sitting himself beside her with a small smile plastered across his face that has her pulse skipping a beat.

"How are you doing? After that whole scare with Alexis today?"

She breaks the silence first, watches him lean back on the couch, his elbow digging into the cushion as he keeps his gaze focused on Kate.

"I'm – a lot better. I mean, it's not the first time she's gone off. She did it when she was three when I'd taken her to see Santa. I searched the _entire_ mall before finding her asleep inside a toy store." He laughs to himself at the memory, his head shaking. "But I'll definitely be putting a tracking device on her." He says it with such seriousness that Kate can't help but let out a breath of air, a small smile spreading across her face as she shakes her head at him.

"Now there's that smile." His face softens as he watches her teeth sink into the bottom of her lip. "You were quiet during dinner."

She shrugs, swallowing the small lump in her throat, unsure what to say to him really.

She's still afraid of screwing everything up, of not only hurting Rick – but his daughter as well. Nothing good in her life is ever easy, nor does it ever last that long. Which is why she's so hesitant in having accepted his offer in taking her out on a date.

Everything could go wrong.

But Rick's words were still ringing through her ears – that she can't stop living her life just because she's afraid. It hits too close to home, makes her think of her mother's voice inside her head saying similar words to her and she almost wants to laugh and cry at how the two share some similarities between them.

She knows fully well if her mother were alive and here today that she'd like Rick – would be pushing Kate to pursue something with the man and would be hounding her at every moment of the day till she did something about it.

"I was just, thinking."

"I gathered." His tone is light, a smile still across his face. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Her lips pull to the side as her gaze drops to her lap, her fingertips pulling at a loose piece of thread on her jeans.

"I just – I don't know if this date – if it's a good idea." She can't help but swallow hard, her brows pulling together and furrowing as she focuses her attention even harder on the thread she's pulling out, rather than looking up at Rick – afraid of the expression that'll wash across his face.

She hears him sigh, and her pulse pounds, her fingertips gripping the thread.

Rick reaches across, places his hand on top of her fingers playing with the thread and it forces her to look up at him and meet his gaze.

"It is a good idea, and I'll prove it to you." His gaze flicks to his hand covering her fingers and he runs his thumb along her index finger so lightly she almost shivers.

"When are you free? Because I want to take you out as soon as possible."

"It's a pretty busy time for me right now – at work, Rick."

"So, we have dinner at your apartment or the precinct if you're short for time then. First dates don't always have to be out at some fancy schmancy restaurant. It's more special and intimate if it's different." He shrugs, his hand not intending to move an inch as he keeps his gaze locked on hers.

He knows she's trying her best to back out of this, that the fear inside of her is trying to overpower the want – but Rick is nothing if not persistent, and they've gotten this far now; so there's no way he's going to back down now and let her give up.

"You really want this to happen, don't you?" She almost huffs, and Rick only smiles at her, turns her hand over and lets their fingertips intertwine.

"I do, and I know you do too. So, when are you free? I don't care when or how late. Just give me a day or a time and I will work my magic." His brows waggle and her eyes can't help but roll, a small smile threatening to spread across her face.

"Fine." She sighs, tearing her gaze away from Rick to really think about her schedule for the next week. "Since I took Saturday off, that's off the table. So, probably Friday." She glances back to him, sees his brows pull together and his head turn away from her as he thinks himself.

"This Friday?" He looks sideways as she nods before his gaze is looking back ahead of him.

"That okay?"

"How would you feel about the first half of our date being… a little more public, around a few more people than usual…"

Her brow arches as she stares over at him, confusion sweeping across her face as her lips slowly part, head tilting to the side. "What?"

"Well, Friday happens to be the launch of my next book. I don't have to stay for the whole evening and I could probably get out around maybe nine – eight if I get there early. I was going to invite you to it anyways. So, maybe afterwards we could start our date and I could take you out to dinner?"

She's surprised in a way, and also feels slightly guilty over the fact that he himself was a busy man – and even on a night that was all about him and promoting his new book, he wanted to get away to take her out on a date – prove to her that this won't end in a disaster. Whereas she was using her busyness as an excuse and a way out.

"Okay." She surprises not only herself, but him with the almost quick reply and short answer.

He'd half expected her to continue trying to push him away, didn't think she'd accept to come to his book launch and have their date afterwards. She hadn't intended either. But Rick was putting in the effort to prove to her, and the least Kate could do was try.

His smile only spreads wider across his face and his hand squeezes hers. "Really?"

"Really." She nods, lets her own lips curve slightly as she squeezes his hand back and looks up to meet his gaze. "Book launch, then… date."

She can try. She can try to stop being so afraid and to allow herself some happiness. Rick had surprised her so far with how persistent and caring he'd been – maybe he'd surprise her in proving her wrong in this ending in a disaster.

* * *

She enters the bookshop at approximately six pm. She's dressed in a strapless lacy black cocktail dress with strappy heels to match. Her hair is in soft waves that sit just above where her dress begins at her chest.

The few looks from people have her chewing on the inside of her lip and her pulse thumping – wondering whether or not she was far too overdressed for a book launch. She'd never been to one and didn't know the complete rules of what was okay and not okay to wear. Plus, Rick and her had a date afterwards, so she also had to dress for that occasion as well.

The week had flown by faster than she expected, and the nerves about the events of tonight hadn't hit her till she realised she had nothing to wear. She didn't go out that much, rarely ever bought dresses. She never needed to. All she wore for work were pants, it was rare to find dresses or even skirts in her wardrobe. She'd ended up having to call her best friend and colleague; Lanie, to her home, telling the medical examiner to bring _anything_ that would be good for not only a book launch, but a date as well.

Kate's jaw had dropped when she'd first seen the strapless cocktail dress, because although it was beautiful – she was unsure if it was _too much_ for what she was attending and doing. But, Lanie had of course convinced her that nothing was ever too much and that her jaw wouldn't be the only one dropping tonight.

Her heart thumps hard and fast beneath the cage of her ribs as she scans the small crowd of people for Rick and his family and the nerves inside of her ease in the slightest as she spots Martha and Alexis over in a corner.

"Martha, Alexis." Kate breathes out after approaching the two redheads and Martha turns to the voice, her eyes widening as she lets her gaze drift over Kate.

"Oh my, don't you look absolutely radiant tonight, Katherine."

She can't help the smile that spreads across her lips as her head slowly dips. "Thank you, Martha."

She lets out a small breath, warmth radiating up the sides of her neck as she shifts her gaze to the redheaded girl standing beside Martha who looks completely disinterested in the event she's at and would rather be anywhere but here.

"Don't you look beautiful, Alexis." Kate smiles down at the girl, watches her face light up immediately as her head drops, fingers pulling out the pink fabric of her dress as she twirls slightly.

"Do you like it? Gram helped me pick!"

"I do. Your gram has very good taste." Kate smirks slightly as she shifts her gaze from Alexis to Martha.

"Do you know where Rick is?"

"Somewhere in the back I believe. But don't you worry, if you don't see him now. You definitely will when you go on your date tonight." Martha smirks at her and a blush can't help but wash across Kate's face, a small lump starting to form in the middle of her throat.

"I'm just glad he's finally seeing somebody sensible." Martha mumbles to Kate, makes sure Alexis doesn't hear the words her grandmother speaks. "You two have fun tonight, and don't worry. I've got Alexis all night and all morning." She nudges Kate, giving her a wink that only has Kate's pulse pounding harder and faster than before, and suddenly her dress is far too tight and its way too hot inside this bookstore that she needs some air.

"I – excuse me, I just need to use the bathroom." She doesn't waste another minute before manoeuvring through the small crowd. She's not sure where the bathroom is, or if she's heading in the correct direction, but she'd be fine with finding the way out of this place to get some air at least.

"Kate."

She stops in her tracks, her hand hovering over a door handle to a door she thinks leads out back as she hears the familiar voice and her pulse continues to pound.

She slowly turns around and soon meets Rick's gaze, watches as he heads towards her, his eyes slowly roaming down her body; taking all of her in and she can see his adams apple bop, the bright blue in his eyes darkening as his chest slowly rises.

"Wow." He blinks a few times as he comes to stand before her, towering over her in only the slightest. "You look… wow." He's at a loss for words, which is _rare_ for him.

A blush washes across her cheeks, the edges of her lips unable to not stretch out wide. She runs her tongue along her bottom lip, allows the time to let her own gaze sweep over the suit he's wearing and she slowly begins to chew on her bottom lip. "You don't look too bad yourself, Rick."

The edges of his lips curl upwards and his hand slowly reaches out, his thumb dusting over her wrist as their gazes lock once more.

"I'm glad you came."

"Well, I believed I was promised a date afterwards." She shrugs slightly and he lets out an airy chuckle, his head nodding.

"That I did. And I intend on keeping that promise." A beat passes before he's curling his fingers around her wrist and pulling her towards the stand of his books.

"Congratulations, by the way." Kate smiles at him, shifts her gaze to sweep over the Derrick Storm books on display before her.

"Thank you." He smiles at her before he's reaching out to grab one of his books from the display to pass it towards her. "I'll give you a personalized copy later, I promise. But for now, thoughts?" She can sense he's nervous – eager to know her opinion and her brow only arches as she takes the book in her hands, lets her hand dust down the hard copy before she's flipping open the book.

"Well, I might be a fast reader, but even I can't read a book in a few seconds and give you a review, Rick." Kate chuckles her eyes beginning to read over the dedication and the smile on her face falters, the pounding that had subsided in her chest, now rising once more and traveling up to her ears.

 _To Alexis, for always bringing light into my life._

 _To my mother, for always supporting me._

 _And to K.B, for being a friend at a time when I needed one most._

Her mouth runs dry, her brows raising in the slightest as her breathing hitches; chest rising as she takes in the words sprawled across the page.

It's a surprise – a shocking one, something she never would've expected and tears immediately burn round the rims of her lids.

"Rick." She barely breathes out his name above a whisper, her mouth gaping and fingertips dusting over the words as if they'll disappear within seconds – that maybe her mind is playing a cruel joke and she's seeing things.

"Do you – uh, do you like it?"

She blinks a few times and her head slowly turns to meet his gaze – sees the hope in his eyes that has her chest rising once more and her brows pulling together as she drops her gaze back to the book.

She's at a complete and utter loss for words – doesn't know what to say, what to even do. How does she comprehend something like this? Comprehend how wonderful and amazing the man beside her really is, and how she didn't deserve one bit of him – would most likely screw up anything between them and have these words burning into her till the day she dies.

"Rick, there you are!"

Kate's head snaps to see a brunette woman approaching them and the woman eyes Kate up and down, a small smirk playing at her lips before she's focusing her attention on Rick.

"Rick, reporters are here. So, it's time to sell this book like it's the best thing since sliced bread."

"Oh, I can assure you that it is much, much better than sliced bread and I'll have no problem selling it." He chuckles slightly before his gaze turns to meet with Kate's.

"Uh, Kate – this is my publisher, Paula. Paula, this is… Kate."

Kate blinks a few times as she watches the woman extend out her hand and she quickly frees one from the book she's holding to shake it.

"Kate, huh? You wouldn't happen to be _the_ K.B he's put in his dedication, now would you?" Her brow arches, a smirk still playing on her lips and Kate only swallows as she retracts her hand.

"I've been your publisher for how long now, Rick? Where's my dedication? Better yet, where was Meredith's?" Paula squints, the teasing evident in her tone as she laughs.

Rick shifts uncomfortably, warmth radiating up the sides of his cheeks before Paula's taking a hold of him arm. "Come on, lover boy. You two can finish this whatever later. For now, we've got business to attend to."

Paula tugs at him as Rick looks over his shoulder at Kate standing there just watching the two of them. "I'll come find you later." He calls out to her before he disappears into the crowd of people, leaving Kate there all on her own.

* * *

It gets to eight o'clock before Rick's finally free of doing press, his reading and the little mingling he's been doing. He finds his mother and daughter in the corner, Alexis fast asleep on one of the bean bags that his heart completely melting at the sight.

"I'm gonna take her home now kiddo, very proud of you." Martha kisses his cheek and the edges of Rick's lips curl up wide.

"Thank you, mother." A beat passes before he continues. "You haven't seen Kate, have you?" He turns away from her, his gaze searching the small crowd that's fanned out now. He hasn't seen her since Paula had whisked him away – couldn't manage to spot the breath-taking woman when he'd been mingling.

"Oh." His head snaps back to face his mother, his brows pulling together slightly. "She left about… half an hour ago?"

"She – she left?" His eyes go wide, pulse starting to thump as his fingers begin to fumble to pull his phone out of his pocket.

Had _he_ screwed up? Had the dedication in his book been too much too soon for her? Had his publisher pretty much telling her that he'd never even written his own _wife_ or publisher a dedication freaked her out?

"Is everything okay?" Martha looks at him a little worried and he nods at her as he scrolls through his contacts to find Kate's number.

"Yeah, it will be." Because he'll fix whatever's wrong.

He pulls his phone up to his ear, the ringing taunting him and as soon as he hears Kate voice he almost lets out a sigh of relief – but then he realises it's her voicemail, and a grunt falls from his lips.

"You've got Alexis, right?" He glances at his mother and she nods, waves him off before he's trying Kate's phone once more as he heads towards the back exit of the bookstore.

He'll make up an excuse to Paula later about why he left so early, for now, he had to go find Kate and figure out why she left and if she was okay. He needed to know if she'd left because of his dedication, if he had freaked her out. He should've known to take things slow with her, that doing something as big as writing her a dedication in his book could scare her off.

* * *

 **A/N: A somewhat short chapter, but don't worry – the next one will be pretty long. Also, Kate leaving definitely won't be what you're probably thinking. So, don't go hating on her.**


	13. Chapter 13

Her body is perched on top of one of the plastic seats. Arms are folded across her chest as her knees bounce, pulse thumping hard and fast beneath the cage of her ribs that her bones are beginning to ache, her entire body feeling as if it's only moments away from combusting.

Her head lifts, vision slightly blurred and lids heavy from the tears that had just stopped falling and how long she'd been sitting here. She looks around the hospital waiting room her eyes immediately going to the doors of the emergency room as her chest rises while she sucks in a breath.

She got the call almost six hours ago now that her father was in the emergency room after having been in a car accident. The head on collusion hadn't been too bad – as she'd been told by the nurse on the phone and after arriving. But the main concern and worry was the high level of alcohol in his system, and her blood had immediately run cold upon hearing the initial reason he'd been in a crash.

She felt her body being ripped back to the day her father and her had come home from dinner to find an officer at their door notifying them of her mother's death. And she thought that _this_ was it, that this was the call she'd get to notify her of her father's death and her whole world couldn't help but come to a complete and utter stop.

She wants to tell him she told him so – that drowning his sorrows in booze was only going to cause him to end up in a body bag, but what she wants most is to seem him awake and talking – to hear his voice again and be held by him. Because she's not ready to lose him, she can't lose him _as well_. She won't be able to cope with it.

"Ms. Beckett?"

Kate's head snaps in direction of the doctor coming towards her and she's instantly on her feet, eyes wide and burning as her pulse thumps loud in her ears, her breath getting caught in her throat.

"How – how is he?" She manages to get out as she swallows hard.

"He's stable for now."

She lets out the breath she'd been holding, her eyes falling closed as the arms folded across her chest tighten.

"He sustained minor injuries from the crash. Just a broken wrist and a swollen ankle, as well as a minor concussion."

"And the alcohol level?" She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth; chewing on it a little too hard. She's glad his injuries from the crash are minor – that not a lot is broken and won't take too long to heal. But she's more worried about how high is alcohol level was – what the damage there was.

"His alcohol level was 0.26. We had to pump his stomach to flush out all the fluids, and he's currently on a drip. But your father is doing surprisingly well considering all he's been through tonight, Ms. Beckett."

She could hug the man before her – let a smile break out across her face hearing that her father was doing _well_ , all things considering. He was breathing, and he was alive. And when he wakes up and she's told him how much she loves him – then she'll give him an earful.

"Thank you." She breathes out, swallowing once more as her tongue runs across her bottom lip. "Can I see him now?"

"Of course, just follow me." He nods to her, giving her the smallest of smiles. "He should be waking up any moment now." The doctor turns, and leads Kate through the doors and down the hall to where her father is.

* * *

She stands in the doorway, fingertips gripping it in order to keep her body balanced as her head leans against the frame, her eyes falling closed as the image of her father asleep on the hospital bed fades from her line of sight.

She knew she shouldn't have took his word – that she should've sent him straight back to rehab the first time she got his drunken call. Then maybe neither of them would be in this position right now.

She shakes her head, can't help but sniffle and wipe away the tears beginning to fall as she peels herself away from the doorframe and moves into the room.

Her heels clank against the floor, and she glances down at her attire – can't help but wince at how out of place she is.

She's still wearing the strapless lacy dress – now accompanied with the leather jacket from her car, that she'd worn to Rick's book launch – and what was _also_ supposed to be for their date.

Her head shakes at the ruined night while slipping into the seat opposite her father's bedside.

She's got at least seven missed calls from Rick, ones she knows she should've answered. She left the launch so suddenly after receiving that phone call.

She'd been standing with Martha and Alexis – helping occupy the tired redhead who wanted to leave but also see her father, when her phone had gone off.

She wanted to ignore the phone call, knew that it could possibly be work with a body drop – _despite_ it being her night off. But she couldn't stop herself from reaching into her purse and excusing herself from the two redheads.

That's the last she'd seen them when she'd gone to answer the private number in one of the back rooms. The second her father was mentioned, and _where_ he now was – Kate was off. She darted so fast out of that bookstore she's surprised she didn't leave skid marks on her way out.

She'd been worried sick – her cage rattled and her mind completely wrapped around the fact that her father might not make it, and answering Rick's calls and giving him an explanation as to why she'd run off in such a hurry just wasn't that important to her in that very moment.

She pulls out her phone, a sigh falling from her lips as she catches the time on her screen: 4.23am. No wonder she was exhausted. It hadn't just been from all the crying she'd done. She hadn't realised how late it had gotten. When she'd received the call, it'd been no closer to eight thirty.

She opens her phone, and clicks on her messages to read the ones Rick has sent her.

 _Where are you?_

 _Where did you go, Kate?_

 _Are you okay?_

 _Did I do something wrong?_

 _Please pick up._

She should reply to him, send him something and tell him that she's okay, that everything's okay. But she knows he'll want an explanation as to why she ran out of his book launch and ruined their date night, and right now, she can't give him one. Mainly because she'd rather tell him in person – have the warmth of his arms and the comfort in his eyes soften the ache inside of her when she tells him why she had to run off so suddenly. She may not deserve him, but he's the only person who seems to make her feel comfortable when hell is raining down on her.

"Katie?"

The voice is so soft and barely above a whisper that Kate almost misses it. Her head snaps up from her phone, eyes falling onto her father staring at her with the edges of his lips creased upwards in the slightest.

"D-dad." She breathes out, quickly rising to her feet and letting her belongings fall to the ground as she quickly moves forwards to wrap her arms around him.

"Wh-whoa, not so tight now." He coughs, spluttering and Kate pulls back immediately, her heart aching even more as she adjusts the drip she'd almost caused to rip away from him.

"Sorry. I'm sorry." She shakes her head, moves away to pour him a glass of water and help him drink some of the liquid.

"I should be the one saying that to you." He pauses after his throat is clearer, but his voice is still hoarse. He gives her a knowing look that has her head dipping and an audible sigh falling from her lips. "I'm so sorry, Katie."

"Dad – I thought… I thought I lost you." Her brows pull together tightly, the tears in her eyes remerging and slowly starting to fall down the frames of her cheeks.

She feels his good hand come to rest atop of hers and grip it tightly, forcing her to lift her head to meet his gaze.

"You haven't. You won't. I'm so sorry you had to even think that."

Kate shakes her head, a bitter laugh almost falling from her lips as her tongue runs along her front teeth.

"You say that. But you'll go back to the booze as soon as you're out of here, and then you'll be back here again. Except next time – you won't make it."

His hand grips hers tighter and Kate's chest rises, her jaw tightening as she stares ahead at the closed curtains covering the window.

"I may not… remember much of what's happened." Kate can't help but shift, her hand slipping away from his as he speaks but he grips onto her hand tighter. "But there won't be a next time. There isn't going to be one. I promise you. It's different this time, I promise you it is, and I _swear_ on your mother, Katie."

Her chest starts to rise a little fast, the ache inside becoming tight and her hand jerks away from his as her body flies to stand tall, head whipping round to glare down at him as she grits her teeth. "Don't you dare. Don't you _dare_ swear on her!"

"I thought I saw her before I crashed."

"Wh-what?"

"Thought I saw her when I was lying there after the crash too. All I could see was the disappointed look on her face. And all I could imagine her saying to me was how selfish and inconsiderate I was being. That I wasn't ruining only my life – but yours."

He reaches for her once more, his body shifting to sit up and he winces that Kate rushes forwards to help situate him back into a comfortable position as she eases herself back onto the bed next to him.

"I'm going to try better – harder this time, Katie. Not just for me, but for you _and_ your mother."

He reaches out for her arm, his fingers wrapping around and squeezing. It's then he takes in her appearance and his brows pull together in confusion as he looks back up at her.

"Where – where were you tonight?"

She swallows, head shaking and gaze dropping to her lap. "Doesn't matter now."

"It was somewhere important, wasn't it? I dragged you away from somewhere important. A special night by the looks of it. A Date?"

"You didn't drag me away. I dragged myself away."

"Because I'd been stupid and careless." He sighs, head shaking as he squeezes her arm once more before dropping it to his lap. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you, and that I've ruined important nights for you because of how I've been trying to cope."

Kate's head shakes, tears burning round her lids again. She wants to tell him it's okay, that it's fine. But she knows that'll be a lie, and he'll know it as well.

"I'm going to do better this time. I promise you. I'll get better help. Live in a sober home – do whatever I have to do to ensure I don't end up here again, and that you don't have to carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders anymore."

She doesn't say anything, but instead lets her body lean lightly against her father in a way that won't cause him any pain as she closes her eyes and rests her cheek against the top of his head.

* * *

Rick's standing outside her apartment door, his back leaning against the outer doorframe as he stares down at his phone rather hard.

He hasn't heard anything – hasn't received any texts or calls, and from the consistent knocking he's been doing for the past fifteen minutes – it doesn't seem like she's in either.

It's nearing eleven am, and he's starting to become furious. Half of him wants to believe that she has a valid reason for leaving and ignoring all his attempts at trying to contact her, that maybe she was hurt or had something work related, but the other half of him can't seem to come up with a reason as to why she'd leave without saying a word or ignoring his messages and calls for this long.

Either she's been abducted by aliens, or she was really trying to tell him she wasn't at all interested in him. He hopes it's the first – mainly because that'd be _so cool._ But also, because he doesn't want to believe the latter, that there could be a possibility her acting abilities were greater than his mothers and she'd been putting on an act this entire time with him and wasn't the slightest bit interested or attracted to him as he was with her.

His head lifts when he hears the elevator ding and his eyes widen as he sees her emerging from the elevator. His heart flutters, but the anger inside soon overpowers the happiness of seeing her. The anger inside rising as he sees her wearing last night's clothes and his heart begins to thump fast, an unsettling feeling emerging in the pit of his stomach as he sees her head bowed – the messy curls and her fingertips clutching her heels.

It looked like she was doing the walk of shame, and he wanted to be sick – wanted to run and not be here when she looked up.

But she looks up and sees him, and any doubts of what she's done quickly fades as he sees the red rimmed eyes and the smudged makeup – the tiredness that's etched across her face and made her seem like she's aged in the short time since he's last seen her.

His brows pull together, lips beginning to gape as he steps forwards, phone slipping into his pocket.

"Kate? What – are you okay?"

He's like putty in her hands, the anger of her disappearing on him and ignoring him disintegrating as he quickly moves forwards, his hands coming to rest at her arms as she stops in front of him.

"I'm – I'm fine." She sighs out, eyes falling closed as she swallows the lump in her throat.

"Rick, I'm so – god I'm so sorry for running off like I did last night. For ignoring your calls and texts." Her eyes open as she lifts her head to meet his gaze, and she immediately feels the guilt course through her body as she sees the hurt in his eyes. "I didn't – I should've called."

"You think?" It comes out a little colder than he intended as his arms drop to his side, gaze tearing away from Kate.

"You have to know it wasn't because of you, Rick. It wasn't your fault, okay? I wanted… I really wanted our date to go ahead. But I – my dad." She stops, head shaking and Rick's head snaps back to look at her and worry starts to wash across his face.

"What happened, Kate?"

She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth the second it begins to quiver, the tears beginning to re-emerge round the rims of her lids. She's not sure why she's crying – her father was fine. He was doing good after the amount of rest he'd gotten and was even getting discharged early tomorrow morning.

She puts her crying down to the lack of sleep she got. She'd been too worried that something was going to go wrong, that it'd be too good to be true that her father suffered minor injuries and had, had a wakeup call of promising to get better – and she could tell he genuinely meant it too.

"He was in an accident, he was drunk."

"Oh my god, Kate. I'm so sorry… Is he – is he okay?"

She nods her head, can't stop her bottom lip from quivering again, and she moves forwards to bury her face in Rick's chest without warning.

Because she's tired. Both mentally and physically.

"He's fine. He's fine." She repeats, her arms coming to wrap around Rick as she grips his shirt and feels his arms wrap around her back. "He only broke his wrist and sprained his ankle. But he's… he's good. Even promising he's going to do better and try harder to stay sober this time." She swallows, sucks in a breath and wipes her eyes as she pulls back from Rick's grip.

"I'm sorry." She shakes her head, running her tongue along her lips. "I don't know what's gotten into me." She can't help but laugh, as she looks up to meet Rick's gaze, a soft smile spreading across his lips.

"Don't be sorry. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you." He shakes his own head, lifts his hand to cup her cheek and wipe away the falling tear. "Whatever you need, I'm here. Just tell me what you need."

"I don't deserve you." She murmurs, her brows pulling together tightly. She'd disappeared and not said a word to him, wouldn't have even seen him till god knows when since her mind was preoccupied with her father. Rick deserved more than that; more from her. He deserved for her to try better and stop pushing him back so hard.

"Maybe you don't." He shrugs, his hand still cupping her cheek, his thumb brushing over the bone under her eye. "But you deserve to have someone there for you. You don't have to do anything alone, you know?"

She nods, a small smile starting to crease her lips. "I know – and I'm grateful, really. Even if it doesn't seem like it."

She'd never been great at keeping people around – was too afraid of her heart suffering anymore heartache. But Rick was different, had been different from day one, and maybe it was time for her to be better at trying to keep people around.

"I need to shower then get back to the hospital. But I'll… call you tonight, okay?"

His head tilts, eyes roaming over her body before landing back on her face. "Have you eaten?"

She shakes her head and Rick smiles down at her.

"Well… how about while you shower, and before you go back to the hospital, I make you something to eat? Then I can drive you back to the hospital?"

"Rick… you don't, you don't have to do that."

"I know. But I want to. Let me help, Kate. You look exhausted, so just… let me help." His thumb softly brushes against her cheek once more and she pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing on it before her head is nodding.

"Okay." He smiles slightly wider at her, and she can't help the edges of her own lips from lifting as she steps back from his embrace to move around him to her apartment door.

"Besides, we didn't exactly get our date last night. So… brunch could be our date."

Her brow arches as she looks over her shoulder from pulling her key out. "Brunch?"

"Two of the most important meals of the day – breakfast and lunch."

She almost snorts at him, her eyes rolling as she sucks in a breath. "I know what brunch means, Rick."

"Oops." He shrugs sheepishly as she shakes her head at him, a smirk beginning to play upon her lips.

"So, brunch date?" His own brows rise as she shoves the key into the hole and pushes her door open, the smile on her lips starting to grow wider.

"Okay, brunch date." She glances over her shoulder at him, lets her smile continue to grow before she's dipping her head and moving inside her apartment, leaving the door open for Rick.

* * *

"Oh, you have no idea how good it feels to be out of those clothes." Kate sighs in relief as she pads through her apartment towards her kitchen where she'd last seen Rick.

"Well, nobody would be complaining if you decided to _stay_ in those clothes."

Her head shakes, a small smirk playing at her lips as she rounds the corner to see Rick's back to her.

"Of course you would say that." She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, pulling it into her mouth as she leans against the doorframe and folds her arms across her chest. "So, what's for brunch then?" Her brow hitches as Rick turns around to face her, his eyes roaming up and down before landing on her face with a smile.

She always looked so beautiful to him – no matter what she was wearing. He rarely got to see her in casual clothes, considering whenever they did spend time together it was during her lunch hour or after she'd clocked off, so she was always wearing her work attire. But he likes seeing her in casual clothes – jeans, ballet flats and a purple sweater. She looked cosy and comfortable, and he felt delighted he got to see this part of her.

"Well, you didn't have _much_ in your fridge or your cupboards." He nods in direction of them and a light blush creeps up the sides of her neck as her hand lifts to scratch the back of her head.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to do some shopping…"

"That's okay. I went and grabbed a few things from the store down the road while you were in the shower. We have pastries, waffles – not homemade, I'm sorry, but the eggs are homemade. The Rick Castle special." He beams at her and she tears her gaze away from him to peer through the kitchen into the small dining room where he's set up the table with all of the foods and her stomach immediately grumbles at the sight.

"It all looks so good, and I can't _wait_ to try the Rick Castle special eggs." She steps forwards as she kinks her brow at him, the smirk on her face growing wider as the pair of them head through to the dining room.

"Oh, you'll love them. I promise." Rick pulls out her seat for her, taking a glance in her direction. "Malady."

She refrains from snorting as she smirks at him again and slips into the chair. "Thank you, _sir_." She rolls her eyes and he only grins wider as he comes around to sit opposite her.

"Really, it all looks so good, Rick. I can't believe you did all of this while I was in the shower." She laughs slightly, her brows pulling together as she wonders just how long she'd been in there.

He only shrugs as he begins to pour them a glass of orange juice each. "All I really did was put the waffles in the toaster and cook the eggs. The pastries were already premade."

"Still, thank you for this. I'm actually starving." She lets her gaze gloss over the food, wondering where to start first before piling some eggs onto her plate and grabbing a waffle as Rick starts putting food on his own plate.

"Well, I have to go to some efforts for my _date_." He keeps his gaze on the pastries as he decides which one and Kate can't help the blush that washes across her cheeks and the smile that spreads wide across her face.

She reaches her free hand across the table to where Rick's lays and rests her hand atop of his, earning his head tilting in her direction as blue meets hazel.

She brushes her thumb over his knuckles and smiles at him, her aching heart from all that's happened starting to soften from Rick's company.

* * *

They make small talk through brunch, drifting in an out of comfortable silence. And when their bellies are full and the table is nearly cleared, Kate rises to her feet and starts collecting their plates as Rick rises to do the same.

"Hey, no. You cooked, I clean." She swipes at his hand, grabbing the plate he'd been trying to grab. "So, sit. Have some more orange juice." She smirks at him as he frowns and lowers himself back to his seat.

"Usually I would argue, but I think I ate too much."

Kate can't help but laugh as she carries the dishes over to the sink. "You and me both. I think you underestimated _just_ how many of us there were to eat, Rick." She spins round to find him in the doorway leaning against it.

"There's quite a few pastries left over, you could bring some to your dad."

She smiles as she moves towards him. "I think that's a great idea. He hates hospital food, and he'd be _delighted_ if he saw a blueberry muffin or an apple Danish." She hums, her hands coming to rest against Rick's chest and the smile on his face only grows wider.

"I like this you."

Her brow arches at him before her head tilts to the side. "This me?"

"The one that doesn't hold back – isn't afraid to let me in, let me hold her." He lifts a hand to tuck some of her loose curls behind her ear, his other hand wrapping around her back and her eyes dip, the smile on her face growing as she pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, heat beginning to run across her cheeks.

"Well – you deserve more from me, Rick. You deserve a whole lot more." Her head shakes as she swallows and lifts her gaze to meet his.

"So, does this mean there's more dates in our future? Especially with that dress you wore last night, because I think I'd like to see that again. Well, I know I'd like to see that again."

She shakes her head at him, eyes rolling as her smile turns into a smirk. "Yes, this means there will be many more dates. _If you're lucky_. And maybe you'll get to see that dress again, who knows." She shrugs, moving away from his grip and adding a little more sway in her hips as she rounds the corner into the living room.


	14. Chapter 14

He moves through the halls of the hospital, two steaming cups of coffee's in his hands and a spring in his step.

Ever since his brunch date with Kate the day before, he's been happier than ever. A permanent smile has been plastered across his face ever since, and hasn't shown any signs of faltering.

With the promise of more dates, and the knowledge that Kate was going to try harder and do better to show Rick that she was interested and cared, he was delighted. Felt honoured that she was going to the lengths to tell him she was going to do better when she didn't have to at all. It made him feel special, like he really meant something to her.

He could tell she was somebody who ran when things got tough or difficult in friendships or relationships, and when she ran out of his book launch the other night, he really thought that was it between them. That she'd shove him back and isolate herself away from him.

He cared deeply for her, had been falling for her since the first time he'd opened his door to her – it had just taken him awhile to see that she was the woman he'd been searching for his entire life. The one he opens his heart to fully, and the one that doesn't leave his life.

Or at least he hopes that. He doesn't want to get ahead of himself, or push Kate into going too fast. So he'll go slow, and do his best to hold back the feeling's and words that are always wanting to spill from his lips. He's a sentimental person, somebody who feels the need to tell others exactly how he feels, and sometimes those words can be a lot – too much for people, and he knows what he'd have to say would terrify or scare Kate off.

So for now, he'll keep them to himself.

He carefully pushes open the door to the hospital room of Jim Beckett. His head pops round, eyes searching and finding the man asleep in his bed and a woman with wavy brunette hair curled up on the chair beside his bedside.

The edges of Rick's lips curl as he sees Kate's eyes drift from her father, to land on Rick – and his heart thumps repeatedly when he sees the smile that stretches across Kate's face and the evident gleam that seems to appear in her eyes.

"Rick." She breathes out quietly, careful to not disturb her sleeping father. "What are you doing here?" Her head tilts to the side, brows pulling together and furrowing as she untangles her limbs from underneath her and rises to her feet to meet him in the middle of the room.

"Brought you coffee." He beams at her, lifting the two cups into the air. "I know hospital coffee basically tastes like sludge. So I thought you could do with a good quality coffee to kickstart your morning."

She grins at him, her head dipping as her hands slip into the front pockets of her jeans. "You're a lifesaver." She murmurs, teeth sinking into her bottom lip as her head lifts to meet Rick's gaze. "I may have been avoiding the coffee they sell here." She laughs quietly and nods towards the door, gesturing for the pair of them to leave and Rick heads out first, Kate following closely behind and closing the door behind her carefully.

"I don't want to wake him." She shrugs as Rick hands her over the coffee.

"Understandable. How's he doing?"

Kate takes a large gulp, her eyes falling closed as the warm liquid falls down the back of her throat and her whole body almost melts, her shoulders sinking as she lets out a hum at the decadent coffee taste.

"Better. He's doing much better. He gets discharged in a few hours."

"Really? That's great." Rick grins at her as the pair sit themselves on the chairs outside the room.

She throws her leg over the other as she rests the coffee cup on her kneecap. She lets out a small sigh, her index finger beginning to circle the rim of her coffee lid.

"I'm taking him up to our family cabin to recover." She glances at Rick, his brow raised at her and she pulls her bottom lip into her mouth, her gaze falling to her coffee cup. "The cabin always helps him. He bought it after my mom died, and It really helped him. He spent at least three Summer's really doing the place up. I think it helped take his mind off of her." Her lips twitch slightly as her brows pull together tightly. "I know he's serious about wanting to do better this time, and to stay sober for more than six months. So I'm taking some time off to stay up there with him. Help him out till his ankle and wrist have healed. Then find a better rehab for him to go too."

Rick listens to her intently, taking in all the information she decides to share with him, and he can't help the small smile that creases his lips as he listens to Kate.

"He's really lucky to have a daughter like you, Kate."

He reaches over to slide his hand over her knee, giving it a small squeeze as she shifts the coffee cup that'd once been resting on her knee, out of the way.

"If you need any help with finding a good rehab facility, I'd be more than happy to help you find the best one suited for your father."

"Thank you, Rick. But it's okay, I can do this." She smiles at him before placing her hand on top of his and curling her fingers around his fingers and squeezing his hand.

"I don't mind, really, Kate. I meant it when I said I'm here for you and that you don't have to do this alone. Why don't I look up a few and send you the best ones I find? That'd give you one less thing to worry about while you take care of your dad up at the cabin." His brows raise slightly as he watches her chew on the inside of her gums, can see the smile twitching at her lips and the shake of her head as a sigh falls from her lips.

"Okay. Deal." She glances at him and his smile only grows wider at her.

"Great."

"Uh… but, one more favour?"

His brows raise again, head tilting slightly as he keeps his gaze on her. "Of course, you name it."

"We're leaving as soon as my dad's discharged, and I need to go pack things for not only me, but him too. And I was wondering… if you'd like to come with me? We could have lunch afterwards, my shout." She chews slightly harder on her bottom lip, unsure why she's suddenly so nervous about asking him to accompany her somewhere and then have lunch when he's always so keen to spend time with her.

"I'd be delighted to come with you, Kate." He smiles at her, squeezing her hand as she lets out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

* * *

"Don't touch or break anything." She warns, a sultry look plastered across her face as she points her index finger at Rick.

His hand comes to land on his chest, a mock gasp escaping his lips. "I am appalled and shocked that you think I would touch or break anything."

She hitches a brow at him, giving him one of her _looks_ and he can't contain the childlike smile that begins to spread across his face.

"Okay, I promise I won't break anything. But I make no promises about not touching anything."

He shrugs, hands coming to pinch Kate's sides and she yelps as she quickly steps away from him and swats his hands away. "Rick!"

"What?" He shrugs, a smirk creeping across his face as Kate's lips hang open slightly, her head shaking at him while she squints.

"I'm gonna go pack my dad's bags, you think you can handle yourself in here for a few minutes?"

He glances around the open plan living room and kitchen before nodding his head and letting his gaze drift back to land on Kate. "Aye, aye Captain. But don't I get the grand tour? Like where did little Katherine Beckett spend all her time growing up." He smirks, his eyes drifting down her body and a light blush can't help but creep across her cheeks as she swallows the small lump in her throat.

"Alright, come on then sailor." She shakes her head, a huff leaving her lips as a small smirk creases her lips. "You've already seen the living room and kitchen. This is the hall." She gestures as the pair enter into the somewhat long hallway.

"My dads room is at the end, mine is on the right and then the guest bedroom and study is on the left. Oh, and the guest bathroom is just through there." She points in each direction as Rick takes in each closed door, a brow raising as he glances over at Kate.

"We moved into a smaller placed after my mom died. It was too hard for both of us to keep living there. Everything just had her essence on it." Her brows furrow, arms coming to fold across her chest as she stares down the hall. "I moved in when I transferred from Stanford to NYU to keep an eye on him."

Rick moves closer to her, his arm coming to slide across her waist as he smiles down at her. "He really is so lucky to have you, Kate. And I'm so sorry about everything, that you had to suffer through all of this." He lifts his hand to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing across her cheek lightly and Kate can't help but shudder as she feels the tears prick around her lids.

"I-I better go pack his things. Stay out of my room." She quickly shakes away the thoughts and emotion threatening to spill out across her face as she smirks at him and removes herself from his touch as she heads down the hall and disappears into her father's room.

Rick of course, doesn't listen to her and instead waits till he hears movement from her father's room before he goes down to the door on the right where she'd said her bedroom was.

He looks over his shoulder before reaching for the knob and slowly turning it before pushing it open. He's eager to see what lays hidden behind the door, and he's not disappointed when he steps into the medium sized room.

There's a double bed in the centre, a bookshelf on the right and a bedside table on the left. There's a dresser on the left side by the door, and a mirror wardrobe on the right-hand side. Across from the bed is a desk and he drifts towards it as he glances down at the guitar leaning against it, a smile creasing his lips.

Awards and medals along with posters from Stanford and NYU align the walls and he shifts to the bulletin board on the far side with multiple pictures pined to it. He smiles at the multiple ages of Kate Beckett scattered across, his eyes drifting to find childhood pictures, ones with her parents, friends and a few of her mother, as well as monumental moments and his heart skips a beat, warmth circulating through his body as he takes in the memories from moments of her life.

He glances down to see the few knick-knack's lining the desk and he reaches out for a plastic elephant that's been painted multiple colours and was clearly made by a child; most likely Kate when she was in single digits and he can't help but beam at it before placing it back down in its original spot.

He should feel bad for snooping and prying when she told him not to go into her room, but he couldn't help it. He wants to know every single angle and aspect of Kate Beckett. Wants to know all her wants and fears, wants to know the ins and outs of her. He already thought her to be a remarkable and extraordinary woman, but seeing the room she'd spent a few years in, all the photographs and memento's she's acquired, he's more intrigued and has so many more questions he wants to ask. She's so fascinating to him, no dull corners in her or in her room.

He shifts to her bookcase across the room, his index finger moving along the vast variety of genres and the dust covering most of the books.

His pulse quickens, finger stopping in its tracks on the familiar set of books staring back at him and his mouth goes dry, the sound of his pulse travelling up to his ears as he sees his name staring back at him.

He glances over his shoulder, the doorway empty and he quickly turns back to the shelf. He closes his mouth and swallows as he pulls out the first book his finger had stopped on; _Flowers For Your Grave._ The book is covered in dust and he blows, immediately regretting it as some dust recoils and hits his eyes. He splutters, waving the book up and down as he quickly rubs at his eyes.

He quickly pulls himself together and wipes off the remaining dust before carefully prying the book open. The pages are worn out, some a little ripped and bent and his heart beats. But everything comes to a stop when his eyes roam down to the unfamiliar writing that's begun to fade at the bottom of the page.

 _I know you'll love this book just as much as I do._

 _Merry Christmas, love mom x_

He blinks at the writing a few times, stuck in a trance as his pulse thumps harder in his ears, warmth traveling up the sides of his neck and Rick's breathing starts to become heavier as he carefully closes the book, slipping it back into his place and pulling out the book next to it; _In A Hail Of Bullets_.

He flips open the page, expecting to see the writing of Kate's mother, but instead he's met with his own writing and confusion starts to sweep across his face, his brows pulling together tightly.

"Hey, I thought I told you not to come in here." There's a playful hint in Kate's tone, but it catches Rick off guard and he jumps, the book fumbling in his hands that it almost clatters to the ground, but he catches it in time.

Kate's leaning against the doorframe, her brow arched at him and her arms folded across her chest as an amused expression settles upon her face.

"You look guilty." She laughs lightly as she pushes herself off from the doorframe and moves across her room to where Rick's standing. "What'd you find, huh?" Her gaze drops to see the open book in his hands and her face drops, chest immediately rising as her pulse begins to quicken.

"Rick." She breathes out, her eyes glued to the book, unable to tear her gaze away to look up at him.

"It's signed by me." It's all he can manage to say, because he's confused – and also curious. He would've remembered meeting her; no matter the year or how long she'd been in his company. He'd sure as hell remember her.

"Yeah, I…" Her head shakes, air slipping from her nostrils as she turns to sit herself down on the edge of her bed, her hands slipping between her thighs as she sucks in a breath. "I waited in line for over an hour to get it signed." She laughs again, her tongue sweeping across her bottom lip. "It's stupid."

He's taken back slightly, blinks a few times as he looks between her and the book. "But… when? I would've… I would've remembered you." His head shakes as he drifts to sit next to her, the book still in his grip.

She smiles lightly at him before her gaze shifts away from his once again. "That one you actually signed for my mom."

His eyes widen, his gaze locked on the words sprawled across the page.

"I got your first Derrick Storm book signed. That's the one I waited in line to get signed. But this one." Kate taps the page where his signature and words are. "This one my mom got signed. A Christmas present." The smile on Kate's face can't help but grow.

"She loved your books, Rick… got me into reading them. Well… In the beginning, I didn't really get into them. I let them sit on my desk for a while before I opened them and got into them…" She gives him a sheepish look, a blush beginning to wash across her face. "This was what she got me, her last Christmas here." Her brows pull together tightly, her fingertip running along the worn out pages of his novel.

"Both books were staring at me every time I came home and eventually one night… things got a bit too much. I was missing her like crazy and my dad and I had just had a huge fight about his drinking. I wanted to just, forget for a while and throw myself into something." She pauses, sucking in a breath. "I grabbed Flowers For Your Grave. The one she gave me the Christmas before. I mainly just reread her writing over and over. But, then I began reading it. I got hooked. I'd always see her reading your books, trying to get me to read them. And when I finally did… I felt closer to her. Like, she wasn't gone. That she was sitting right next to me reading along with me."

Kate picks at her fingertips, tears starting to burn the rims of her lids as her pulse skips each beat. "It's silly…"

"No, no. Not at all." Rick quickly shakes his head, tearing one of his hands away to find Kate's hand and intertwine his fingertips with hers. "I think that's beautiful."

She squeezes his hand, her other coming to wrap around his as she sucks in another breath and blinks back the tears. "Your books really helped me get through her death. They, they really meant a lot to me." She swallows the small lump in her throat, her pulse still pounding as she traces Rick's knuckles with her fingers. "I guess that's why I was a little hesitant about starting something with you. Your books are too special to me, and I was afraid that if something were to go wrong… that maybe the books would get tainted, that it'd be too hard for me to ever read them again. And with what they got me through, I didn't want that." She shook her head as she lets out another breath, tears threatening to fall.

"I'd never let that happen." She tilts her head to look at him, her brow arching as her gaze meets his. "I won't let anything go wrong between us, Kate. I'm dedicated to making this work. For you and I to be remarkable together, and I won't let what's special to you and what makes you feel close to your mother be ruined." He leans forwards, his forehead meeting hers as her eyes fall closed, chest rising.

"I'm really honoured and touched both you and your mom love my books." He'll definitely gloat about it later and tease her, but for now. The moment happening is too precious and special for his humour and antics to ruin it. "I'm so happy I could be there for you when you lost your mom, Kate. Even though it wasn't physical. I'm glad I could be there for you. I just wish I would've remembered meeting her, and you…" He shakes his head lightly, lifting his other hand to cup her cheek once more. "Because you are way too special to not remember, and I'll be kicking myself for not being able to have you in my life sooner." He murmurs, closing the distance between them and letting his lips lock with hers in a soft and slow kiss.

Kate pulls back too soon, her head still resting against Rick's forehead as her hand lifts, thumb slowly running along his bottom lip. "You know, I really loved the dedication you made to me in your book, Rick." Her gaze flicks from his lips to his eyes. "I never told you before, but it – it made me so happy. My mom, she'd probably tease me so much about it." She shakes her head, a wide smile beginning to plaster across her face as she imagines her mother being so happy for her, but also insanely teasing her for her relationship with the novelist. "She'd put it down to all her doing that we'd gotten together. Get all big headed and think she was some kind of miracle worker or cupid. Say that if It weren't for her buying me your books we would've never met or gotten together." Kate laughs slightly, can already imagine what her mom would be saying to her.

"Maybe she'd be right." Rick shrugs, a small smirk creasing his lips as Kate's face scrunches up.

"You two would get along so well." She sighs, her thumb brushing across his jawline.

"Thank you, Rick. For everything. The dedication, your words... Just, you. You're… you're the special one here. You're more remarkable then you give yourself credit for." Her head shakes, a sigh slipping as she moves forwards to press her lips back against his, both her hands cupping his cheeks as she pulls him closer. "Really remarkable." She murmurs against his lips before deepening the kiss as her hands slide up into his hair.


	15. Chapter 15

"So, how long will you be at the cabin for?" He nonchalantly asks while taking a bite from his burger, his gaze slowly drifting to land on her. But Kate knows the question wasn't at random or one to fill the content silence since they arrived at Remy's. She can sense the question has been on the tip of his tongue since she first told him she would be taking her father up to their family cabin to help him recuperate.

"Uh…" She pauses, her brows pulling together as she goes over in her head how much leave her Captain had given her off when she'd called him earlier this morning. "About two weeks."

Rick nods, swallowing the remains of his burger in his mouth before taking a sip from his milkshake.

"What is it?" Kate asks, tilting her head to the side, can see there's something else on his mind that he wants to say.

"Nothing, nothing… It's just." She watches his brows pull together, a small sigh falling from his lips as his elbows come to rest on the table, his hands intertwining. "Where does that leave us?" His gaze lifts and Kate's chest can't help but hitch, a small lump starting to form in the middle of her throat.

After their talk in Kate's old room – and a make-out session that had left Rick grinning from ear to ear as he helped her pack things away for her dad and essentials for the cabin; they hadn't really talked about _them_.

In fact, they'd hardly ever talked about them until a week or so ago when they'd first kissed.

She liked Rick a lot, knew she'd been falling for him for a very long time. But relationships were never her forte. She always screwed them up; having one foot in the door and one foot out.

She didn't want to do that with Rick, didn't want him to suffer the hurt that she inflicted upon people who entered her life. But she also knew she had so many burdens holding her down that she wasn't sure if she could fully give herself to him without screwing up.

"I… don't know." She frowns at herself, her gaze dropping as she blinks a few times.

Rick's tongue slides across his lower lip, his hands untangling as he slides one across the table, flipping his hand over and laying it out for her. The edges of her lips can't help but twitch as she lifts her hand from her lap and places her palm to kiss his as their fingers intertwine.

"I like you a lot, Kate. I'm pretty sure I've made that quite obvious, and after… everything earlier. I know you feel the same."

Her cheeks can't help but heat up, a light shade of roseate rising across her cheeks as he mentions _earlier_. She'd been so open with him, the walls she'd constructed and built so high around her in complete ruins at her feet as she wore her heart on her sleeve for the first time.

He was different to anyone she'd ever met, someone who was just as stubborn and persistent as she was. She wanted to let him in, wanted him to climb high and break down the walls she'd built around herself; despite the nagging in the back of her head that told her he'd hurt her, or that she'd hurt him.

But after everything with her dad, how there was a chance she could've lost him – she didn't want to keep walking on eggshells when it came to what she wanted, _who_ she wanted.

"I do. I do feel the same." She sighs out, her other hand lifting to come and rest atop of the one intertwined with her other hand and she lightly brushes her fingertips over his hand. "I need to focus on my dad. Help get him back on track and make sure he doesn't fall off the wagon again, that he keeps his promise of getting better this time. But, I – I." She pauses, stuttering on her words as she struggles to get out what she wants to say.

"But you what, Kate?" He squeezes her hand, gives her an encouraging look that has the tension in her shoulders decreasing.

"I'm not great at relationships, Rick. I never have been, even before my mom died I was pretty useless at them." She shakes her head slightly, tearing one hand away to scratch between her eyes. "I did some pretty stupid and reckless things…" Her head shakes, a breath of air falling from her nostrils.

"My first year at Stanford I… ran off and got married."

Rick's eyes widen, his grip on her hand tightening as his jaw drops and a laugh can't help but elicit from Kate's lips, her other hand coming to cover her mouth.

"I'm sorry, did the _one and done_ Katherine Beckett just tell me she got _married_?" He splutters out, his eyes still wide as she rolls her eyes at him.

"At the time I didn't think it was real, we were young and stupid – I wasn't even, we weren't even that in love with each other. I was still in a bit of my rebel stage. I was drunk and pissed at my parents, and we ran off to one of those stupid wedding chapels and got married. I never thought it was valid till I first became a cop and it had shown up on my file. Anyways, my point is – when it comes to relationships, I don't know what I'm doing. I do careless things. I keep one foot in the door, and one foot out. I never fight for anyone to stay, and I never let anyone fight for me to stay."

She swallows, her gaze dropping to their hands as her thumb swipes over his thumb, not risking to look at him; even though if she did she'd see he was looking at her with such want and understanding in his eyes.

"You haven't even known me for a year, and yet you already know me better than people who've known me for years. I don't know what sets you apart from everyone else, what makes you so different. But I don't want to have one foot in the door and one out with you. I care about you a lot, Rick. You and Alexis, and I don't… I don't want anyone to get hurt. But after my dad – I've always been afraid of losing him, of losing the people I care about – especially after my mom died. And almost losing him… I'm tired of keeping people at arm's length. I'm tired of stopping myself from going after what I want because I'm afraid of getting hurt."

Her pulse is pounding hard and fast beneath the cage of her ribs, the sound deafening in her ears as it drowns out the sounds of the other diners. Warmth is circulating through her body, her breathing starting to become slightly ragged. Because she's nervous – is never this open and honest with people and it makes her want to run – run from this diner, from Rick – from everyone. Because running is what she does best, how she protects herself from all the heartache.

But Rick's different, and it scares her how willing she is to allow herself to open up to him and trust him with what she's afraid of giving to anyone; her heart.

"What do you want, Kate?" His voice is soft, brows pulled together softly as he brushes his own thumb back and forth across her knuckles, his gaze locked on hers and Kate feels a little breathless staring at him.

"You. I want you, Rick." Her voice may come out breathless, her entire body in a bit of a daze; but she's never been surer about anything in her life than she is now.

She grips his hand, more to regain her strength and to tell herself it isn't some cruel dream.

She sucks in a breath, her chest rising as she squeezes his hand once more. "I want you and I to work, but I do need to focus on my dad. It's only a couple of weeks. Two at the max, and then I'll be underneath you – I mean, my apartment. My apartment is under yours. I'll be back under my apartment, I mean." She swallows hard, her cheeks flaring up as her brows pull together tightly. When did she suddenly turn into a complete and utter mess in front of him? More importantly, this would be something Rick would do, not her.

He laughs, a smug grin washing across his face and she quickly composes herself and shoots him a look.

"You know what I meant." She huffs, pulling her hand back from his and folding her arms across her chest.

"Well, as much as I do like the idea of you being… underneath me." His brow arches and she looks away immediately, the warmth in this diner starting to get to her that she's so close to excusing herself to get some fresh air.

"I understand that you have to put your dad first and take care of him, and I don't mind. I wouldn't hold it against you, Kate. His health has to come first. You've both had quite a scare, and he needs you right now. We can talk on the phone every day till you're back. I mean I would rather have you in person, but if I have to hear your voice on the phone for two weeks while you're helping your father out, I will do my best to survive."

The edges of her lips pull up wide, her heart beating fast for the man sitting before her and how wonderful and understanding he truly is.

"You're too good you know that?" She shakes her head, disbelief coursing through her, because how did she get so lucky to find someone so understanding and willing to fight for her?

"Or stubborn." He shrugs, and she smirks at him. "I'm not willing to let you go so easily. You're too extraordinary, Kate."

Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, her head dipping as that breathless feeling, along with something _else_ starts to course through her body.

"You only have to survive two weeks, Rick." She smiles back up at him, shifting the conversation just a smidge as she carefully gets to her feet and comes around to sit next to him in the booth.

"So does this mean I get to call you my girlfriend?" His head tilts, brows arching as he wraps an arm around her shoulders as she comes to sit down next to him.

Kate smirks, her eyes rolling and head shaking slightly as she leans into him slightly, a hand coming to rest against his chest.

"Do you want to call me your girlfriend?"

He nods his head a little too eagerly that a laugh can't help but elicit from her lips.

"I would, very much like to call you my girlfriend, and for people to know you're my girlfriend."

That has a lump forming in her throat, her gaze tearing away from Rick as she leans back against the booth more, her hand slipping from his chest.

"You don't want people to know?" His head tilts, brows pulling together and Kate shakes her head, turns to look at him.

"I'm not saying that, I just… I guess I never thought about it." She frowns at herself, chewing on her bottom lip as she looks at Rick. "Maybe right now we don't tell people? I just don't want to rush things or screw this up." She sighs, knowing she's already probably screwing things up by not telling people, but Rick surprises her.

"Then we won't tell people right now." He moves his hand towards her, his fingertips lightly lifting up her chin so their gaze can meet. "I want this to work, Kate. I want to show you that we could be great together, and if that means taking things slow and not telling people right away, then I'm okay with that."

"You are?"

He nods at her, a soft smile creasing his lips. "It's our relationship, it's between us. It's not anyone else's business. So long as we know what we are, then that's all that matters." He pauses, her heart already beating rapidly; because she really doesn't deserve this wonderful man.

"Oh, and that I get to kiss you."

Kate's head dips once more, a laugh falling from her lips as she shakes her head, a smirk creasing her lips as she lifts her head back up. "I guess I could allow that." She shrugs, and Rick can only grin as he leans forwards to press his forehead against hers.

"Good, because I really do like kissing you." He murmurs, closing the gap between them and pressing his lips against hers as the two of them move together in a slow and sensual kiss.

"God, I don't know how I'm supposed to survive two weeks without being able to kiss you." His voice comes out a little hoarse that Kate gets that dizzy, breathless feeling inside of her once again.

Her chest rises as she swallows the small lump in her throat, her pulse pounding as she nudges her nose against his cheek. "You're not alone there."

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the late update and short chapter! Just something cute and short, the next few will definitely be a bit longer.**


	16. Chapter 16

She fills up two cups of coffee; making sure one is decaf for her father, before she's carrying the two mugs out onto the porch.

"Here you go." The edges of Kate's lips curl upwards slightly as she moves over to the edge of the deck where her father is residing. She hands him his mug, and he thanks her before she slips into the seat beside his and leans back, her eyes taking in the view of the lake out in front of them.

They'd been here for exactly a week now, and although she did love living in the city; she'd never get tired of waking up to the blissful peace that surrounded them. Instead of horns honking and people yelling for taxis, all she was greeted with was the sounds of birds chirping and the dips of the water when something met it.

There was of course, _one_ reason – one person that was making her miss the city even more than she usually would whenever she came up here.

Rick.

Although they'd been in contact, as promised by her; One phone call in the morning, and another at night. It wasn't the same as being able to see him in person. She missed seeing his face light up, and the way his eyes would shine whenever he looked at her. But, she only had _one_ more week to go before she'd be returning to the city.

She could handle one more week.

It surprises her, how much she's allowing herself to really fall for Rick now that they're trying to be more than just friends. She's never been this attached to someone; never gone away and missed them like crazy. She's not that kind of person, but with Rick, it's different. And although it scares her, it's a good kind of scare.

She hums to herself, her body sinking into the chair as she takes a sip from her mug.

She peers over to her father beside her, sees the small smile on his face and the edges of her own curve up more behind her mug.

Her father had been doing so well since they'd left the hospital. He was becoming more mobile upon letting his ankle heal and rest. And although he had an arm in a sling, he wasn't completely incompetent. He'd also kept his word about staying sober; and hadn't touched the liquor since a week ago.

She did have to do a major clean out when they first got up to the cabin. It'd been awhile since she'd last gone up, and there were liquor bottles stashed around the place. Some empty, and others completely full.

But, he'd been doing good. Any time he did have urges, she'd do her best to distract him. It worked sometimes, and other times she'd have to retreat outside and give him some space.

Rick had been helping in the sense he'd been sending Kate recommendations for rehab facilities. One of the facilities Kate thought would be helpful for her father had been packed to the brim. But after a few calls and promises made from Rick – that Kate still isn't sure _what_ he promised. As soon as they got back to the city, they were taking a tour of the facility, and if it was perfect for her father; he'd have a room available straight away.

It made her able to sleep properly for the first time since her father's crash – knowing that he was heading in a direction where he was going to get the help he needed.

She really needed to thank Rick properly for all his help. Maybe a home cooked meal when she got back – a dinner for the two of them.

"What are you thinking about, Katie?"

She snaps out of her thoughts to see her father staring at her, one brow arched in her direction.

"Uh – just, the view." She shrugs, lifting the mug to her lips once more as she tears her gaze away to look out at the lake once more.

Since Rick and her were keeping their relationship a secret for the time being; the details she'd told her father about him had been kept _minimal_. She referred to him as a friend, blurted out that he was still married – which, technically Rick was. She just left out the part that he was separated and in the midst of dealing with a divorce. She didn't want to get into it with her father, not when her sole focus was him and his recovery.

"Mhm hmm. Sure you weren't thinking about that friend of yours? What's his name again… Rick?" A smirk plays on his lips, brow arching and she quickly shoots her father a look, a small lump forming in the middle of her throat.

"Dad!"

"What? Every time you bring him up, Katie, your whole face lights up. And I've seen how you'll count down the minutes till he calls, and how big you smile when you're finally talking to him."

She feels the heat rush to her cheeks, a light shade of roseate coming to wash across her cheeks.

"Look, I know it's not my place to get involved, but, you said he was married…"

A sigh falls from her lips, her tongue dipping out of her mouth to run along her bottom lip before her teeth are sinking into the flesh and pulling it into her mouth. "Dad…"

"I just don't want to see you get hurt. Getting involved with a married man is never good."

She brings her hand up to her face, her index finger running over her brow before they're pulling together. "He's not… he's separated, they're getting a divorce." She breathes out, swallowing the lump in her throat as her finger comes to circle the rim of her mug.

Her father's head tilts to the side, his brows pulling together in confusion as he keeps looking over at her. "Did this just happen?"

She shakes her head, chewing on her bottom lip. "Almost a year ago now."

"A year ago? Then, why did you tell me he was married?"

Her eyes fall closed, brows pulling together tightly. "Because we're focusing on you dad."

It's Jim's turn to sigh and she opens her eyes as she hears his mug being placed down on the small table between them.

"The night of the crash… you were all dressed up. You two were on a date, weren't you?"

She pulls her lips to the side, eyes opening as she keeps her gaze focused on the cup of coffee in her lap.

"Sort've, not really." She shrugs once more and her father shifts slightly in his chair.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it was his book launch. We were supposed to go on a date afterwards." She swallows, unsure why she's so uncomfortable talking to her father about all of this. Then again, whenever she was in relationships it was her mom she was always going to for advice.

"Uh, so he's _the_ Richard Castle. That's who he is, isn't he?"

She can feel the edges of her lips twitching upwards at the mention of his name and she nods her head, turning to face her father.

"How'd you guess?"

Her father curls his lips as he looks over at her. "Aside from the fact I heard you call him Mr. Castle the other night. I saw one of his books on your bedside table. I know your mom loved them, and I wanted to see if it was one of the ones she'd gotten to get signed for you. but when I opened it…"

Kate's pulse starts to pound, her head snapping away from him as another lump forms in her throat. _The dedication_. She thinks to herself.

"That was quite some dedication."

Her heart flutters as her chest rises. "Yeah… it was." She murmurs, her lips twitching slightly more.

"He seems like quite a catch. Book dedications – helping you find me a facility."

She can't control the smile that spreads across her lips as she gazes out to view the lake again. "He's – he's a wonderful man, dad." She tears her gaze away to glance beside herself to look at her dad.

"And he's separated? Getting a divorce, you said."

She nods before continuing. "His ex – Meredith, she cheated on him. When we first met, it'd been a few weeks since she'd left. He said he would've gotten back with her if it hadn't of been for me coming into his life. His heart was broken but he was still going to try put their family back together for their daughter."

"He has a daughter?"

Kate smiles, glancing over at her father. "Alexis. She's five, and the most adorable and smartest little red head you'd ever meet."

"Are you sure you're... Are you sure his intentions are good?"

Her brows pull together, confusion starting to sweep across her face. "What do you mean? Of course his intentions are good."

"Aside from his help, and the friend he's been to you – you don't think he's just trying to find a replacement for his daughter?"

"Dad." Her head shakes, disbelief starting to course through her veins as she sits up a little. She couldn't believe what her father was insinuating.

"Now just listen to me, Katie. I want the best for you. I want you to be happy, and if Rick makes you happy – then I'll back off and give him a chance. But I want to make sure his intentions with you are pure. You came into his life at a rough time, I don't want you getting hurt – being some rebound or replacement."

"I'm not a rebound dad, or a replacement. I can't believe this." She huffs slightly, her head shaking once more as she starts to rise to her feet. "Look, I'll admit I had my doubts when he first wanted something. But –" A sigh falls from her lips, a hand coming to rake through her curls. "I pushed him away, and he fought tooth and nail just for me to say yes to a date. He wouldn't have done that if I were a rebound or some replacement mother to his daughter. He's not that kind of man. He wouldn't do that to me. He's – he's kind, and funny, and a complete idiot at times. But I can be myself with him. He knows – he knows about you, about mom, and he's… he's still here."

Her gaze falls to the ground, another sigh falling from her lips. She'd never been with someone who knew most of her darkest tragedies. She'd gotten into relationships, and as soon as they'd found out about her mother or father, they were gone within a week. Nobody stuck around like Rick had. Nobody had fought as hard as he had. He was different – so much more special than anyone she'd ever met.

She did have her doubts about his intentions. But those doubts had been extinguished, and she didn't want her father putting anymore into her head.

"I'm sorry, Katie." Her father struggles to rise for a moment and she steps forwards to help him, but he waves her off and grabs the walking stick before he moves over to her carefully. "I just want you to be happy. And I haven't done a very good job at making you happy, so I want to make sure who you have in your life… that they're making you happy. That they're not making things harder for you like I've been. Us fathers, we just want the best for our kids. I'm sure if you asked Rick that, he'd say the same."

He tries to get a smile out of her, and the edges of her lips twitch as she glances up at him.

"He really makes you happy, doesn't he?"

She nods her head, a smile breaking out across her face. "He really does. Happier than I've been in a long time…"

"Then I like him already."

* * *

"Hey, you." Kate smiles, closing the front door as she moves down the porch steps and towards the dock.

"Hey yourself." Rick's voice fills the side of her ear where the phone is pressed against it. "Sorry I couldn't call at lunch. Turns out after you release a book, your publishers are on your ass to get the next one finished. And Meredith had some _more_ demands, so once again the divorce papers are being re-written." She can hear the frustration in his voice as she carefully sits herself down, dipping her feet into the water.

The suns just starting to set, and although she'd been disappointed about not being able to speak with him at lunch; their usual time, it didn't matter now.

"What demands could she possibly be making now?"

"Well, turns out she doesn't want the house in the Hampton's anymore. Says she wants more money to be able to buy a beach house out in L.A" Rick shrugs, leaning back in his chair as he stares at his computer, half a page of writing on it.

"But, enough about my hard life. How was your day? How's your dad doing?"

She can't contain her smile growing wider, her heart fluttering in her chest. _Sweet man_. She thinks. Pushing his own worries to the side to ask about her and her dad.

"He's doing good. We uh, we had a talk earlier this morning."

"Well, usually when two people are away somewhere they do talk." She can hear the chuckle fall from his lips and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes as she pulls on her bottom lip.

"That's _not_ what I meant, and you knew it."

"Maybe. But, do go on. What did you two talk about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Mhm hmm."

"Well, what about me? Good things I hope."

"You know, I'm not sure if there are any good things." She teases, her feet beginning to lightly move back and forth under the water as she hears Rick's fake gasp on the other line.

"Katherine Beckett, I am _wounded_. Very, very wounded. In fact, I may just hang up right now."

"No, no! Okay, I'm sorry, don't hang up." _I've missed hearing your voice_. She thinks, stopping herself from letting those words fall from her lips. "He wanted to know what your intentions with me were."

She can hear a pause and she chews on her bottom lip, her fingers playing with the bottom of her shirt.

"And, what did you say?"

"I said that… I said that you were a wonderful man with very good intentions." She decides to not tell him her father's exact words. He didn't need to be worried about if she was having doubts again, because she wasn't.

"Well, some of my intentions aren't very good, but I don't think you should let your dad know about those."

" _Rick._ " She warns, though her chest does hitch, warmth starting to come up the sides of her neck.

"What? I think I've made it pretty obvious that I find you extremely attractive and beautiful, Kate. Oh, and that you have _very_ nice lips. Very soft lips."

She groans, her head rolling as she places her hand behind her to lean back. "You're killing me here."

"It isn't any easier for me, trust me." He pauses, and she can hear some shuffling from the other line. "So, your dad knows about us then?"

She nods before realising he can't actually see her. "Yeah… that's okay, right?" Her brows arch as her teeth chew on her bottom lip more.

"Of course, of course it is! And… maybe even more since I may have let it slip to Alexis." His words come out fast, and she can just tell that his face is scrunched up as if he's bracing himself.

"You told Alexis?"

"It sort've just slipped out."

"How exactly does you and I being in a relationship just slip out, Rick?" She laughs slightly, not really at all that mad at him. More anxious for what Alexis thought, and if she was okay with the two of them being together.

"She wanted to know why we hadn't seen you in a while, and I told her that you were away taking care of your dad and you'd be back soon. She said we should do something with you when you get back and I said we had a date. It slipped out before I could think of something."

"It's okay, Rick."

"You sure?"

"Well, I can't exactly get mad when my dad knows." She shrugs slightly, continuing to dip her feet into the water. "So… what does Alexis think?" She can't help but hold her breath as she awaits for Rick's response. Alexis' opinion mattered to her, and her approval would mean everything to Kate. if Alexis wasn't okay with it, she'd stay clear of Rick.

"Honestly? She's over the moon about it." She hears his laugh from the other line and her body softens as she lets out the breath she'd been holding.

"Really?"

"Uh huh. She loves you a lot, Kate. Loves having you around and spending time with you. She knows that Meredith and I, that we won't be getting back together. She said she's never seen me so happy as I am when I'm with you."

Kate's pulse pounds beneath the cage of her ribs, her breathing becoming shallow as a smile spreads across her face while she chews on her bottom lip.

"Wow." Kate breathes out, unsure of what to really say. Both of the Castle's filled her heart with so much joy.

"You make us both very happy, Kate."

"You both make me happy too, Rick." She stops the movement of her feet, and stares down at her reflection in the water. "And I'm – I'm glad Alexis is okay with this, with us. Her approval means everything. She's just as important to me as you are."

"You're such a wonderful woman Kate Beckett." She can hear the content sigh from the other line, and it makes her feel all warm inside.

The sun had set in the blink of an eye, it disappearing behind the horizon as darkness started to envelope her. She knew she should head inside soon, probably end her phone call with Rick and start making dinner for her and her dad.

"Katie?"

 _Speaking of the devil_. She thinks to herself, a small smile stretching across her lips as she glances over her shoulder to see her father out on the porch.

"Be there in a minute." She calls out to her father as she carefully takes her feet out of the water and rises to stand. "I should get going…" She chews on her bottom lip, tucking loose curls behind her ear.

"One more week." He sighs out before continuing. "I won't keep you. Say hi to your dad from me, until tomorrow, Kate."

"One more week… Until tomorrow, Rick." She smiles to herself as she pulls the phone away and hangs up. She sucks in a breath, letting it out with a content sigh before she's making her way back towards the cabin where her father is.

"Rick says hi." She says coming up the steps, sees the smile beginning to spread across her father's face.

"Have a good talk?"

She nods, a sad smile creasing her lips as she taps the phone with her fingers. "So, vegetable soup okay?" Her brows arch and her father nods as they both head inside.

"You miss him, don't you?"

She starts filling up the pot, glancing over her shoulder at her dad briefly, caught off guard by his question. "Uh… yeah." Her brows pull together as she turns her attention back to the stove. "But, I'll see him in a week." She shrugs, trying her best to not look or sound so phased. She's never been like this, and it's making her frustrated with herself.

Jim only nods to himself, his gaze tearing away from his daughter to glance at the phone. A few ideas starting to run through his head. "I'm gonna just call Suzanne, make sure everything's sorted." Suzanne was his assistant, and since he was taking _a lot_ of time off work, all his cases had to be transferred to someone else. But, he'd sorted everything out properly yesterday, and if there were any problems – he'd be available to help for the next week. Though, Kate didn't need to know that.

"Okay." Kate nods, not turning away from the vegetables she's currently chopping up and sliding into the pot.

Jim grabs the phone and carefully makes his way down the hall to his bedroom, closing the door behind him before he presses the redial button on the phone.


	17. Chapter 17

He glances down at his phone on the desk, the cabin number coming up on his screen and the edges of his lips curl up wide as he reaches for it rather quickly and presses accept. "Missing me already, Kate? What happened to making dinner for you and your dad?" He laughs slightly as he leans back.

"Hello, Rick. This is Jim, Kate's father."

Rick sits up a little straighter, his pulse beginning to pound as a small lump starts to form in the middle of his throat, which he quickly swallows before clearing his throat.

"Oh, hi-hi. Is everything okay? Is Kate okay?" His brows pull together, confusion starting to course through his body. Kate had hung up no more than five minutes ago, then again – things could happen so quickly; in the blink of an eye, really. Maybe she fell of the wharf, or injured herself going inside? The possibilities were endless and swirling through Rick's mind.

 _The mind of a writer_ , he thinks to himself.

"Oh, yes. Everything is fine, Kate's okay."

Rick's head tilts, confusion beginning to course through his body as his brows pull together tighter.

"I actually wanted to talk you – she, doesn't know I'm calling."

"What – what did you want to talk about, Sir?"

"Please, call me Jim. It's far less formal." The older man chuckles slightly, and Rick's lips twitch, his head nodding.

"Alright, Jim. How can I help?"

"Well, first of all I just wanted to thank you for all your help, the facility you recommended looks – well, it looks wonderful. And, of coruse, thank you for being there for my daughter. I haven't seen her this happy in – well, a long time actually."

Rick feels his heart skip a beat at hearing her father talk about her and how thankful he is for his help.

"There's no need to thank me, Si- _Jim_. I'm happy to help. I care about Kate a lot, and she cares about you. I didn't want her to feel like she had to do it all on her own in – in helping you." He stutters, the nerves of talking to her father still inside of him that he tears the phone away for a moment and sucks in a breath, holding it momentarily before letting it out and bringing the phone back to his ear.

"No, it's okay, I understand. I haven't… I haven't been there for her; haven't been the dad she needs me to be. Not since her mother died. I've been very selfish, put my own needs before hers when it wasn't the time to do so. She's been wonderful helping me – taking time off work to come up here. But, she deserves happiness, doesn't deserve to miss out."

"What is she… missing out on?"

"You." A beat passes before Jim continues. "It's evident my daughter is missing you. I don't think I've ever seen her… care about someone this much, and it's refreshing to see her enjoying her life and allowing people to be by her side. She pushed everyone away after her mother died. She didn't want anyone close enough to hurt her."

"I don't want to hurt her, I could never do that."

"I know, I understand that now. When Katie first told me about you and her, I was a bit sceptical about your intentions considering your situation."

Rick chews on the inside of his gums, his pulse continuing to pound beneath his chest. He can still remember the doubts Kate had when he'd first shared his feelings with her; how she felt like she was a rebound.

He could understand where Jim was coming from – he was in the midst of a divorce, and had a five year old daughter. Rick's positive that if in the future Alexis came to him telling him she was dating somebody newly separated with a child he'd be concerned as well.

"But you seem like a good man, Rick. Not a lot of people would be able to handle what she's been through – is going through. For you to want to be by her side – I think it's very noble. She needs somebody in her life just as stubborn as she is – somebody who refuses to give up on her or let her go, and from what I've been told; that somebody is you."

Rick feels the smile tugging at his lips as he leans further back in his chair, the nerves inside of him starting to subside.

"She's a remarkable woman your daughter."

"Thank you. I think she's done pretty well for herself, and I couldn't be prouder of her. I won't deny that I'm terrified of the job she has and the risks that come with it. But she does so much good, and I know her mother would be so proud of her."

There's a moment of silence, both men smiling to themselves before Jim is speaking once more.

"Which is why I want the best for my daughter, I've always wanted her to have the best. I love that she gives up everything just to be here for me, but I don't want her to drop everything. She left the city so suddenly when I know she had commitments. Work commitments – a date I hear I ruined."

Rick's face scrunches slightly as he chews on the bottom of his inner lip, his eyes landing on his computer screen.

"Jim–"

"Let me finish," Jim cuts in, his tone still soft as Rick holds back. "I know her being here for another week is probably killing you both, so, I'd like to invite you up tomorrow night for dinner. I will make myself scarce so you two can redo the night I ruined."

Rick's surprised by the invitation, his brows raising as his eyes widen slightly.

"I – you want me to come up to the cabin tomorrow night?"

"That's correct, yes."

"Are you – are you sure? I don't want to kick you out of your own home, especially in the condition you're in."

"My condition is getting better. I'm more than capable of moving on my own and being on my own for a few hours. My daughter has sacrificed enough at my own benefit, I can sacrifice one night. My daughter shouldn't have to put her life on hold or miss out on opportunities because she's too busy taking care of her father."

Rick swallows his brows slowly coming to pull together.

"I'd also like to keep this between us. I think the surprise would make it all the more special for her. So, what do you say, Rick?"

* * *

The morning was slow and quiet; it'd been raining hard on and off all day – which was a pity considering the day before had been filled with so much glorious sunshine that it'd felt like Summer.

But Kate and her father still sat on the porch and had their morning coffee's. The rain coming down on the roof was nice, and seeing it hit the lake made it look even more magical.

Through breakfast to lunch her father had been acting weird, especially after she'd tried calling Rick a few times and had gotten no answer from him. She'd been disappointed, but thought he must've been writing or had arrangements with Alexis.

After lunch, her father suggested they go to the store and get something special for dinner that night. She didn't miss the smug grin on her father's face after she slipped into the driver's side, but merely shrugged it off.

It wasn't till it got to about five o'clock when her father chose to sit by the window – as if he was looking or waiting for someone that Kate had, had enough of how weird he'd been acting all day, and finally decided to ask him about it.

"Okay, what's going on with you?" Kate's brows pull together, hands slipping into the back pockets of her jeans as she comes to stand beside her father.

"Hmm, what do you mean?" He tears his gaze away from the window to glance up at her, one brow arching and Kate only frowns harder at him.

"You've been acting weird all day, dad. So, come on – spill it," Her own brow arches, arms now coming to fold across her chest.

A car coming up the gravel driveway pulls them both to look towards the window and Jim's smile widens.

"Uh, here we go." He murmurs, shifting to get up as he grabs his crutches that he'd changed in exchange for his walking stick – said it made him feel _way_ too old.

Kate's brows pull together even more, her gaze tearing away from the familiar black car; one she can't quite pin her mind to who it belongs to, to glance towards her father heading towards the front door of the cabin.

"Dad?"

"We've got company, Katie. Well, you do." He flashes her a smile as he disappears out the door and confusion sweeps across Kate's face, her lips parting as her pulse begins to pound beneath the cage of her chest as she quickly follows her father out to the porch.

The rain's falling down rather hard, and although the windscreen wipers on the car are vigorously going back and forth – Kate doesn't miss the face behind the wheel.

The pounding in her chest stops for a moment, her lips twitching before a grin cracks across her face as she looks over to her dad, her brows pulled together and head shaking.

"How?"

"I called Rick last night when you were making dinner. Him and I had a very nice talk." He grins at her, placing a hand on her arm.

"But you said you were…" She pauses, making the connection as she shakes her head once again at her dad, a breath of air leaving her lungs. "What did you two talk about?"

"About how I don't want my daughter putting her life on hold for me anymore."

"Dad." Kate sighs, her tongue coming out to run along her bottom lip. "I'm not putting my life on hold." Her head shakes, but Jim squeezes her arm to hush her.

"Yes, you are, Katie. And it's not fair on you to make so many sacrifices for me. It should be me making all the sacrifices for you, not the other way around. You've held yourself back so much since your mom died, and I've noticed a change with Rick in your life."

Tears prick around the edges of Kate's lids as she sucks in a breath, her gaze tearing away from her father to see Rick sitting in the car, raising a hand to wave at her and her lips twitch even more as she lifts her hand slightly to wave back at him.

"I know I had my doubts, but I think he's good for you. And I don't want you having to ruin your life because I've done something stupid."

Her eyes close briefly as she sucks in another breath, her gaze turning back to land on her father. "Dad, I'm not going to stop being there for you – or dropping things when you need me."

"I know you won't stop being there for me, but – you don't have to always drop everything for me, Katie. You're all grown up, and I have to accept that you'll have your own family one day."

"You'll still be a part of that dad. Don't talk like you're gone or going somewhere." Her jaw can't help but tighten, her brows frowning as she refrains from letting tears slip down her eyes.

Jim pats her arm, pulls her towards him and carefully takes her in his arms as he uses his good hand to rub her back up and down. "I'm not going anywhere, promise. But, you have your own life; and you can't put that on hold because of me. I know I ruined your date with Rick the other night, and I don't want you to have to wait another week to make it up." Jim leans back, a smile on his face as Kate can't help but match it.

"I love you, dad."

"I love you too, sweetie." He lifts his good hand to wipe away the few tears that had slipped down as they both turn upon hearing another car coming up the driveway.

"Uh, my rides here."

"Ride?" Kate questions as she turns back to her father.

"Well, you can't exactly have a date if I'm there, now can you?"

She feels a light shade of roseate wash across her cheeks, warmth circulating up the sides of her neck as she turns her gaze away to see Rick now getting out of the car and slipping his phone into his pocket.

"I can't drive myself, and Nancy and Ryland invited me for dinner."

She shakes her head while looking back at her dad.

"It's not exactly inviting you to dinner dad when they own the diner." Kate smirks, shaking her head. The diner out in the nearest town was one both Kate and Jim were very fond of and regulars at. They'd known the couple that owned it since her father first brought the cabin, and they'd become close family friends.

She turns to see Rick coming up the steps and she can't help but feel the breath being taken out of her upon seeing the grin on his face as he comes up to meet them. The rain has only slightly dampened his hair and jacket and if her father weren't here, she'd probably run her fingers through the brown locks that are just _asking_ for her to be touched.

"Hi." Rick breathes out looking at Kate and she can't help but grin wider; if possible.

"Hey." Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, and Rick turns to face her father.

"Sir – I mean, Jim." He blinks a few times, shaking his head as he chuckles and extends his hand out, which Jim happily takes and shakes.

"It's good to finally meet you, Rick." He smiles at the man before looking back to Kate. "I think I'll leave you two to it. I'll be back later on tonight, okay?" Jim leans across to kiss Kate's cheek before he's adjusting his crutches and moving towards the steps.

"Oh, dad–" Kate speaks up, reaching towards her father but Rick intervenes and takes a hold of her father.

"Here, I've got it – let me help you." Rick smiles at the man, helping him down the wet steps and towards the awaiting car.

Kate watches from the porch, her pulse pounding and a smile on her face as she takes in the sight; awe coming to sweep over her as she watches the two most important men in her lives; the men she _loves_.

And it hits her then that the feelings she has for Rick, are so much more than she thought. It's love she feels for the man she's barely even known for a year; barely even been dating for a week. But he's everything and more. Somebody she never wants to have to live a day without.

She sucks in a breath, her pulse pounding hard at the revelation as she watches Rick help her father into the car before he's rushing back towards her.

"Sorry about not accepting your call at lunch. Your dad made me promise to keep me coming up here a secret, which is why I didn't accept your call. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret the second I talked to you."

She chuckles slightly, grinning at the man before her.

"I can't believe my dad pretty much set me up." She laughs slightly, her pulse pounding as the warmth in her cheeks stay, the red starting to subside.

Kate glances over Rick's shoulder to see that the other car is gone and she looks back to Rick before taking a step towards him, lifting her hand up to his cheek before sliding her fingers up into the slightly wet hair. "Kinda wanted to do that when I first saw you, but my dad was standing right next to me." She breathes out shakily, Rick's arm coming to wrap around her face as the other comes to tuck a few of her curls behind her ear as he leans forwards to press his forehead against hers.

"You know what I've been wanting to do?"

Her gaze drops to his lips momentarily before back up to the deep blue eyes as her pulse pounds all the way up to her ears. Her fingertips slide down to the back of his neck, the other coming to rest against his chest as her head shakes slightly.

"What?"

She breathes out against his lips before he's closing the distance between them and capturing her lips in a soft, and sweet kiss.

"That." He mumbles against her lips before he's pulling her body closer against his, and continuing to move his lips against hers.


	18. Authors Note

Hi everyone,

I thought it'd be best to give you all an update on this story, as well as my other story ( Just A Game ) since it's been a little over a month since I last updated. Things have been crazy busy and hectic for me and I haven't had a lot of time to write, in saying that I've also lost a bit of writers with writing both these stories ( just writing Castle / Beckett in general ) So i wanted to let you all know that I'm not abandoning either of these stories, I still have plans on how I want to continue them, but right now I don't have the energy to write any of it, so I'm unsure when I'll be updating either of these stories. It may be a few months, or it could be a few weeks, I really don't know but I don't want to force myself to write something I have zero muse for and produce something I'm unhappy with. I thought I'd let you all know just in case you were wondering, and I hope you can understand this and I'm also very sorry about this.

Sincerely, halcyonwords.


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